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Feb 2017 · 278
Strange Heart
Ellie Belanger Feb 2017
I think I have a strange heart,
One that warbles in my chest,
Like a fat red cardinal trembling
As it decides to turn back around
On a thin twig of a tree branch,
Whose leaves jitter and shake in time
With long red feathers on wings.

I think my heart is strange,
But it seems to know you very well.
What will come of this, you think?
Only time can tell.
Feb 2017 · 693
I prefer not to
Ellie Belanger Feb 2017
Asexuality?
Nah,
I am the Bartleby
Of ***.
Feb 2017 · 958
Calypso #3229
Ellie Belanger Feb 2017
Relax past participle in order to
Accelerate mass particles
And innervate long dead articles
Of thought once thought tried and untrue.
Feb 2017 · 628
Matine the Archaeologist
Ellie Belanger Feb 2017
"T-t-tuh-truthfully," he stammered,
"I cannot tell the d-d-difference."

Inside a recently abandoned coal mine,
His voice scattered down endless tunnels.

He lit a match and held it up before him,
But it immediately burned out.

"Are you an idiot or something?"
His companion shuffled beside him.

There was small, plastic-sounding click
And then they were both bathed in light.

"You can't light matches down here, ***.
You'll blow us to Kingdom Come."

"S-s-s-" but his companion cut him off. "Sorry
don't put the skin back on your bones."

"Now look again, Matine." His companion
Urged him closer to the small wooden table.

Matine looked at the two, ancient sea shells,
Anxiety filling up his stomach like acid soup.

Several tense seconds passed as he brought
Each one up to his face and studied it.

"T-t-tuh-truthfully," he stammered,
"I cannot tell the d-d-difference."

Inside a recently abandoned coal mine,
His voice scattered down endless tunnels.

Matine's companion was not a patient man.
His name was Jack. And he left the mine.

Matine did not.
Duh Duh Duuuhhh
Feb 2017 · 280
All is said, all is done
Ellie Belanger Feb 2017
She reasoned
That when it was all "said and done"
She'd know that she did the best she could.

"Trees do not uproot themselves for your pleasure,"
She told herself.

"They are uprooted because they must be,
By wind or rain or decay, or for want of money."
Her heart sank slightly.
"But they do not take commands."

A pebble rolled grittily between the rubber sole
Of her shoe and the slumbering asphalt.
She watched it ricochet off into the dark tree line.

"I will climb trees," she thought, and for the first time in days
She felt herself
Smile.
Feb 2017 · 234
Some thoughts about snakes
Ellie Belanger Feb 2017
My nights become endless days
When you are absent from the waking moments of my morning,
My afternoon,
My evening.
They stumble on themselves in waiting for your visage,
Ambling evermore until your touch,
Your voice,
Your stories are here with me,
Travelling light as hydrogen in my heart,
Warm as summer waters against my skin,
Strange bright thing in the field of endless color and variation,
I don't know if I love you
But I know I am enchanted,

It is my dear desire to see you,
Not just once more,
But always.

Provide me with the magic mirror
So that I may finally sleep sound,
With the crackling warmth of your dry laughter still churning in my ears.
Feb 2017 · 298
The Great One
Ellie Belanger Feb 2017
The Great One strolled in,
Pleased as a fat slice of birthday cake,
In the mid afternoon heat and sweat
Of Low Georgia summer.
He kicked off his muddy boots
With the gusto of an aroused lumberjack
And took to the staircase as
A marathon runner takes to his first couple
Kilometers.

When he reached the hallway at the top
He hollered, "You've got ten seconds to be
****-*** naked, 'cause here I come!"
And he stripped himself of his plaid
And blue jeans,
Mud-hemmed socks and underwear,
And all his garments
descended half-way down the staircase
Before folding on top of one another neatly
As if gently placed there,
Rather than being flung at the zig
zagging carpet.
"It was the clothes' way of rebelling,"
No one, nobody said.
But most true things are left
Unsaid.

