To The Fall of Loneliness:
To waking up in tshirts too big for you in beds that belong to other people whose names you cannot remember, to adding a person onto your body count before adding them as a contact into your phone (if you ever do at all), to starving yourself to look your best for them, to sneaking out at midnight, to getting drunk in bars and ruining city hotel rooms, to the asthma attacks from their smoke, to the tension filled stares, to sleepless nights tangled in the arms of strangers, to trying to fill the void with whatever flesh and lust you can grab onto
To The Winter of New Beginnings:
To deleting the dating apps, to walking up behind him and seeing his galaxy blue eyes look into yours, to arcade games and flashing lights, to bookstore dates and coffee shops, to the smell of the acid in the air as you both stood in the rain laughing, to movie theaters every week, to finding every reason to see each other, to not being able to get enough of each other, to sweet forehead kisses and longing stares, to the beginning of something life changing
To The Spring of Falling In Love:
To the hour long phone calls where you talk about your day, to the pictures of you laughing and kissing and being full of contentment, to the nights falling asleep on his chest, to the coffees he would bring to your work on your hard days, to the grocery shopping dates, to the week long sleepovers, to the car rides where he would sing to you, to tracing “I love you” on his skin until you got the strength to say it, to meeting his friends and becoming part of the group, to feeling like you finally belong, to the whispers of forever
To The Summer of Heartbreak:
To the shaking hands and the shallow pit, to rereading the old texts, to sleeping in his shirt since it’s all you have left of him, to the texts you type out over and over again but never send, to accidentally taking the exit to his house day after day after day, to the nights you wake up screaming his name, to the unanswered questions, to the mascara stained pillowcase, to ordering his favorite things before realizing he’s not yours anymore, to breakdowns and miscommunications, to the weeks without eating, to the begging for him back, to the realization that he no longer cares, to crying endlessly, to the days you can’t get out of bed, to hating yourself for your mistake, to wanting to fix it, to wishing you could fill this void with whatever flesh and lust is available to grab onto