Hearing the deafening static in my mind
Every time I get motion sick
Arguing siblings who can't be mature
Dead of night where a thunderstorm rages on
After a really long, hard, cry
Concentrating too ******* too many things at once
Harmless basketball headed fast for cranium
Eating or drinking nothing for too long

no more
i can't do it

you can't understand
how much strain i put on my mind just to make you happy
and in the end
you only make.......
see?
i'm afraid to even say how i feel
on a poem you may never read
because if you do
you may find out
and resent me

that is much like our conversations
filtered again and again
watching my every word
just
to
make
you
happy.
i'll do it a million times a day
and yet it doesn't make me feel any better about myself.

no more
i can't do it

i'm willing to do anything for you
that doesn't mean i should.
if i did what i should;
would i let you do what you want,
much like the incubi of my past?
would i silence myself,
just to hear a bittersweet sentence from your mouth?
would i sacrifice my time, my precious time, which i had promised for life's responsibilities?
no. but i don't do what i should, so it's okay.

or is it?

...

no more
i can't do it

i'm really gonna miss the times
where we could just hang out

i'm really gonna miss the sighs
when you pleased my mind to goop, inside out

oh but things are changing
things won't be the same

i find my self anticipating, yet worried
wondering if you'll forget my name

i'm really gonna miss the jokes
laugh-laughin' all night long

i'm really gonna miss your voice
making my heart skip every time

oh but things are changing
things won't be the same

i find myself anticipating, yet worried
wondering if you'll forget my name

i'm really gonna miss the pain
that my mind trades for loving you

i'm really gonna miss the time
i willingly spent between us two

oh but things are changing
things won't be the same

i find my self anticipating, yet worried
wondering if you'll forget my name

yeah, i'm really gonna miss a lot of things
but out of all of them,

i'll miss you.

Tell me, what is it like?
Death, I mean.

I already know what life is like.
Even if it isn't always what it seems.

I know some live it to the fullest,
I know some waste it all away.
I know that it can begin in the most miraculous circumstances,
And I know that it always comes to an end anyway.

Please, those in the afterlife, what is truly death?
I have to know. I'll be meeting it soon.

**** it hurts
and i ask so many times

why.

why.

why.

everyone has asked at least once
does it ever go anywhere?

no.

no.

no.

i just wish it could stop
this pain, it brings searing heat and tears

radiating.

radiating.

radiating.


if only. the world is filled with "if's"
especially mine

maddening.

maddening.

maddening.

i can feel my emotions slow down
boiling to simmering, barely there now

numb.

numb.

numb.


why is it so maddening, radiating from my core throughout my core?
no. nevermind. it's numb.

we thirst for her touch
she's our beginning and end
drip drop drip ...we feast!