It feels like being empty
but
you're filled with all the wrong things.
They hurt you,
but
you like them after a while.
They don't fit you
but
you fill them out.
An old outfit. Comfortable. Worn in.
To change is exposure to more of the same
Which
You secretly crave.
To pull on that old self
and disappear
behind the layers.
So complex you don't recognize yourself
when you're outside.
You can't let yourself heal -
Fresh air stings the burns.
When you breathe it in it hisses,
chills your teeth
Relief.
For just a moment
A new hurt.
You stay until the fear of staying is greater than the fear of leaving.