One
I hate myself.
Two
I'm scared to sleep at night because whenever I close my eyes it's as if the ruthless words of hatred and disgust that you throw at me relentlessly replay over and over in my head as if it was a broken record perched on the top of a dusty shelf that isn't within a reachable distance.
Three*
I don't know who I am anymore. I lost her somewhere within this sea of sadness I plunged myself into.
Four
Fat, Ugly, Worthless. Fat, Ugly, Worthless. Fat, Ugly, Worthless.* These are the words that taunt me everyday and latch onto me like a bloodthirsty leech that just found a new piece of flesh to feed off of.
Five
Whenever somebody tells me to be who I am and that they won't judge. I laugh. I laugh because being who I am is just a distant memory. I cant be who I am because I lost when I skipped my first meal. I lost who I was when I learned what it felt like to genuinely hate myself. I lost myself when I learned how to numb myself so that I feel nothing at all. Now here I am in present time, curled up in a ball of my own self pity, crying out all the feelings I wish I had.
Six
Somedays, I wish I could find the me that loves me, but I can't because the horrid words that you uttered to me stabbed her over and over again relentlessly and when you finally walked away, she stood there bleeding out all the love and trust she used to have.
Seven
I hate telling people how I really feel because they take it as a yearning for attention, not a cry for help. I hate telling people how I feel because they would treat me as if I was a problem and not a human.
Eight
I just wish that someone would paint on me as if I were a blank canvas and turn me into something magnificent because I am tired of continuously painting
myself in hopes that my tear-stained cheeks, lifeless eyes, and pain will turn me into the beautiful girl society expects me to be.
Nine
I just wish I was normal.

-b.c.

I once knew a boy, who fell in love with a girl,
Who smiled the thought of her name.
I once knew a girl, who fell in love with a boy,
Who felt the very same.

But it became a struggle, and timing was wrong,
And love decide they didn't belong.
Oh my, what a terrible fate!
To bid goodbye and walk away.

After many years they meet again
He knows their love is worth the climb,
But the poor little girl is afraid of heights,
And leave the boy hanging behind.

Ice cream cascades lazily
Down the throat
A hot cold assault
On the throat’s walls
This after a heavy hearty meal.

I can only honor
the woman that sat next to
her husband on the day of his death.
She held the only rose bouquet she's received from admirers.
Blood-stained rose petals sat in her lap.
I can only honor
the woman who stayed
with her dying husband.
She whispered, I love you
in a pleading voice,
wanting him to stay,
to come back home.
I can only honor
the woman who kissed her husband's lips
for the last time,
knowing she'd never get to touch him,
to kiss him,
to wake up to him,
to see him
ever again.
I can only honor
the woman who did not leave her husband's side
on the day he died.
I can only honor
the woman who held on
with such bravery.