The Great One traipsed,
Yes, traipsed,
Down the short, blue-wallpapered hallway
And spun the shiny brass ****
Of his bedroom door, and pushed
Until It swung open,
And he said,
"Are you ready?"
And stared into the unlit bedroom,
The two north-facing windows open,
Short, floral pattern curtain his wife had
Sewn, flapping stupidly in a breeze that hadn't
Been breezing when he was outside,
Just fifteen minutes ago,
And the Great One saw that the bed was made,
Just a slab of gray polyester/cotton blend,
And his wife was not naked on that bed.
And the TV was off.
And the TV was always never off.

And the Great One stood very still
And felt the silence, and the stillness
Of the house around him,
How it seemed like a strange thing,
Against the rolling gray clouds and
Snapping wind.

He reached his right hand
To his right back pocket
And typed the four-digit alakazam
To get into his phone
and saw nothing new.
He rang his wife
But was transitioned to voicemail.
He sat on the edge of the bed.

Well.

the curtains flapped harder
Against themselves as he watched
The storm roll in.
And thought to himself,
A guilty child in an old body
prone to superstition,
"Shoulda cleaned my boots off,
'Fore I came in.
Shoulda cleaned 'em off.
She would have given me
Hell."

He let the rain come into the room,
It spattered against the soft yellow painted wall
And
The curtains simply shuddered,
Sodden as they were.

Well.

She sure had a knack of giving him hell.
The Great One changed his title back to David,
And stared out of the bedroom windows for a long time.
He woke up, without remembering falling asleep.
Feb 2017 · 220
Oh you know
Ellie Belanger Feb 2017
She sighed and tossed the hair out of her eyes
He sipped loudly from a nearly dry Coke can
"This *****," she said. "I'm going home."
A jazzy song started to play over the outside speakers
A couple ambled past, walking their minituare schnauzer
"Ok." He said, shaking the Coke can irritably.
Feb 2017 · 312
Lat
Ellie Belanger Feb 2017
Lat
I feel like ten thousand thunderstorms
On mute
Just a series of verbs and vibrations
I wonder what my words really say
What they really mean
But the lightning show gets in the way
Makes you gasp and forget
The conversation we were having
And the last words
Unspoken
Are Nivana in a shot glass
Feb 2017 · 218
Party memories
Ellie Belanger Feb 2017
They sat on a yellow couch,
That smelled strongly of moth *****,
And that had thick, dull brass buttons
In rows of eight and nine across the seating.
And the birthday party continued on
In the living room mostly,
But also in the kitchen and out on
The back porch.

The little yellow couch sat
In a small, awkward hallway
Between the dining room and kitchen,
And it took three minutes for any party goers
To interrupt them.

Her name was Alice then.
When she turned thirty-eight she changed it
To Alma.
His name was and is Robert.
He wore brown shorts that day.

Her hair was curled, for the occasion.
He asked her if she liked strawberry cake.
She said she didn't.
He laughed and said he'd eat her slice.
She said she wouldn't mind.
She reached out and held his hand.
He let her.
Until the girl walked through.
And they ooed and awwed at Alice and Robert.
And then they giggled themselves into the living room.
And Robert, almost twelve, looked at Alice
And thought, "She is beautiful".
And he said, "See you around," and walked into the kitchen.

And Alice thought,
"Maybe I will try strawberry cake."
Feb 2017 · 366
a summons
Ellie Belanger Feb 2017
I know your heart,
Only if it is like mine.
And if it is I know your hurt.
I know you hurt for others.
I know you hurt for things untouchable
But that can be felt by all.
You yearn for betterness.
Know of its existence by the dance inside your bones
And the song inside your soul.
And this world is a bad world
For the ones that feel
And think the way we do.
But it isn't time for hatred,
Because hatred has no room for goodness.
Remain vigilant not only in thought
But in action
Love is not the act of ignoring violence,
Bigotry, sexism, war
Love is the act of overcoming.
We shall overcome.
Feb 2017 · 683
Cutting out
Ellie Belanger Feb 2017
If I cut you from my life
Like an image from a family photograph
Your absence would still exist
But it would lose your features
Make you into empty space

