My mind spinning webs inside broken weaves.
My eyes full of black viscous blood.
I know no conscious, I know no filter.
Tonight?
That's alright.
I'm alone.
My head spins relentlessly on a dull point.
It's drunk poetry because it's satire of the personal self.
It's drunk poetry because tonight is the day I said no more.
the night I said,
relax... one more.
it draws me closer to a darkness I portray as the man  in the mirror.
The man that knows himself less than you think.
the boy that thinks himself less than you think
It draws me closer to being quartered by my own mind.
Relax... one more.
Relax
And that's all.
You light weight.

Take a step, breath, pivot with me like clock work invoking strings. Hold my hands like the moments are too long to bare, don't worry, I've got you.    Dip, upside down to the world, showing you new perspectives its my promise, Twirl under the golden cascading lights, to prize and cherish. The dust kicked up from the floor begins to settle, It was merely a man dancing with the shadows in his head.

I've been blinded seven fold by a world that begs for compassion. I have tasted the waters filled with disease, I neglect them. I have heard the gun shots down the street, I haven't raised an ear. I have seen the impunity of brutality on streets I would call home. I've looked away. I do not feel shame. For this, I am sorry. But I can't worry about that right now, not with my own life on the line.

I split my hand open just to watch the anger in me grow.
I tore myself deep inside to watch the boy inside suffer.
I took the time to call you just so that I would cry.
I stood in the doorway to show you how little I wanted to be there.
I could have tried harder, I admit it.
No, that's a honest lie, I couldn't have.

Standing in between two bodies. One is the same and the other I'm not too impressed with. What gives me this lump in my throat is knowing that I may never see either of these two again if I don't choose. I hold each individually. A warm tear rolls down my cheek onto the boy that lay in my arms dying. His red and black jacket that hid his worst fears. His torn jeans I couldn't ever find the time to sew for him. Never finding time to listen to his stupid insecurities.  His breath slowly reaching the point of no more, The feeling of holding back what I need to say to him burns almost as bad as the heart break he faced the day he was left alone.
I hold him close. If only I could have explained to him how stupid he was being. I sat there, I could hear the footsteps. I can feel Myself begin to walk away. And so he lay bloodied and bruised. Alive, but very much dead. I turn to Myself who is already halfway out the door? "Will he be alright?" I ask Myself. Taking a longing look at the boy on the floor.
I couldn't lie to myself anymore. I walked over, my eyes became solid,  no more blue and green with a sense of instability in my nature. Just a solid cold blue. I put my hand on my shoulder with a half ***'d grin. "No,but he's better off dead anyway." I look at the buzzing flies crawling on the boy, the supposed man holding him close. I know i'm only wasting words on a soon to be dead idiot.

I am the temper in your steel
I am the steel in your resolve.
let there be no other like me
and there will be no other like you.
Trust me and I will show you new heights
Betray me and I will let them tear you down.

To the world they left Behind, they sadly bid adieu
To the nights that were kind, they wept away like tears
For the night that swallowed them whole, their thoughts are gone
And with them, their dreams

My memories meddle in forbidden affairs
My eyes reflecting the sheen of the past
I open doors I thought I'd have the strength to close
bleeding hands teach me the lesson of what not to do.
It seems these days that I just can't stop the blood

After a while the road becomes two roads.
We do not have to take one or the other.
We could choose to just sit there and think
The time may pass but take no notice.
As the leaves change colors and die
My glass goes from energy drink to wine
Today is the day I choose left.
Still Rob. I'm sure someday I might wish the other.

Your demons are not mine. But I do not mind.
Your triumphs are not mine. I do not mind.
Even the caustic rope that hangs your tormented mind.
These I have no ownership over.
But I will not stand idly as demons burn and scar your skin
I will not let your name go under rubble
I refuse to let you live a hangman's life.
I don't mind.

If you are to put me in the ground you must **** me
If you are to **** me, you must do it in one hit.
Because if you fail...

