Its been years since we've met.
Years since we last said hello.
Years since I fell in love with you.

It's been years since we both left school.
Where we both were reckless teenagers.
Years since we left marks on our wrists.
I've stopped, I wonder if you ever will.

All these years, do you still remember me?
As your dog?
As your monster?
As your temporary lover?

I still remember you.
I remember you very clearly.
Because all these years,
I've never stopped loving you.

You made a poet fall in love with you
And expected her not to write sonnets about your eyes
Haikus about the way you kissed her in the moonlight
Expected the fire in her heart not to inspire couplets
You made a poet fall in love with you, and when you left
Expected her not to write pages about the ache in her chest
Write a soliloquy dedicated to her tears
Expected her not to feel every gut wrenching moment of the pen hitting paper like your words hit her in the most vulnerable places of her mind.
You made a poet fall in love with you, and you expected her to be silent.
That is no fault of hers.

I hate the way I
                             F
                               A
                                 L
                                   L
                                       in love
With a whisper
That LOOK

you know the one I mean

Always with the one I know will leave.

Is it really love that I crave
Or an excuse to wallow in my **misery?

God has numbered every strand
upon your head and knows your name
designed you well, by His own hand
and put you in, to play the game.

Synthetic grass needs lots of care
out in left field, looking down
just like the stuff they weave in hair
and then that old familiar sound.

the ball's been hit, straight down left field
reality and daydream blurred
the guy on second tries to steal
but can't outrun your throw to third.

He's out but then that guy on first
has stolen base and now on second,
thoughts on grass are in your face
because your left field mind has beckoned.

Vision sharp, and body strong
and under cap, your brain recalled
the numbers given to each strand
upon your head shaved mostly bald.

and then another sudden crack
awakens player from the norm
the far left fielder plays it out
and crowds applause while you perform.

Every morning I'll wake up shaking from the things I lack in life.
So I'll add ***** to my coffee to help forget.
I'll mix my anxiety with more stimulants to help preoccupy my mind.
A million thoughts racing but you make it a million and one.
I don't think about him the way I think about you.
I still remember the way your hands would shake whenever they were placed on my hips and the way you kissed my neck never felt short of feeling unsure.
When the tips of our fingers graze each other, I still remember how hesitant you were to touch a square inch of my flesh.
Your absence left me nervous and that's become my new identity, but even though we've been acquainted before, we became close friends.
Afraid of letting go so we grew together instead.
My hands shake just like yours do and I still add anxiety to my liquid courage and pray that I wake up the next morning hoping to drink my coffee alone and maybe then I can tell you the reason why I am intertwined within his sheets and not yours is because he made me feel like someone wanted me, and that's something you could never do.

I'm not easy to manage
I have a storm in my mind
Trying to find its way out
And I will grip unto you
Like I've never seen sunlight
But you don't need to calm the storm
I just like to know there's still light