I wish I knew how to feel ten times bigger than myself
but I get so lost in the swarm that is me, that is inside of me
this being and entity that I am sometimes too out of touch with
and sometimes I can't separate myself from
I need to feel you, I need to feel that you feel me and I need to know that you see me
but I can't even see myself
can't even fix myself

I get so lost in the sadness that comes from constant failure and I lose touch with all the love that surrounds me
animals who loves me, the man who loves me

I want a man who tells me he needs his girl
you always need your girl
I love you so much
I love you so much for wanting me
I feel like you love me despite of who I am, how I am, who I am, how I am....
what separates my actions from who I am as a person, as a partner?

I may forget everything else, but I will never forget my love for you
I will never forget the pain that comes from just the thought of losing you
I want this to work, I want to work, I want to make this work
I can't' lose myself, but I myself am lost
I can't lose this, I can't lose you
what am I to do?
Where will we be in ten years time, will we love each other still or will our frustrations stopped our hearts from feeling the love despite what we are together?
I want you to love me for who I am, I need you to love me for who I am
not despite who I am...
I need to love me for who I am
not despite who I am

Dangerous convictions take such long walks
and change so much after simple talks
I'm overwhelmed when my mind's unkind
but I'm healthy in my body and my mind

Tell me what's good and how to abstain
but going backwards is not my game
I don't need you to tell me what is real and whats not
Im hid from it all and I don't have no thoughts

Spacious in here, inside my mind
Don't tell me what to do cause you'll just waste my time

here i can stay till the end of my time
but don't worry..
I'm healthy in my body and my mind

What do you do when you're all out of time
But it's all you can do to not lose your mind

Say what do you know as you take some to unwind i
Why don't you sit down and we'll do another line
Cause I'm healthy in my body and my mind

People's advice when they pretend that they know
All you can think is how they put on a show

Do you really know what it is to be sane?
I can't remember my own name
you tell me what to do and you tell me you won't
you say i remember what you don't

I force my memory to stay the same
cause you can't tell me what you can't explain
Can't count how many times ive cried
But I'm healthy in my body and my mind

Oh, I don't know what it is
Can't place it
The man wants to stay so I erase him
Left so often at the foot of his bed
Crumpled up with his sheets the morning after

Oh, I was so bitter
but I am better now

You might have seen me, I was trying
But don't you see that I was sliding,
down that spiral, I was dying
Left so often so wide open
Got it together just the same!
I didn't let you board my train

Oh, I was so bitter
but I am better now

You may have had me in your pocket
You may have broken into me
Left so often so wide open
Got it together just the same!
I didn't let you board my train

Leap to see where they bring you when you do exactly what everyone does
Go to see where the bronzed and shiny, the blonde and skinny, the buff and the beautiful, the catchy things sleep here, it's all about the trend and the he said this she said that magazines plastering a wallpaper of celebs and what's-hot on the interior walls structuring my mind
do they feed on your self confidence too?
They crush youth and make believe that caring will be the death of them, that a soul gets ripped free of it's shackles everytime something genuine and real happens, something naked and imperfect, something totally weird and not what you'd say is the norm, here now, won't you see me as I am? It's progressive to be a little bit different now?
What else do they say to you when you are breathless and sighing on the ground- we all see when things are wrong, but everyone here is so small when the big man wants their money and their cars and things, it's easier to have nothing but the stuff that is shoved down our throats has become something everyone needs.

My shattered brow is not wilted by the weight of disgust and I am lifted from agony

I will lift you out of yours.
Nothing is forever, but pain never heals
It can make some stronger
and for some, the cracks only get wider

This passion that escapes me radiates outwards like a Mandala
and it reminds me not to forget,
but to let it go

I feel the words that will pour down from the lips,
and they will be beautiful once again.


Experience is always behind you,
take it away, take it away

I can hear the shadow come
living amoung our tainted hearts
it will sink into your mind
attracted to all of these damaged parts

when you see this simple start
to a tragic end that's yet to come
you must fight with all your might
you time has yet to come

when you stare into the empty mist
can you see yourself in the headlight?
it pulls you into it so you are lost
you are lost

why oh why can't you recognize
when your heart is not your own
it gets so hard to realize
when it seeps into your bones

I think I've lost my tragic end
I see a light now but it's warm and bright
this ancient recipe for pain and gain
will only see you through for a small part

The rest is up to you
when you start to see
It kills you from the bottom up
It can't be hard to see
sitting there right in front of you
can't be hard to see


why oh why can't you recognize
when your heart is not your own
it gets so hard to realize
when it seeps into your bones

I know I see you sitting there
but you are not alone
your mind is filled with such despair
you are not alone

I cry- and you hear
and you tell me it's an act
am I an actress
in a movie?
Should I know these lines?