Moved on to a better place
Found peace in the fallows
That dug knee deep in shadow
Living in darkness has become a crime
But I was so used to doing time
Caged liberty is no man’s dream
My dream is to die and pass on to a different time.

Days feel like months and months feel like years but alas,
only minutes have passed
and I’m still in today
and tomorrow is yet to pass.
But I have tried to move on and be free
I have tried to be better than I am today than I was yesterday
But this war unto myself
Has only ruined me.
I don’t know when the wait will end
I don’t know when my life will begin
But if life is to begin then it can begin again tomorrow
But that’s not the point
That’s not what the wait is for.
I’m waiting to be free
To be unburdened from life’s destiny
I wish to move on to a clear beginning
But to begin again, means an end is to come
So I’m stuck in this endless spiral that goes nor up nor down
Just moves in rotation to complete this circle
But always begins again for me.

Got up early, had a coffee
The vanilla in it makes me feel alive,
One sip a taste of wonder
Why when it’s forbidden I take it as a treat
It is bittersweet

Used and abused, I am worn
I stay here then I am thrown
Dethroned from the table where once I sat
Now I am just a rag to pat the poo
And that’s a fact.

Flowers are set to bloom
And it’s no longer doom
For I have my favourite human by my side
It is the best kind of ride.
 
The bird calls at night and day
Signalling for spring on its way
And with spring comes a new beginning  
A beginning from far away.

How lucky is my cat
Always tranquil, always sleeping
No worries of the world seeping
I am worried I have to write this story
About war and its glory
But I am just a girl who likes fiction,
Why is there so much friction?
I don’t want to understand the lessons of the war,
I don’t care about it,
What was it even for?
Going against the tide the book said,
But I like going with the flow
Breaking bounds and ceilings
With my believings
And a will to learn and live
Through life and its lessons
Not through going against my feelings.

Stay caught up till June
I’ve made up my mind now it’s doom
Feeling scared and lost
Is it my life or my soul that it’ll cost
To be untangled
But I can’t let it stay mangled
I want to leave it now
Come back morrow noon
When it will be the first of the full moon
Of august the first
But by then the deal will be sealed
I will have new work and old pieces to sew
I will have fresh scars to heal
I’m not ready, I’m not confident it seems
This light in my eyes is dull it never beams
Lost to the tribe, lost to the ethics and conspiracies
Can’t find my way out even with different loopholes and currencies
Leaving away is not the same as being free
When I’m tethered  to this city
It’s by lanes and pity
Of what people will say
Will they watch me when I flay
Their concerns are disconcerting
They don’t have the right pieces of my heart
They are just pulling strings from my art.
Stuck in a loop again here we go
Another year of breakdowns and broken bones
Is there a way out my head is spinning
I want to get down of this merry go round
I want to move straight and not be caught up in life’s down turning.