the scent of her sweat
cigarette ash on my skin
she says, "don't forget."
as she whispers to my ear
the story of how we met

I tell you
That my memory is hazy.

I tell you that perhaps it’s my head that made sure that these memories are fuzzy.

But you stare back at me.
With a wound slightly opened.
And you tell me
“Maybe it’s all just really in your head”

That doesn’t help.

People keep asking me
"What do you want your life to look like in five years?"

they always cringe when I say
"I just want to fight long enough to open my eyes tomorrow morning."

I just want some calm.
But my body won't allow it.
The strain of this life
threatens to pull me apart
like a worn piece of paper.

All I can do
is take a deep breath
and pray
I can keep things together
just a little longer.

By. Lauren

I do not want to be depressed.
Mom I am trying.
I can not keep apologizing.
I took the blade to my own skin it was not a demon from god.
I'm just trying.
Mom will you listen!?
I can not apologize.
Mom I do not believe.
Why must you say that I brought this upon myself?
Mom god did not send me a devil.
You can not drown my depression in a sea of Jesus.
Mom I brought this upon myself it is all my own mind.
Mom I can not believe.
Not in a god you claim made me this way.
Mom.
I do not want to be depressed.
I just want to be me.
To be free.
Not free from a demon
But free from me.

He was a stranger,
a man unknown.

He became a companion,
turned into lover.

His only failure came unexpected,
a secret discovered.

He was a stranger,
a man uncovered.

i wrote you letters
that you'll never see
i've written letters
that you don't know existed
from reasons why i love you
to daily letters of how much i miss you
it's not much of a secret letter
since it was sent out to you
but i'm unsure
if you will ever see them
so i'll call them secret letters
because you are not aware of it
and maybe will never know