As nameless and yet as true as the heart
Which beats wildly inside me
As I imagine a new, strange lover's eyes
Meeting mine for the first time

And how
as we share our first drinks,
He'll ask me about you
And I won't remember the words I once said
To describe you
Because how do you explain something
That isn't there
Jan 2017 · 286
Love is
Ellie Belanger Jan 2017
Love is a quiet whisper
In a small, cold tent
On the side of a vast forest
As the sun breaks over the tops of the trees
And spills itself in pools between
Open-armed branches.

Love is a joyous shout
From the top of a tall peak
At the edge of the eternal, hungry ocean
As the sun falls below the water's edge
And the sky is all purples and velvety blues
Slowly punctured by the gold-green light of
Summer stars.

Love is hands held in the backseat of the bus
Or against the hard, uncomforting metal and plastic of this worn hospital chair.
Love is whatever love chooses to be.
And as they salty, cold tears slide down my face,
Rough and excema-ridden in this weather,
I am glad that I still know
What love is.
Jan 2017 · 188
Politics
Ellie Belanger Jan 2017
Can't sleep so I
Check my Facebook,
See the little Capitol Building icon
In the news feed box
And I press it with my finger.

Nothing happens.
No loading bar,
No
Nothing.

And for a wild second I think,
"Even Facebook has given up on trying to
Make sense of American politics."

And then it loads.
Jan 2017 · 226
The relief
Ellie Belanger Jan 2017
It is time for me to go now
I've done all that I can
I wished for more from this place, I thought
But I really wished for more from me
Which is why it is time to go home
And sleep the five year nightmare of my loneliness
Away
Dec 2016 · 271
Ex#33
Ellie Belanger Dec 2016
Wouldn't it be nice,
I thought today.
Wouldn't it be nice
to shelve my worries,
In the manner of shelving bad books;
Poor prose, hackneyed hooks,
sold to Rome but the Romans won't look,
Yeah, that's a good metaphor for what I think about,
You,
Me,
my dearest Society.

And then I saw that I could stop
And let my observations drop
To sit and drain into the earth
So that I have nothing to rehearse.
On the day or the days that I
Find love not written in the sky
But singing in the bubble-pop
Of brief awareness, before all's lost,
I think

Yes.
This is how eternity feels.

But eternity ends before it begins
For a soul reused, recycled, made
Bare by mechanical-biological sins.

And your soul must be like mine,
I think with the fire of a desperate, jealous lover
How could it not be? I can tell by
The way that you smother,
And your mother,
Who sent me messages in my dreams,
Still tells you
No
When you drink to me.
So here here,
Is a toast,
To the open, balding sea,
May it swallow up you
And may it swallow up me.
Dec 2016 · 230
@home
Ellie Belanger Dec 2016
So,
I'm usually pretty good at deflecting those gray-sky feelings,
But today I reflected them, and they really left me reeling
Because there ain't no party like a pity party,
And a pity party don't stop.
It just fades,
Unlike these feelings I have, feelings
For a man who makes my pulse quicken
But my heart ache,
And before I go on about heartbreak,
Remember;
Pity party don't stop.
It just whispers,
Strange and terrible little things,
Or long and loud screams of dissent,
It'll never be about you. It'll never be about me.

I watched a guy I like walk out with a girl who walks out with everyone.
I watched the ***** of trash sink into the rot of garbage in my mother's living room.
I watched a truely wonderful woman cry because of a young woman's undue scorn.
I watched a good friend cough until his face was red, and his legs were wobbly. I watched him retch.
I watched the food in my fridge slowly rot, untouched.

Don't stop.
Nov 2016 · 579
Untitled
Ellie Belanger Nov 2016
Happy thanksgiving
Waiting for the two ten hour shifts
And two nine hour shifts
And the paycheck which means rent
And I'm sitting in this black cloth chair
Playing a game about survival
And feeling like I can't wait to survive
The next two months
And then the next year
Praying to any God that might listen
That I might live for the next ten, maybe even twenty years,
And learn all the things I've patiently been waiting
To learn.

