I am done
Hoping for you
So I must
Move on
For there is nothing
For me
I am done
Crying over you
So now I must
Be strong
And not shed
Anymore tears
Over you
I am done
With all of this pain
That you caused me
In time
My wounds will heal
And I will become
Whole again
And right now
I am done
With you

Friends are the ones that you can count on,
They’re the ones that will watch your back.
Friends will accept you for who you are
Not how you look
-or how you act

Friends trust friends with
Embarrassing moments, hopes
and dreams.
Friends look up to each other,
Stand up for one another.
It’s impossible
To not have a friend
It seems

You can always trust your friends
If they are really true-
Thank your friends,
Even if you
Have a few

Look at me
What do you see
A Person, a Friend, an Enemy
An Athlete, a Geek, an Artist
Look at us
What do you see
White, Black, Asian, Indian
Does it make a differences
Who we are
Where we come form
Look around
What do you see
I see the future in the eyes of many
Standing before me
Look and see what I see
Here in front of me
As do you

It's scary and exciting
Memories were built
Then collapsed in an instant
One too many comments
One too many blows
One too many moments of self-doubt
It's time to leave and begin a new
A new self-love
And self-care
Knowing I deserve a better life
Then the one I would have faithfully settled for
That would have ended my self-esteem
And self-worth
This is not the end
But a new beginning
Of self discovery
And healing for a better
And fulfilling future
Of my own making

I need to walk away from us
The fighting
The manipulation
The drama
The violence
The Trauma
I need to walk away from us
I need to start over
I need to love myself
I deserve better
For that to happen
I need to walk away from us
The love blinders need to come off
So that I can see
The mess that you have created
And hold my head up high
And regrow my spine
So that I can walk away from us
Start a new life until you are
Nothing more than a distant memory
Free from your influence
And negative comments
I have changed
And I am not going back
As there is no us
To walk back to
But only me to move forward  
And to start anew

I wish you knew
How you had affected me
When we were close
When we laughed
I wish you knew
All through the day
You are on my mind
I wish you knew
Over time my feeling
For you became stronger
So the urge to become
More then friends
I wish you knew
I gave you my body
Because I trusted you
I wish you knew
When I was able
To have enough
Courage to tell you
I wanted to give you
My heart
You rejected it
I wish you knew
I resist the urge
To call you
To text you
For I might just
Cry all over again
For the pain
Is overwhelming
To be near you
Is to much
I wish you knew

I am different
So are you
You can read
Better than I can
But I see
The world differently
Call me dumb
Call me stupid
But I know they are not true
For I am smarter than you
I might flip my letters
From time to time
Heck even my numbers to
But that is not my fault
It just happened
There is no easy way
To explain what I mean
Other then looking it up
But it’s even harder
To explain the challenges
That I have to face every day
Even for the rest of my life
You see me different
You see me strange
And call me names
I see you the same way
I find you odd
I find you mean
I also see you ignorant
For not taking the time
To appreciate me
Once you decide
To open your eyes
And see what I see
Only then will you
Understand me

I will meet you one day
Our time together was so short
But I loved every minute
I was ok with the nausea
It meant you were ok
The prospects of the future
Were utter bliss
As we carefully chose
Your potential name

Sadly it didn't last very long
I knew something was wrong
That you were no longer here
It nearly broke my heart
As I never got to meet you
see you grow
Or become the person you were
Never meant to be

No one could have prepared
Me for this kind of grief
The emotional loss
Having it completely
Out of my control
Questioning whether or not
It was meant to be
This time

You were loved by both of us
And one day
we will meet you
Not today
Maybe not tomorrow
Or anytime soon
But when it's our time
We will be reunited
And see your beautiful soul
Grow to what you
were meant to be

Do you know I cry myself to sleep at night?
Wondering when will be the next time you’ll talk to me
I cry myself to sleep at night
When I see you’re on Facebook
But you wont talk to me for some reason
I cry myself to sleep sometimes
Wondering that you found someone else
And you would rather be with her
Because I can’t be there with you
I cry myself to sleep sometimes
Because I’m crazy in love with you
And you wont talk to me for weeks at a time
The only thing I can do right now
Is cry my self to sleep
Hoping one day you’ll see the pain I’m in,
The constant heartache I feel all the time.
All I can do is cry myself to sleep
Thinking about you and only you
Please tell me what you want me to do
Because all I can do is cry
Over you

Emotions are like water
It's fluid as a stream
They can be intense
And out of control
Or passive
Locking up your emotions
Until a dame is high
Until it becomes too much
And the water overflows
Creating an avalanche
of destruction in its wake

Your kindness
Compassion
And patients
Calms me
I feel safe and steady
In your arms
I am not worried
Of my past nor
What the future
May entail
But rather living
In the moment
With you
Healing in your
Steadfast heart

hiding your face behind a mask
forcing a smile
pretending you're okay
It is painfully hard to live in a world
and show no emotion
Sometimes it's easier to pretend
put on that fake smile
and force it down your throat
deep down anxiety building up
depression overwhelming
pretending you are okay
when all you want to do is
let that mask down
Peek behind it
Letting that mask slip
even at the slightest
puts me in jeopardy
in my head,
I am screaming with anxiety
wanting to slip this mask off
to show the pain that I'm in
but deep down
I know this mask
is the only thing
preventing me from showing
the emotions that are bubbling over
who will care if you drop that mask
this mask puts everyone at arm's length
Where can I be with no judgment
where can I be with no mask
I do not feel I can be myself
without putting on the mask that
everyone is familiar with
Who associates this front
That feels disingenuous
A lie for sanity
That is destroying me
From the inside out

Everything was magical
And new
I felt I was the luckiest
Person alive
But slowly
The beautiful facade
That was painted with
Rose colored glasses
Began to chip away
One piece at a time
Slowly revealing the horror
I would endure
In an endless nightmare
As I held the broken fragments
That created your mask
Holding onto a fictional
Character never to be
Worn again
Bonded by trauma
Holding so tight
Suffocating in my
My own misery
Unable to recognize myself
In the mirror
Knowing I need to break free
Of this nightmare
Of a life
I did not sign up for