My demons dance on barbed wire
My sorrows sing in mellow harmony
My bones rattle to the dance of the necromancy.
My bones dance the macrabe waltz

And there I saw it, the sky fell with burning cinders.
My mind almost speechless
"Oh ****"

I am simply the means to put an end to all my worries

The curve of my body
The shadow that paints my bed and floor. My window tells me the tale of how the rain falls. Sometimes when I listen, It's a sad story. sometimes it's not. Today the rain just fits the scene. My eyes open slowly. My face shunning itself from the light for the sake of dreams. A childhood memory,  That I can't entirely recall. But it's morning now. Time to put that behind me. Time to wake up with the summer rain

"Once more," Richardson said grabbing his hat and throwing it into the air. the  ball cap slid up through the air slicing the light from the moon and stars. The sky clear on a french night. The soft smell of a bakery near by.  All that one could hope for was in a night like this. And as I came back from thought. I could see the corners of my room. holes, beaten and torn. Here I am, lying around. in this **** smelling rat den. Where some coke head chose to go round two with his *****.

Let me regal you with a tale. About brave adventurer's from long ago, That would seize the day as their own. At night they sat by a grotto, it's waters light was on their face shown. Looking up to the night sky. Stars began to fall around them, some. Until they swallowed one whole. Up they awoke to find themselves whole. Never being able to remember the tale

I look out its nice out. But the sun. The sun shines in my lightless room
reminding me of everything I own which is sad, so I frown. But I forget when it leaves, My room goes black, right when the demons come back.

It was that night we slept over at your friends house, when we had a room to ourselves, It was probably the best night I will ever have. A lot of things awoke inside of me. Passion, little lionheart, Curiosity of my self, and feelings I couldn't explain for you. I was still little lionheart, to be honest.  I was scared, I could only take baby steps, afraid of where strides would land. Because At that moment, when you woke up at the dead of night. You grabbed my head from being on your stomach and pulled me up to your heart. You said, "I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me." I replied after a grin, "I still feel your touch in my dreams". We both grinned. "forgive me my weakness but i don't know why, Without you its hard to survive" . belting the last sound at a low moan of tiredness. We laughed,When it went silent, then you lifted my head and kissed me. At the same moment I passed out, I'm pretty sure I wanted to be perfect for you. That's the best I can explain it.

Socks off, shoes thrown away.
No more days away from my kingdom
That where I lay my head may you take
That where I lay my head pray you take
The king has come to tire.
I tire of peasant with swollen foot
Landlord troubles
Beggars of sought
I wish to make kings from the low
I wish to christen each a man of himself
Now please, leave your servant to rest

Today, I killed a man at the cinema. I exhaled softly watching the smoke catch itself on my words. He sits there in his chair. It's a shame it came to this. I guess I didn't have much of a choice. The end of my smoke ignites as I give life to the embers. I exhale softly. The movie continues to play. In honesty if god needed a reason for taking this mans life it was for his taste in movies. A smile escapes my lips at the thought. I pat him on the shoulder, confused he peers behind him and looks at me. I lean in close and reply...
This is the good part. lean back and finish the job. Smoke sticks to the air as I put my cig out in his hair.

When you read this do not do so till you know it by heart.
Do not take such rich words and condemn them to thoughtless actions.
Take each word with its bite in hand and eagerly call upon the beast.
That today was not granted to you but it was seized by you. The moment u decided to open your eyes today you signed a contract. You signed under the clause, "Today is mine, I will take it by the throat. If I am to live today then so be it, If I am to die then it shall be on my own accord. That the will demonstrated today will be the call to my self to resonate within the reflection of my own image. That I will stand up against all odds daring those who stand against me to not do so one by one time.
After all, What is the point of taking on the world, if you expect it to come at you one by one. Your faults will follow you as long as you ask for the handicap. That when you rise to the challenge others will be there to challenge. That the time to act is now. And now does not have a later. You stand at the top of a mountain others wish to own, It is not the competitive nature of life that makes this so but your undying will to carry your loved ones upon your shoulders. Be proud of yourself because sometimes no one will
If you can read this and speak it, Then do it no disrespect and roar!