So happy thanksgiving,
I am thankful to be alive,
But **** it,
No where vast is there true peace,
As our nation briefly rejoices in one another,
Before waking up yet again to
Chaos
And collapse.

Karma rolls around
You probably have not slaughtered any indengionous people with your own born hands
But your genetics probably have,
In some fashion,
Along the way.
This turkey day,
I urge you to rebel,
And celebrate now,
While remembering the warning screaming
Loud
We have only this,
The stewardship of nature and human empathy,
Don't let them take it away.
Nov 2016 · 200
Untitled
Ellie Belanger Nov 2016
My words are free and instant magic
Watch them fall across the air and swim away
Carried on the currents of wind and passing time
Spare me the tragic belittling truth today
I am watching words fly
Nov 2016 · 278
Painting Plans
Ellie Belanger Nov 2016
I had plans to see you today
But you cancelled on me
Last minute, so I changed my plans
And I decided to paint pictures
Of things that don't exist
Like the conversations we didn't have
And the plans we didn't keep.
Nov 2016 · 287
HE #7366
Ellie Belanger Nov 2016
Emptied pockets, not wanting.
Laid down like soft blue rabbit's ears
At the flanks of the inside-out jeans draped on the floor.
Two grey and blue socks puddle at the legs like
decayed fruits, sunken and sour smelling
and the sound of you;
Breathing deeply in your calm slumber,
reminds me of vast oceans full of gray
and warm sunlight on sandy beaches,
And it is the gray of your eyes and the sunlight of your touch.
Nov 2016 · 539
Geyser
Ellie Belanger Nov 2016
The wretched sound
I mistook for tires squelching flat against pavement
Is actually the timely torrent of water
From a broken sprinkler head
Four houses down the street
First soft wet dribbles
Then increasing pressure
Until twenty or so seconds of geysering
Then nothing for ten seconds
Water pours loudly into the soaked mud
And everyone else sleeps.
Nov 2016 · 508
visits
Ellie Belanger Nov 2016
It is sudden understanding
Which brings me back to you
Which pushes me back into your arms
And makes me swoon at your eyes
And it is always sudden despair
Which turns me away
And leads me back down a smaller path
That pretends to have never known your name.
Nov 2016 · 273
distance
Ellie Belanger Nov 2016
The space and time between who I am and who I was
Isn't really real, says quantum theory
It's all happening at once
Just a cacophony of every everything that ever was
Exploding simultaneously into and out of existence, just
Bubbles squeezed into one another, growing larger with each input,
And our brains can only receive the signal of this three-dimensional, one-way version of things,
Can only translate it's movements into the illusion of straight time
Can only hopelessly trouble itself with relatively unimportant matters
Like the physical, emotional, ridiculous distance between myself
And you, my sweetest, loveliest darling,
Who are so perfect and so fluid
You might as well be the only matter
That ever mattered.

