Picking petals
Pretending to be pleased s
At the growing pile of no's
Not once was a yes given
I lie to myself,
Thinking it was just a coincidence
That every petal I plucked
Was adding to the belief
Of the possible
I went through a whole garden
Of roses and daisies and petunias,
Found the last flower
And was sure that this time,

This time,

The impossible would finally
Become not

One by one the petals
Fell to my feet,
And as each petal was lost
A piece of my heart
Left with it

I was sure this time
That he loved me
.
.
.
Not

I woke up feeling frustrated today
a part of me just exploded
I couldn't figure out what the hell was wrong with me
so I freaked out and cried
I wouldn't let anyone be there for me
I just wanted to be left alone
As I went for a walk for six hours straight
I didn't even pick up my phone
People get mad at me because they can't understand me
not even my Mother does
The way I act, the things I wear
I do just because
I don't go out to impress anyone
if anything people should impress me
I don't let others in so easily
so thank your lucky stars if you know me
I'm not hear to make things easier for others
I'm a challenge you can't stand
I'm intimidating for a reason
I don't let any guy just hold my hand
I woke up in a very ******* mood
it happens from time to time
If you can't handle me at my worst
then your not a good friend of mine.

Don't know if I believe in god
But sometimes I pray
Because the way I was raised
Keeps me afraid

A scientist that has to have his way
I subsist of a steady diet of shame

I hope I can forgive me
For having the nerve to exist
I hope someone can help me
Make some sense of this

I work a ten hour grave
From nine to seven
And I can't fall asleep
Until eleven past eleven

There's no drug that I can take
That will keep me from being awake
Past my, past my bedtime

Truckers are the blood in the veins of the body of America
States are the arms and the legs and the brains and the eyes
There's a disease spreading from ***** to *****
And you are the white blood cell that fixes the problem

You don't know your own power
You don't know what you're worth
You don't recognize your valor
And until you do, nothing you do will matter