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cosmo naught Jun 2017
the angel on my shoulder
picked up smoking,
the devil on the other
took up yoga—

they don't know
how much they have
in common.
8.7k · Feb 2012
cosmo naught Feb 2012
my favorite part
is, I'm not sure
which of us was trembling;
maybe both.
2.6k · Dec 2013
When We Argue
cosmo naught Dec 2013
use your kiss
as an elixir.

Let its sweetness
the sour taste
my words leave.

Let its softness
knead my neck
and shoulders.

Let its calmness
my rapid thoughts
and breathing.

Let it remind me
I am loved,
and it is you
who loves me.
2.0k · Aug 2013
Here's a Submission For You
cosmo naught Aug 2013
Smooth and sure,
like he shaves with Ockham's razor,
he's knocking on her door
at 2 AM.

What's more
is you'd think that it would phase her,
but she walks right down the stairs
to let him in.
2.0k · Jan 2016
karma is perpendicular
cosmo naught Jan 2016
hope you get the last word and it's famous—
i'll bite my tongue like i'm meaning to taste it.
nothing is sweet as the blood in my teeth
but that i am the fear you are facing,
that i'm still, though, my heart, it is racing:
nothing so sweet as your struggle to speak
when i've told you my only job's waiting.
equal and opposite
2.0k · Aug 2015
cosmo naught Aug 2015
planted in a garden,
with roots tangled.

we share water
while we grow,
and curl our tendrils up together.

when the shovels come,
after birds and bees and sun,
they'll pry us from our ground
inseparably brittle.
cosmo naught Jan 2011
je t'écris les petits mots français
parce que tu les as entendus en anglais.

je veux être la seule femme tu adore;
tu voudrais, tu a besoin d'encore.

mon coeur te connaît bien,
et tu peux l'avoir, si tu le tiens.
if you know any français, je regrette si c'est imparfait :)
1.4k · Nov 2013
Glass Half-Empty Girl
cosmo naught Nov 2013
all of my journals
are graveyards
of half-written things
and half-lived experiences
with half-hearted repentance,
because i can't even commit
to being noncommital.

flipping through them offers
a full representation
of the half-alive girl
who wrote them.
1.3k · Jun 2015
a flashback (or a dream)
cosmo naught Jun 2015
I only see you
in the dreams I fall asleep in:
the daydreams in my nightmares,
right before the darkness creeps in.
Behind a pane I cannot break,
I watch as if I'm wide-awake:
the flashback as I sink
into the deep end.

We meet behind the words
inside our stories.
You lie to me and me to you,
the whole thing is annoying.
"Never so alive!"
will be the vehicle we drive
as we go diving from the cliff
into the quarry.

I thought gravity, for granted,
was to ground me
'til it pulled the seven shores in
all around me.
It was a slight tectonic shift
that pushed my sanity out drifting
into nonsense:
time is tasted, spaces sound.
I am landlocked,
but convinced that I have drowned.
I had a flashback (or a dream)
that when we kissed, I heard your secrets
and they tasted so, so sweet
inside my mouth.
1.1k · Jan 2011
break's up.
cosmo naught Jan 2011
sitting at my job,
back in the lobby corner.
half-an-hour break.

no eyes fixed on me,
mine shift between the patrons,
coworkers, and boss.

when did these people
stop being happy? was there
a single moment?

or did it happen
slowly, creeping in without
much noise or notice?

tired employees,
uniform and all the same,
bleeding, same blank pain.

I have to look at
my blue socks sometimes to think
I'm any different.
1.1k · Sep 2013
Our Alchemy
cosmo naught Sep 2013
The leaf and the petal
Earth elemental
Rich soil
from which spring sprouts spirit.

The honey and metal
Forged in a kettle
Will whistle
for all who will hear it.

They meet in the meadow,
this lady and fellow.
Ignite, and catch flight
on the wind.
Stardust and cinder
from fusion of splendor
return to the ether again.
1.0k · Apr 2013
Slips and Fractures
cosmo naught Apr 2013
On my way from you,
taking the last trip down your steps,
I slipped on ice we'd watched freeze from sheets of sleet,
from sheets of jersey cotton.