Except that maybe distance is what makes my heart yearn for you, maybe it's
Not some romantic magic formed in the dust of ancient stars,
Which whirled and grasped in the post-nova, until sinking this way and that, forming bonds and making plans,
Just like any other college graduate,
Never expecting to end up as part of a human being billions of years later.
But then, when do we ever live the life our educations prepared us for?
Hardly ever.
Right on down to the particulars.
Thinking about it.
Nov 2016 · 569
Borrowed time
Ellie Belanger Nov 2016
She asked if I could I said "yes but
I won't."
She asked why not, laughing all the same,
And I said "because I
Prefer not to."
Then she got really serious,
Her eyebrows scrunched down hard toward her nose
And she said "you're on
Borrowed time."
I asked her what she expected me to do about that
And she said "live more."
Nov 2016 · 398
Untitled
Ellie Belanger Nov 2016
Origin of language
It's my dream to understand
Why and how
And I think it was
And it is
The human need for individuality
Betterness
To be at the top of the hierarchy
Which has sparked the vast expanse
Of spoken and written language,
The cheap signal communication style
So characteristic of human beings
Has everything to do with the need
To control and create
But the joke, ultimately,
May be on us
For when you create less than what you destroy,
You cease to be the creator of your own destiny,
And become instead the destroyer of your own fate.
Listen to the whispers of dead language
Which creep through your DNA
And understand.
Sep 2016 · 486
Too much
Ellie Belanger Sep 2016
Our bodies contain too much Mercury
From eating too much fish
Our drinking water contains too much chromium
From weapons testing and industrial pollution
Our media contains too much violence
From saying "all me are equal" but not really meaning it
Our hearts contain too much apathy
Because there's just too much.
Sep 2016 · 451
15 years ago today
Ellie Belanger Sep 2016
15 years ago today
I was ten
And kids were getting pulled from class
Taken home by worried parents
And all the kids were watching the TV sets
In their classrooms
Except for my class
We were not allowed
The teacher
mrs. coyer
Said
"You all see soon enough. It'll be everywhere."
And I hated her for not allowing us to know
But when I got home
And I did know,
I understood
She was trying to protect us
From the image and the terror
Of death.
Sep 2016 · 783
Bar watch
Ellie Belanger Sep 2016
Her smoke moves like Spanish moss,
Blue-gray tendrils intertwining
Around the shining plastic beads slung low on her wrist,
As she takes another liberal sip from her Budweiser bottle
and does her best to ignore the man she came here with tonight,
he's telling the barmaid about how he got the scar on his right cheek,
And I know parts of their story,
But the thing that troubles me most
Is that I'll never know how it ends.
Sep 2016 · 301
Resignation
Ellie Belanger Sep 2016
Here it is,
The end.

I give up,
I give up,
I give up.
Sep 2016 · 378
I have grown cold
Ellie Belanger Sep 2016
If the world be ever changing,
Ever rotating on its wobbly axis,
Then I,
As constituent and citizen of the world,
Be ever changing too.

I was born hot, and wet, and loud, the last day of June.
And now I have grown,
And I have grown cold,
Because the hurt of learning
The pain of change, and the disappointment,
Has eaten to oxygen from the flame of joy
I was born holding
In my chest.

Were that I could find ignition within,
Some magic bit of unlockable truth,
rather than casting out my net of questions,
And attending to the ones who bite.
Sep 2016 · 634
Expatriate
Ellie Belanger Sep 2016
When I see the people abandon their old American Dream,
I read about their travels, their hungers and their happinesses,
I wonder if it is
madness
or if it is
love
which has inspired their souls
to commit the ultimate treason-
the pursuit of freedom.
Aug 2016 · 227
Untitled
Ellie Belanger Aug 2016
Sweat pours from the places where my bones meet
My eyes shut against the glare of oil on asphalt
The wind carries whispers of rain, makes the leaves dance and fall
My skin radiates and tightens as I walk
Cars trundle past and around me, I hear them make their way
And I think about my mom, and about food, and about showering when I get home
This isn't a poem, is it
It's just me
Aug 2016 · 929
guilt rotary
Ellie Belanger Aug 2016
My guilt is a sad song that is catchier than Spanish influenza
I press it down and up, like levers on a strange machine
But the fluctuations are constant,
Always teeming high and sweeping low,
But never
Ever
Gone.

I guess it is conscience,
My moral discontent,
Which breeds this inner animosity,
But this is only data
And would be best used to implement a constant rotary of ways to help others
Rather than damning myself.
Aug 2016 · 303
I thought,
Ellie Belanger Aug 2016
It has been ages,
Whole geologic stratos of time arrayed by color and not by year,
Since I have breathed deeply and loved warmly and felt that a fire was burning for me in someone's bedroom window.

