If all is lost to fire tomorrow,
I shall remember life as this:
that my saving grace in life's decisions,
were those moments spent smoking
and watching the weeds break through
the whitewashed wall.

Upon this my heart's contusion,
edge of a blunted knife,
when I work my lungs for air,
I do so without life.

And I will faint at the future,
with all its awful stare,
for the lack of my autonomy,
knowing you'll not be there.

I will miss you in the morning,
but more so at night,
when I enter dreams without you,
I enter without sight.

Forever ago,
               maybe,
I had done this before,
                            but growing up had pushed it aside,
      disregarded it as child’s play.

           Yet somehow as I listened
           to the rain
                        pounding against the auditorium roof,
the child in me
               awakened
                     and now I stand
                     breathless,
with my pant legs soaked, as
          he looks at me
                     and laughs
                              and takes my hand to walk me
                              to the dry and warm.
But before we step onto the sidewalk,
              as we linger there in the parking lot
in the swirling space between young and old,
       I can see us years ago
as 8 year olds dashing through nightfall
          to splash ourselves
joyously
               as we did tonight.  
   And for all the maturity I pretend to have,
             my soul sheds a  
                 raindrop tear
for the simple happiness

                                                            I have lost.

Your beauty is to me,
nothing but an old, golden coffin,
Buried in the sea.
Your mind is to me,
A phoenix that had been imprisoned by fire,
and it can never gain liberty.
You are to me,
Nothing but an old memory,
That I threw away.
In the darkest corner of my mind, to the right, there's a small locked box.
You belong there
A memory that never tried,
To reach my tongue.
And in the dreamless night,
A whisper broke through my innocent mind,
Killing the memory
And by its death, I remembered
What I shall never forget

I've kept every ticket stub
to every movie
I can't watch now
because you are the face
on the screen
and I thumb through the pile
and as much as you talk about Delpy
or Marling but I don't know
if you ever knew that you
were my real leading lady

He asked
"Are you afraid to die?"
And I just
Shook my head no
I'm afraid of people
Forgetting me
And of getting my tongue
Chopped off while I'm asleep
But I'm not afraid to die
He asked
"Do you believe in God?"
And I just
Shook my head no
I believe in the
Kindness of strangers
And in the ghosts
That haunt my attic
But I don't believe in God
He said
"You must be crazy."
And I just
Shook my head no
And watched him flounder
In his fear and faith