I hear your heavy footsteps stumbling across the floor again
You've got a can in one hand and a bottle of gin
Your clothes are wrinkled and your hair is a mess
Your eyes are bright red and so ******* lifeless
I would try to help you along
But I've learn from the past that it would be terribly wrong
You'd just push me away and say you're okay
And that I need to worry about how my life is today

Father father for I have sinned- I am not enough for you
Not worthy of your love, or to be anywhere close or near you
I've try to be a doll of a daughter, I've try to sew my lips
I've tried to be the child you want and read from all the scrips
But father father can't you see? The only one you have is me.

When you're mad I can feel the heat
You cuss as storm that can't be beat
Your words are knives and I'm your board
You cut so deep like it's a reward
Because of you my mind is hell
Because of you my confidence fell
One day you'll get what you deserve

Father father for I have sinned- I am not enough for you
Not worthy of your love, or to be anywhere close or near you
I've try to be a doll of a daughter, I've try to sew my lips
I've tried to be the child you want and read from all the scrips
But father father can't you see? The only one you have is me.

This is it, I've come to an ending
I'm sick of your voice and I am done pretending
You ungrateful soul I hope you crash
Maybe then you'll realize my wish at last
How hard is it to do your job
Without drinking and promise breaking?
You've broken my trust by the choices you're making.

Father father for I have sinned- is that what you want me to say?
Your screams make me apologize when things don't go your way.
Im so very sorry when I disappoint you
But father father you're the only one to look up to.

it came to me subconsciously
as i succumbed to my sublimity
a wheel of fortune, i believe
unfortunately, i can't retrieve

but one thing clearly i do recall
"early life" were the words i saw
before life? is that the key?
there is no key, quite possibly

just a ken of surreality...
just a ken of surreality

I miss you like
A dying star
Misses it's light
That once made it shine bright

I miss you like
A newborn
Misses its mother
That cries and shakes in fright

I miss you like
A battered bird
Misses it's young wings
That once let him soar in flight

And I miss you like
An old man
Misses his wife
For it is you that gives this old man
An everlasting life

the black raven
have fresh eyes
that watch
the
wings of night

A fool is he that shares his bed with the fear in his head,
My choices weigh my down, like cement shoes they pull me under the ever rising tide of self-loathing that constantly threatens to drown me.
Why do I feel such hatred for those eyes in the mirror, I can only stare for so long lest the urge to put my head through the reflective pane become too much.
It is a fire.
It burns within me, this anger, this disgust.
The shadows sing quietly so as no one else can hear.
Whisper abuse, taunting,
I am weak, hopeless and predictable,
As always, I rise to the bait.
Shackled, bound, as much a prisoner as any convict rotting behind bars,
I waste away within my mind.
I'll lash out at you!
I will...
Can't stop till I've had my fill,
I starve for blood and my own will do,
I hate that I want to hate you,
I hate that I fall short of the mark,
I hate and I hate and I hate,
Until I'm completely lost in the dark...

I'll **** your demons,
Knowing you can't **** mine,
And when asked if I'm okay,
I'll respond with "I'm fine",
I'm not your burden,
Though I may be your friend,
Put the pressure on and I'll break before I bend.

How long ago
Did you list your priorities?

The small ones,
Like me.
Forgotten at the bottom of the list.

I do understand.
I am only a reflection,
Without purpose,
******* the attention of those around me,
The ones that worry about
Insignificant things.

And stop lying.

You have let go of me,
You haven't let go of the words
Or past.

But of course you let go,
You could barely hold on to
Your own sanity.

I can only hold myself accountable to the crushing feeling I have now.

Foggy lights look like sunrises to me
Enveloped, capsized, just light on the sea
Driving in a world where I see the air
Light has no inhibitions
Light does not care