But I feel the moment approaching,
And though scared and unsure I may be,
I ache in wait for the inconsolable events about to hit,
Knowing that there is new life during and after it has come.
May 2016 · 252
Untitled
Ellie Belanger May 2016
The sea is milk
And I am soap
White wash it all
And paint new pictures
Mar 2016 · 422
Easter 2016
Ellie Belanger Mar 2016
The air is still, and the sky flooded
gray.
Green things reach up while black things decay.
Cars hum past, bothered by delay,
And fifty years ago today,
It was Easter Sunday,
And the sun was high and bright,
Golden in the sky,
And children screamed with delight,
As they found many-colored eggs
And devoured chocolate pies.
But then
Their shiny shoes got stuffed in closets, easter memory forever now,
The houses that were here remain,
But the families are all gone somehow.
The air is still. The sky flooded gray. It is a dreary, weary Easter Sunday.
But God wanted it all this way.
Mar 2016 · 461
Raindrops
Ellie Belanger Mar 2016
The raindrops contain every color, and they shimmer through each hue as they slide off the long green fronds of the front yard ferns.
They disappear into dirt, make mud.
But they still hold rainbows.
Sometimes they just have to evaporate back into the stratosphere, collect and slide out of heavy clouds, tumble back to the front yard ferns, and shimmer again. It's ok though. Water always has time.

I wish that I did too.
Mar 2016 · 320
Friend-zone Is Love
Ellie Belanger Mar 2016
Here it is again.
That murderer of smiles.
The truth of my feelings
going and making you feel sad again.
I keep apologizing, and I can feel that it only makes you want to
push me away, as far away as possible.
And I keep wondering
why do I do this?
You're not the first friend I've lost to ***,
or lack thereof.
You won't be the last.
Should I spend my life alone
in order to forego the risk of hurting
the ones who would spend time with me?
The ritual of befriended and abandoned
has left me feeling like
there is no one like me,
not in the whole world.
When I spend my day with you
I love you
even if I never **** your ****.
When I buy you beer you like
I love you,
even if you never show me off to your family.
Is my love any less
because it comes from my spirit
and not my body?
This world is a scary place.
Yes it is.
Feb 2016 · 709
Diary #434
Ellie Belanger Feb 2016
the car wash plays music over two tiny, square speakers, one mounted to either side of the vending machines.
It usually plays modern pop music hits and misses,
But today it's playing Elvis.
Today it's playing Suspicious Minds.
Today the sun is shining and the sky is blue.
All the washing stalls are occupied.
Silver, blue, and two black cars are getting clean today.
And I sit across the lot, waiting to work the rest of my shift,
Watching the day turn,
As House of The Rising Sun begins it's turn on the car wash loudspeakers.
Feb 2016 · 282
Untitled
Ellie Belanger Feb 2016
I called the shots until I realized
I was shooting all my friends.
Dec 2015 · 584
argument with a painter
Ellie Belanger Dec 2015
My canvas is the same as yours
Just white, solid surface
Made to fill with shapes and patterns
Of varying sizes.

The only difference is that
You use more colors
To paint your truth
And I use more words
To paint mine.

Some of us got lucky
And found what makes us
Work
Some of us still wonder

But life is art
And we paint it with our tongues
And with our eyes and hands.

