Sometimes
You can be surrounded by people
And still feel lonely
…
Sometimes
You can be with people you love
And still feel lonely
…
I just
am

I'm crying for help but silence is what they see
Smiling but the wounds are too deep
Do you see the pain?
Everyone's shoulder... but where's his?
They say he's such a nice kid
Give him an Oscar he earned it
He's putting on a grade A performance
Playing the role but never playing himself
It's a cold world when you're in it by yourself

The only part of my day
That I look forward to
Is when I go to bed
And lay there making up scenarios
In my head.

I think of comebacks
To 8th grade bullies.
I think of witty retorts
To my mother's snide comments.
I think of intelligent things to add
To conversations I had months ago.

I think of all the things
I was too scared to say.

And in my mind
I say them.
And pretend how things would be different
If only I had the courage to speak.

Depression isn't when you know
That everything around you
Is going wrong
and you feel sad,
Depression is when you know
That everything around you
Is going right
And you still feel you sad.

My confusion troubles me
My wondering depresses me
And my knowledge grows heavily
And the icing on that cake is everything I hate about me

I'll sing of all the ways I miss you
and how this sorrow came to be
the verses, lies I should have whispered
the chorus, truths in harmony.

The melody will break the silence
and call your broken heart to me
to be repaired by love unyielding
to broken hymns in minor key.

I look in the mirror
And all I see now are
Black holes threatening to
Swallow my red-rimmed eyes.

I never moved with grace
But my body tremors
More than it ever did,
Thinking of unseen fears.

I reach with my fingers
Towards my old reflection
To discover the tips
Are now cracked and bleeding.

Hollow shell, hollow shell.
I am losing myself.
Every step that I take
Destroys my sanity.