I caught myself,
but not before thinking back to that fall evening,
to the warm rain that oiled the top of the stairs across town;
back to when, on my way to you,
I left him
and lost my footing.

Grace aside, these moments
parallel in a way that fissured not bone,
but my psyche--
defining at once
this new she who sought one,
despite she who belonged to another.

Oh, the things she did say,
this foreign half of me,
as, descending your crystal-coated staircase,
she heard herself, for the last time, speak.

We had both fallen so in love with the sound of her voice.

On my way from you,
I caught myself,
and let her, broken, fall.
1.0k · Jun 2015
cosmo naught Jun 2015
"Should we break up?"
(like the universe that, lying, we once worshipped
where I found the wooded field
/you foraged flowers.)

"Is it over?"
(like the night that you mistakenly uncovered and,
unknowingly, addressed my naked fears.)

"Please don't go yet."
(from the back of my old car, we learned to stretch the time and space
to make them ours.)

Should we break up,
(like morning does),
(unlike to lie in bliss, so-laughing)
I'd lose foresight
for my eyes, so full of tears.

repeated branching of dicotyledons into two equal parts with a tendency for secondary growth
1.0k · Jun 2014
cosmo naught Jun 2014
Your eyes
are iron cores
of dying stars.

I collapse
under their gravity.

You consume me,
and spit me out
in millionths.
993 · Mar 2015
cosmo naught Mar 2015
The events that transpired
occured as written.
Our mouths and neurons fired,
seeding flowering unmention.
Fuel and fire brought attention
to a subtle, growing tension.
The events that transpired
occured as written.

A predictable reaction
to words written
caused the changes, gaining traction
among smitten.
An explosive interaction
between palpable attractions--
predictable reactions,
just as written.

Burned it to the ground,
as it was written.
The lost was found
and lost again, in stark and wry omission.
Quiet was the mission
born of wavering disposition.
It burned into the ground
as it was written.

Back to where we started,
all reversibly departed.
The events that transpired
occured as written.

spontaneous reaction -  a reaction which occurs under a given set of conditions without intervention. may be reversible or irreversible.
957 · Feb 2016
cosmo naught Feb 2016
Let me see your sadness

Let me play with
the shades of
your mind

like paints
on a palette knife

You think of it excess
I find it divine

You can show me your sadness
It reminds me of mine
925 · Jun 2015
On the Borderline
cosmo naught Jun 2015
A passion for disinterest
eats all of my attention.
I used to think that I was stuck,
it turns out I'm the rut.
Habits bent on breaking me
have overtaken lately:
Today I am a pessimist,
so what?

Pretty young degenerate,
you've hardly even even started,
yet your shameful self-involvement
blunts the cries of those you've cut.
The ego that had shaped
your deconstructed mind was make-believe
and, turns out, quite the narcissist:
now what?
cosmo naught Oct 2013
Lately I'm so tired,
like an asteroid lost in orbit.
Set fire to a match
and now I'm burning for it.
But if there is anything
left I'm sure is true:
Honey, I am tired,
but I'm not tired of you.

Constantly so puzzled
when the pieces just don't fit.
Down the road, I'll work it out,
I feel so sure of it.
Oh, but when you kiss me,
who could care if that was true.
Honey, I am puzzled
but not ever about you.

For so long I've been in love
with no one but myself.
Hid all of the step ladders
and my heart on the top shelf.
The thing just gathered dust,
something I never meant to do.
But you brushed it off and now
I'm so in love with you,
so deep in love with you.
921 · Jun 2014
Absolutely Apathetic
cosmo naught Jun 2014
Here we go again
with the delusion that the end
will justify our means.
We don't need to change
if our conscience is clean.

Absolutely apathetic:
Do nothing and you can't regret it.
A waste of time of yours and mine,
you realize, but you don't get it.
Absolute absurdity,
the lengths I'll go so nothing hurts me,
the things I know that should concern me,
but I just can't seem to care.
What's it matter when we're going nowhere?

There can't be a new beginning
when everything revolves around losing and winning;
it's more like time that gets away.
While my head is spinning
you try to hold my hand,
and, though my words are fitting,
you don't seem to understand.

