I have learned
Disturbingly
To settle into fear, like an old house settles on its foundation
Sinking by the year.
It used to rise me-
It used to pick me up and batter me
Like the surf batters stones on the ocean floor
Tossing them and beating them upon the rocks.
Now, like an anchor or a shipwreck I...
Settle.
I stay, hard and heavy and dark
Pinned in place and dully aware
Dully waiting--
For a storm to send down debris,
Or the sun to lance through the waves and touch my cold face.
I settle.
I am here, in fear,
I am here
And I am tired
And I refuse to use my strength to struggle in my nets.
Instead, I sleep. I wait. I
Settle.

Don't worry
about those who
talk about you
behind your back


they're behind you
for a
reason

The Great Red Spot
Gracing Jupiter's surface
Beautiful and intriguing from the outside
And a whirlwind within

Drink a clock and combine with time
Be once again a work of art
Doesn't it feel so sublime
The world around you falls apart
But you're a timeless interjection
A gear within a counterpart
A ripple in a lake's reflection
A defibrillator to my heart
Your mind is transcendent yet you're here
A physical reminder of the rest
The world is not as it appears
That's why I'll give you all my best

Retrograde beauty
Sparkling, smiling down at Earth
As dusk falls and fireflies illuminate our own planet
She shines even more brightly
Despite the pressure
And despite the sulfur
Her terrestrial surface gleams
Having no moons
She's a solo entity
But our sister
She circles the same violent ball of heat
As heliocentric
As we

A staccato accordion
Chimes merrily as the spotlight turns
In the star-ridden distance
I can hear The Entertainer
It's out of tune - but a jack-in-the-box jingle
Doesn't carry well in the wind
The Ferris wheel has stopped
But the passengers are unaware
Their gypsy laughs and joyous shrieks
Loop carelessly around the air
Whimsical men in gargantuan top hats
Guessing weights and handing out sugar
Decorated elephants and dilapidated circus tents
Circle a trapeze artist as he wows onlookers
It's warm out here
But there's a chill
Something ominous
A sound that's shrill
It could just be a ride that needs to be fixed

I love you
And that's the problem
I will eventually hurt you
I will disappoint you
I will make you cry
It's not that I mean to
It's truly an accident
Love causes pain
That's why I wanted to tell you
I'm Sorry
Even if I haven't hurt you yet
I eventually will

How you made me forget the hardships that were ahead.
But god only knows what life would be like for me if you were truly here.
I love you.
But hate you.
Its a love hate thing.
It has been that way since the day I admitted to myself how much I truly love you.
Honestly it scares me.
Somebody asked me today what my greatest weakness was.
My dear it was you.

Tilting at butterfly windmills
in Parisian blown breezes
As gazelles seductively sway
to the melting light of night

Feeling her nocturnal whispers
puppy's secrets in child's ear
While white petals gently escape
eternal maternal bouquets

Pondering morphed realities
from verdant citrus cocoons
Long after jazz laden teardrops
muddled cinco de mayo