She stopped eating until she was nothing but right angles and sharp edges. It was if she couldn’t understand the math of the world she lived in, so she sought the neat geometry of the curve of her hollowed hips, the bend of her wishbone elbow, and the measurements of her rag doll ankles.

a garden fence of wooden slats
giant poppies bloom and fill the gaps
brightest petals, orange

white birds of summer  
will mend, with twine and twig
windy nests of a northern winter

today, only an indigo sea
of lavender bees, will hum
like gold, beneath the sun

no frowning clouds will come
only morning glory flowers will bloom
blue as sky, blue as heaven

She is still with me,
I hold her each dying day—
Creases on photos.

The river’s edge
Cutthroats and you
Nails on backbone
It’s nearly two

Eyelashes bristle
I’m spilling my wine
The pathway’s black
I’m wasting my time

You said you’d be good
You called me away
You said that I should
Stop feeling this way

As the river spins gold
My stomach is turning

As my fingers grow cold
The horizon is burning

It was the way your body drifted closer to mine
Again and again
I became aware of the veins in your wrists
The blood
The rhythmic pulse of your eyelashes
The ragged cream of your skin
I knew this couldn't be action
No, this was a reflex
But I didn't care
I was awake

Optional is not an option anymore.
I will roam
and I will writhe.
I will rally, rebuild.
I will pave a road,
I'll launch a ship.
I'll race a train, I'll run like hell.
I'll **** the marrow from my spine.
I'll hold my head above the moon.
I'll dive in the deep, I'll chase a bullet.
I'll wander out,
I'll slide away.
I'll lead an army and bomb the past.
Declare unrest and start new rule.
Crown a new king,
I'll carve a new stone.
I'll turn a new leaf and I'll sing a new song.
I'll make a new wish
And I'll burn a new bush.
I'll write a new page
And jump in with both feet.
I'll love a new lover
And befriend whom you hate.
I'll start a campaign.
I'll torch down our home.
Then move heaven and earth one inch to the left.
I'll shake. I'll regroup.
I'll push and I'll ****.
Reincarnate
Regurgitate.
I'll weave... I will tide.
I'll bend, and I'll bob, and I'll steal,
*I WILL TAKE! *
Because optional's not an option...
Anymore.

Sahn   6/8/14