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Filomena Rocca Mar 2022
The mage with her sage
was cleaning her cage
imagining tragedy's
angels engage

She erected a sigil
protecting her vigil
a palindrome had in Rome
angst to assuage

As she brought out her cards
she thought of the bards
had her spirit inherited
some of their ways?


When she put them away
she had cart loads to say
and the guides of her writing
stayed by her for days!
Late evening Thu. Mar. 3, 2022.
This more optimistic version was written immediately after the first.
So mote it be!
Filomena Rocca Feb 2022
You can't erase your face.
You can't retrace or displace
the lines you dislike.
Some people try. Why?
At best it makes a mess.

Why am I upset by a little extra bone?
The external effects of my natural testosterone?
How can a bit of unwanted hair excite despair?
Why do I care?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I pointlessly worry
about silly points
like the size of my shoulders
or my knee and thumb joints.
My hairline, my brow ridge,
the shape of my nose,
my masculine pelvis,
my crooked man toes...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My eyes are fine --
My only feature I like.
My shy smile is alright
but not too wide
'cause of my overbite --
-- the size of those incisors!

Now, some would say that I'm just vain,
so self-obsessed I've gone insane.
But I would say that's how we're trained,
At least in this day and age.

Others might paint me like Dorian Gray
praying to Satan for youth to stay,
but I just wish it hadn't gone this way.

Why would you keep your looks immutable
if you were never to begin with beautiful?
Nov. 2018 - Feb. 2022
I wrote most of this poem from a pre-transition perspective.
My circumstances and perspective have changed a fair bit.
I tried to emulate the original perspective in my later additions.
Filomena Rocca Feb 2022
He said,
Now please attend
My praying class,
But don't offend
By playing crass!

I heard
A Crashing Cymbal,
Sounding Brass,
A Blasting Wind,
A Braying ***.

In the end,
Despite the way
The teacher tried,
I still remain
Unedified.
A Pauline reference.
Written Feb. 26, 2022.
Augmented and edited the following day.
Filomena Rocca Feb 2022
******* hell
stuck in gel
down a well
brownstone shell

jumbled brain
tumbling train
mumbling rain
crumb of pain

ghastly face
nasty trace
silent pace
file in place

all a game
act the same
feel no shame
killing name
Late Feb. 2022
Filomena Rocca Feb 2022
There's an addict in the attic,
and a trans girl in the tub;
There's an immigrant, Hispanic,
and a criminal in love.

There's a shaman burning incense,
and a gamer taking shots;
There's our upperclass equivalent,
and a noisy group of thots.

And the lady takes our livelihood
and somehow still stays poor,
so please make sure the lights are out,
and always lock the door.
Sat. Feb. 26, 2022
One word has been censored.
Filomena Rocca Feb 2022
ouch! that hurts my heart
I guess you didn't mean it
sorry, nevermind.
A common thought process when I feel insulted.
Filomena Rocca Feb 2022
I like you a lot.
I'm glad that we met.
I'm always happy to see you...

I worry it's hard
to deal with my ****
and still want me to be near you...

I feel really lucky.
It seems so unlikely
you'd see me as endearing...

But like air on a flame
when you call me by name
my heart lifts at the hearing.
For someone special.
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