I don't think I'll ever see anything

as beautiful

as you laughing

and looking into my eyes

So why does my eye only see
in front of me,
why can't I see the horizon so
lovely,
why must it always be this way,
Oh my muse I wish you would
leave me soon,
for my life cannot sustain under your marvelous presence,
you're always on my mind,
the reason for my educational
decline,
still I love you,
even if I must leave you,
even if this is a way to indulge you

Basking in postcoital bliss, talking between the sheets
catching our breath, giggling with laughter treats

Laying in the afterglow, tangled in the sheets
sweating cooling skin, and completing greater feats

Blissful in post euphoria, feeling quite appeased
finding comfort in warm arms, putting me at ease

Still sighing, touching, tasting, nuzzled in content
reveling in the splendor, our minds and bodies, spent

Let me drink, this moment in, before we turn to clocks,
wishing only to start again, as seconds ticking  mocks.

Snuggling together, eyes and hands so locked
wishing for ourselves, more hours, on the clock

the scent of her sweat
cigarette ash on my skin
she says, "don't forget."
as she whispers to my ear
the story of how we met

I tell you
That my memory is hazy.

I tell you that perhaps it’s my head that made sure that these memories are fuzzy.

But you stare back at me.
With a wound slightly opened.
And you tell me
“Maybe it’s all just really in your head”

That doesn’t help.

People keep asking me
"What do you want your life to look like in five years?"

they always cringe when I say
"I just want to fight long enough to open my eyes tomorrow morning."

I just want some calm.
But my body won't allow it.
The strain of this life
threatens to pull me apart
like a worn piece of paper.

All I can do
is take a deep breath
and pray
I can keep things together
just a little longer.

By. Lauren

I do not want to be depressed.
Mom I am trying.
I can not keep apologizing.
I took the blade to my own skin it was not a demon from god.
I'm just trying.
Mom will you listen!?
I can not apologize.
Mom I do not believe.
Why must you say that I brought this upon myself?
Mom god did not send me a devil.
You can not drown my depression in a sea of Jesus.
Mom I brought this upon myself it is all my own mind.
Mom I can not believe.
Not in a god you claim made me this way.
Mom.
I do not want to be depressed.
I just want to be me.
To be free.
Not free from a demon
But free from me.