Don't argue with me anymore
About whose paintings
Are
Better.
Dec 2015 · 572
#548
Ellie Belanger Dec 2015
I'm sitting on the carpet of my rented room
Swatting neurotically at gnats and fleas that may
Or may not
Actually be there,
On my arms and on my face.
The only proof are the little red bites,
Up my left arm and across the bottom of my chin, where they stop.
As if my blood boils while I sleep, leaving little red marks to show that I need to
Chill out
Calm down
De-stress
But I'm
in distress,
Destroyed.
I need a higher up.
I need a voice that speaks with more experience,
With firm understanding,
With the knowledge of everything.
And I can't seem to find it in Bibles, Torahs, Quarans, or other holy scriptures.
I only hear it whisper from old history textbooks,
I hear it only
Chiming softly like drowned out cymbals from the radio talk
I only see it peripherally in my rear view mirror,
Can only taste it as an after taste of many drinks.
It is ribonucleic acid,
It is thymine, guanine, adenine, and cytosine.
It is the carpet of my rented room.
Nov 2015 · 408
Write After Death
Ellie Belanger Nov 2015
I will escape my body one day
And death will take what's left
But until then
Let's sing each other's praises
Until we're out of breath
And dance in sunlight, and moon light too
Let's drink to more drinks
And write it all down in a book
When all the rubber is worn from the soles of our shoes
our hearts keep beating with syllables and pentameter unspiralling
Even when the blood in our veins stops flowing
Let our souls flow out via the poetry
Kept stuffed in half-filled spiral notebooks perspiring, just
Waiting for you,
And for the you after you,
To live again
In the language of an old life
Speaking dead alive stories
For others to keep inside their own
beating hearts.
Nov 2015 · 411
listen
Ellie Belanger Nov 2015
Instead of worrying, I listen
Turn off the endlessly pouring spout of inner monologue flooding my senses
and listen

There is music in silence, a kind of symphony made by the absence of what could be there and yet
What is not
Nov 2015 · 382
rips
Ellie Belanger Nov 2015
late afternoon sunlight descends through the waving Palm and Oak branches
highlights the rips in the knees of my jeans, made not bought
and I feel like I'm seven years old again
waiting for everything
too young to know what's waiting for me on the other side of time
but then my next door neighbor comes outside and says
"Hello"
and it's welcome back to now,
to right now,
when I'm twenty four and sitting outside writing this poem,
hoping that you're proud of me,
hoping that I can still learn to love properly,
hoping that I always get rips in the knees of my jeans.
Oct 2015 · 364
love poem
Ellie Belanger Oct 2015
Please no- not another love poem,
Not another repetitious unravelling of sentiment and revelation that
Yes-! You feel and you desire and you want
Just as much
As almost everyone else.

Not another love poem,
No more please,
I can't stand looking at them
And feeling this heart inside me
Grow hard and heavy, become a mountain
Of missing you,
Until I want to scream,
Until I want to
Wake up from this crazy thing.

And everyone else in the world just gets to
Keep writing love poems,
and why are you in every single one?
Oct 2015 · 501
Nights Like Tonight
Ellie Belanger Oct 2015
I love nights like tonight
When the wind catches me
And pushes my hair back
And it's as if I've been standing in a thick, deep, dark forest
And now the trees and bushes and hanging vines blow back in different directions
Revealing paths I could not see before
Letting me choose again
Which way to walk,
Instead of this lonely frustrated hobble through thickets
I get a chance to pick
My own path,
And the wind will keep blowing me forward
To a new forest
With different animals and sounds
To learn and fear.

But God,
I love nights like this,
When the whole world is made new again
By nothing more
Than a breeze and a searching heart
Sep 2015 · 1.5k
Fredericksburgville Town
Ellie Belanger Sep 2015
I see a monster
It is eating spaghetti
It is a good thing

I'm glad that it does
Not eat me or my brother
He likes spaghetti

We asked him his name
And he grumbled intensely,
"I'm Mr. Monster!"

He always came in
After a quarter past ten
And raided our fridge.

Frederiksburgville Town
Didn't usually have monsters
But they had pasta

And so the monster
Told the little children things
About from where it came

And it sang a song
That was very short and long
And it went like this:

Gobbledegook gobbledeedee
Fricasha bulungo tirimasu wings!

The children sat stunned
It was a horrible song
You can't sing along.
Sep 2015 · 1.1k
Saying hello, again
Ellie Belanger Sep 2015
Saying hello, again
Because to say goodbye
I'd have to trust that I would not
Say hello again.

And my silence comes in colors
Like drip-dry paint on the walls of my mouth
Tastes like green and yellow today
Fresh flowers that arrived late
And the yard working all shades.

I hate to stop
Picking back up where I left off is easier said
Than remembered,
No matter how many scribbled expo marker notes are left
on the dry erase boards of my closed eyelids,

Hello,
Again.
Care to dance this dance with me?
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