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Delia Darling Sep 2018
It's hard to talk about it to happy people
With pretty sounds of poetry
Or talk about it at all, really

'Cause how could you put in words
The science of "sad girl" warnings
Or that feeling of regret
That I woke up this morning

Honestly, I just wanted to feel nothing
In spite of this sick espirit

A disphoria so ingrained in the flesh,
Only death could set you free.
Delia Darling Sep 2018
She's going to make it
Lost a lot of blood...
High alcohol level
Ten minutes away
She's okay, she's okay
Losing her fast
She's gonna make it!
My head is reeling
Dear god, the world is on it's back
Stop panicking— it's only blood
No, I don't want an IV
It's okay, I'm okay
Don't give me an IV
Don't touch me, I said no!

Fears digress to slurred vocabulary
Over and over
"Am I broke? Am I broke now?"
Yah i don't like IVs...
Delia Darling Sep 2018
The one who gave me a heated blanket
While switching it out every so often
Covering my wounds with caution

The one who gave me water
All concerned about me,
Like I was her daughter

The one who gave me slippers to keep
So I don't leave with naked feet
(and wouldn't take no as an answer)

Who's soft eyes held no accusation
Blinding those with which
My thoughts held in possession—
That'd say I ******* up once again

These people cared about me
A lot more than I did
Gave me a kindness that
I had never yet tasted
A loving memory between strangers
For the rest of my life, I'll never waste it

With the sincerest of wishes,
Bless all you nurses out there
I **** at writing cheesy poetry.. eh oh well
Delia Darling Sep 2018
In the midst of these words I write
It so happened upon me
A silver sight of flickered light
Appeared in space and sea
First star, so pure and bright
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have less thoughts to think at night...
Delia Darling Sep 2018
As I stand here, outside my work building
stealing a smoke break
I wonder about God and the universe
and how much happier it makes me feel
to believe in other things

That the sun was a running man
chasing the stars in that endless black
run man
run fast
run free
but freedom only gets you
slipping and sliding in circular leaps
around our earth, almost like
a clumsy mouse in a stationary wheel
and these sneaky stars
always one step ahead at sunrise
or at his heels in sunset

My mom’s a Catholic woman
she won’t believe in the running man
her stars are not stars, no
her stars are rosaries in purses and
priest’s words
taught words
holy words
but holy words are also
human words, are they not?
It never made sense to me
that a person could live their whole life
repenting it

But then again,
my dad used to have me work in our yard,
picking the weeds outside
and he let me treasure them in a vase
he never called them weeds,
they were always
wishing flowers
but wild only gets you
believing in the sun and
keeping shrubs in vases
All of which suit me, because

In the lonely nights of endless black,
I have the company of my own stars
and when holy words of weeds fall back
I remember that—
wild humans are only wildflowers
Just some random thoughts induced by an insignificant smoke break
Delia Darling Jul 2018
I wear my smile like I wear my tattoo
Subtle & cute, and
Covering something
That ******* gave me
Delia Darling Jul 2018
I feel sick in my soul
Sour aftertaste of my inner thoughts
Chase it down with some Heineken
Then sleep till morning breath
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