Why do you think that because Im not attracted to you,
That I dont think you're attractive?
You're very attractive,
Hot even,
But I'm not attracted to you.
I'm gay ***,
Not blind.

One missed call but no voicemail.
I would say we're playing phone tag but I can't shake the feeling that you only called so you can say you never gave up.

This isn't even poetry anymore but did I ever write poetry about you?

I wrote poetry about girls and the weather and sometimes both and I write angst filled strings of thought about you.

Call again, I'll hear the phone ring this time, I promise.

patience is a virtue i'm uncomfortable with
and i was never taught how to love
no house has been a home
so i try to find home in people around me
but people are temporary and fleeting
and i am temporary and fleeting
my mind wanders easily
and i can't find focus
"you've got to pull yourself together, girl
you've got to watch out for your health"
but all i can hear are my walls caving in
and only small things ring through
it's the year of the snake
once a mighty dragon
sly, calm, quiet and
lonely

When you sacrifice me to your friends,
Do you feel like a god?
When you slap me across the face,
When you play me like your guitar,
In front of them all,
Do you feel good,
Feel better?
Because you just killed a girl
Who only wrote you love letters.

Stop showing
You love me
A little at a time.

Stop saying
You care
Bit by bit.

Stop keeping
Me here
For tiny pieces of time.

Because I need
All of you
Not piece by piece.

I love
All of you
Not just some parts of you.

So love all of me
All the way
All the time.

Or let all of me go
All at once
For good.

I don't regret the way I breathed in your heart,
Or the way you gently held my hand in the dark.

I don't regret how it felt that morning, glowing with summers heat,
When we met in secret to feel our hearts beat.

That was the last time it felt real, and no I don't regret,
I just hope no matter where we are, that we don't forget.

You told me you wanted to kiss me,
As the river rushed and my flesh was no longer frozen,
My heart skipped and ran as I finally felt chosen.

But our lips never met and I don't regret,
How you told me that evening you were scared and you weren't ready yet.

I know what that meant, and I don't have some false hope,
But I won't regret and I don't have to cope.

You told me that you loved me,
But just as a friend.
Hey darling I understand, we don't have to pretend.

Maybe it wasn't meant to be,
But I loved every moment that I spent with you,
I know how you feel, I was scared out of my mind too.

I don't regret the way we awkwardly flirted,
Or the way it feels foolish looking back, your words bluntly blurted.

Honest and raw was our code of conduct,
I am messy and bleeding, who am I to instruct?

But regret? No, not for a moment.
I only hope that I still mean the world to you,
Just know that you mean the world to me too.

Call me Oedipus and let me call you mommy,
**** me hard and kiss me lively.

Act like Freud and dream about my ****,
spread your legs and let me have a lick.

Kiss me like Hemingway, short and sweet,
like the sun and the horizon, eternally we shall meet.

I used to stand in church
and close my eyes

waiting for a god to wash me over
with peace and love

and all i felt was

the tingling in my fingertips

the uncomfortable way my eyes were closed

the soft hairs tickling my temples

the pain resounding in my joints

and i didn't feel god
all i felt was the awkwardness of me

standing in a church

Everything in life ends badly, otherwise it would never end.