My mind is stuck in this middle ground
it's stuck in a fragment of wasted time
Digestible, but still too big for this tiny heart of mine
They tell me I've got a big heart, bright and warm it is..
but my secret life is my private life and it's not for the public
because I...
never know when I'll do something stupid
I never know when I'll change my mind
if happiness is worth all this confusion,
then I don't want him to be mine
if family is stronger than gold
if blood is always thicker than water
then I don't want to be my next victim,
I don't want to be Love's daughter

Yet I know I'm always going to want him
his style, his smile, it's worth every penny of throwing everything away
His soul and his mind make me crave everything
everything he has..
Yet here I am, just a caged bird,
I sing the only song that only my captor holds
He spoils me, with everything he has
except the rolling green hills and the blue skies that Juden has

And if all this confusion is worth all this pain,
I don't want to be blamed for being the cause of this game
I only want to hear Juden's laughter
even if it means I'm not Love's daughter

As I lay me down,
To feel
the shape I'm in.

As I wonder what went wrong
To put my body
in this hell,
of being.

My thoughts are as clear- now
As my fogg filled mind- now

Can't remember -anything
As it all blends- together
In time.
Can't call heads or tales.
On a double sided dime
Called life.

To equal not a thing,
If nothing, is something.
Then that must be, what I have.
Is time, not to equal a thing.

Help me from this hell,
Please help me find salvation.
Guard me tonight,
God,
Please help me find safety.
Help me see some light.
(Just a glimmer, a sign)

Challenged-
are my complexed thoughts.
To live,
under this control.
This-
my everymove.
Round and round,
We go.

Like a mad crazed- carni
Are my emotions,
anymore-
Round and round
dizzying,
Till I can't stand- no more.

I am the puppet,
my nerves, your strings
Pulling and tugging
With-
the pain you bring.

Tearing and shredding
all, my dreams.
I am at the mercy of this,
Un-named, disease.

You give me no choice,
But to lie.
Trying to deceive.
Pretending life is pretty,
With the ugliness in hate
That you breed.

Yhe enemy now lives,
where my soul use to be.
Pulling at my hearts
Very fragile strings.

Fighting to be brave.
Fighting to be saved.
To pray away,
All the pain.

I pray,
each day.
Praying, to stay sane.
Praying, everyday.
To my God,
I plea, show me the way.

Help me please,
get out of this hell!
Reverse to good,
This horrible spell.

Help me please.
Please God, help me,
Find my salvation,
Please God, I plea.

Guard my soul tonight,
God help, find salvation.
Please help me, I plea.
Guide me safe, to my light.

Invisible you may be to,
so many.
Sneaking into others,
with unfamiliarity.

Changing their lives.
Turning them upside down.
unsuspecting, without a choice,
until
One day when you are found.

The shape I am in.
With,
My mind worn thin.
This pain aches, in my heart.
Is where all the weakness
Does start.

God help me,
Guide my thoughts,
through the night.
Let me feel you, in me
Let me,
know it's alright.

Death isn't where we lay
Yet, is where we are born
As I lay in silence
Breaking  the silence
You heard, in your mind
One to many times
Silently our memory screams
Never to be heard,
until it is too late
Until,
the echoe from all the silence
Screams so loud
that our ears bleed
Until the echoe of that silence
Is heard,
Until,
it is free
Until,
it breaks the chains of silence
Until,
its soul breaks free
Until

The sky was as clear, as a poets  dark thoughts.
Like the rain to its cloud,
His thoughts only to be released in time.
Once the sunshine has refused to light the sky.
Only to battle the darkened cages where these thoughts lie.
These cages, we call clouds.
Once the sunshine, stands to defend darkness.
Melting these thoughts to rain, letting them fall free and speak bravely.
Once our trees soil has strengthened through truth.
Once the flowers have powered their way through stone.
Once we all have seen, then we may believe.
The power inside, the power learnt from failure, from disappointment from learning to accept all our faults.
Learning to work on our hardest of roads.
Learning with the true power,
of our own inner strength.
Learning all, is but a arms length away.

We were once mountains
Standing tall, standing proud.
Mountains of great girth and of great pride.
We were once, the top of this world.
Landmarks, conquest, tourist attractions.
We were once as tall as the clouds.
And where safety , for the Eagles home.
We were once.

We were once, great boulders of strength and of size.
We were once great boulders hanging on for life.
We were once in the mids of this world.
Added beauty and charm to the mountains side.
Became steps to help others achieve their  goals, became hidding spots for smaller animals to hid from their prey.
We were once great boulders.
Relatable, reachable and visable.
We were once.

We were once rocks, that have fallen from the highest of peaks.
Rocks that have been broken, slammed, stepped on to help you achieve.
Rocks that made up the lower grounds of a stream.
Planted, stacked and buried
As a bridge for your feet,
To keep you dry.
We were once rocks.
Used as a grip for your boots, to keep you safe.
As a path to guide you, to all that you achieve.
As caverns for the minnow and his family.
As a safe haven from the piranha.
We were once.

We were once dust
The wearing,
the fragile truth.
Looked upon as not a thing.
We were once.
We are once.
Once
We are all dust.
Once,
We are all the beginning.
Once,
We are all,  the foundation.
Once,
We can see, we are all needed
Once,
We can hear, we are all our own strength.
Once we accept,  all for who they are, all of what we can be.
Once,
We see truth and strength
In unity.
All is just as import to building a powerful mountain.
Once,
All this,
Then, this rocks dust can rebuild
His majestics mountain of strength.

You are my drug
I keep coming for more
Your the only thing
that gets me high
Your love's my addiction
Swiming through my veins
You are my blood
Whisky and pills
Are your kisses and hugs
You are the whisky
In my water bottle
The bass, in my song
The light on my lifes
Disco floor
Dance with me
Hold my hand
Intoxicate me
Never let me down
I can't ever get you out of my mind
I crawl to get to you everynight
Your the only one who can take away these shakes
The only one who lets me hide
My mistakes
Take me for who I am
I need you tonight
I need my high, my fix
My new drug, my you.

Like  a
river   flows
so   effortlessly -
all   of   the   things
I     love    about    you        
slip    between    my    lips
& straight into your heart

                                                                ­    I'm sorry,
The moon is beginning to shine
                                                           ­         bright
It's provoking my
                                                              ­      thoughts
I'm starting to
                               t                                    slip
My hopes   f         a
                       l o                                         away