Absolutely apathetic:
Do nothing and you can't regret it.
A waste of time of yours and mine,
you realize, but you don't get it.
Absolute absurdity,
the lengths I'll go so nothing hurts me,
the things I know that should concern me,
but I just can't seem to care.
What's it matter when we're going nowhere?

What are we doing anyway?
I started this morning just like yesterday,
but the world is full of lies and pitfalls,
greedy hands and worried phone calls.
I'd rather build my hell
and paint the walls.

So let's do nothing!
I don't wanna do a ******* thing.

We're proud and we're stoic,
but we pretend like we don't notice.
Life's too short to lose your focus,
or you'll end up losing your way
and start the same tomorrow as you did today.

Let's do nothing!
New song coming along.
920 · Jun 2015
cosmo naught Jun 2015
"salt of salvation"
solution dissolves it.
sought something else;
sacrilegion, so-call it.
buried beneath
burning books,
sacred sheets
shroud and burrow
below born and being.

pressed between pages
like pallor-pink petals
there, stashed, surreptitious
in songs and the hymnals:
"for sweet, sweet salvation,
suppress all temptation
so thwarting damnation
on high."

I'll believe
what I see
when I die.
891 · May 2015
cosmo naught May 2015
I was blinded at first,
I don't know how I found you.
Could not see, but could feel,
so I, raveled, unwound you:
Aurora unreal,
wrapped in ribbons and crowned,
you made blessings of curses
I'd ignored looking downward.

Plot holes and thought games
were ploys of the passionate
who'd answer his question
before even asking it.
Knowing the cost
of the dignity lost,
and so clear that the price would be paid,
I would still play that game
all **** day.

When your magnetic field
rerouted the map,
the shift was a gift
fallen into my lap.
Your voice constant hums
what I could not be told:
*Turn the corner ahead
and the streets are all gold.
890 · Dec 2013
Nocturne to Aubade
cosmo naught Dec 2013
Your perfect love is a sunrise
to my cool and easterly heart.
The light you bring seeks for me
after many nights chasing the moon.

With dawn, I lose sight
of what the orb ever meant to me,
as you drown its scant light
and silence the stars.

It's cold, always was.
You're burning, for me.

The vibrance night stole,
you restore and replenish
with every slow tick of the axis.
Color floods fields and valleys
I'd wandered deep in darkness;
dew steams to scents of summer
as I watch treaded grasses spring to life.

It's here I sit.
Lost on tangled paths
I was sure were meant to lead me,
I forged another, alone,
and built a home.

You shine in through its windows,
seep in past my walls, and,
as I watch and wait for you,
you quietly reach for more of me.
889 · Mar 2016
precognitions (ii)
cosmo naught Mar 2016
i've neglected to notice—
may as well say 'ignored'

only ivory nails
scratching emery, bored

but then every-so-often
it catches my ear

and it says the one thing
but with two things to hear
cosmo naught Mar 2016
On grandchildren
(by accident)
I told my mother
and my father:

I'd not force
another life
without asking
its permission first.

I almost took it back
to tell them
it's okay and that
I know
I was an accident.
856 · Oct 2016
It's a really nice pen
cosmo naught Oct 2016
I bought a pack of pens
The nice ones
But I'm anxious so
I only look at them
I bought the pens yesterday
I've opened them
The nice pens
But I'm anxious so
I haven't used them
Even though I
Am very curious
About the ink
And if it
Flows fluidly
Or paints itself
In the depression
Of the pressure
From my hand
There is one sitting in front of me
A nice pen
I'd like to know how it writes
But I'm anxious so
I can't pick it up
It sits
I have so much to say
But I am anxious so
Maybe later
I'll have forgotten
What it was
I ever wanted
To write
With the nice pen
In the first place
853 · Nov 2013
Racing Time
cosmo naught Nov 2013
Looking back, it's almost comical
to think of times I've sought shortcuts
and found myself fumbling
into dead-ends and dark alleys.

I did not know you can't cheat time.
I did not know I was trying.

Looking around, I'm still in this town,
and all roads have led me to now.
On this route, I've been mugged
for all that I had
seeking the easy way out.
cosmo naught Aug 2015
tell me it's for my own good
sell it to me like a ******* vacuum cleaner
peddle it, baby
knock on my door
and sell me cheap romance:
a product that
just slightly
outlives its warranty.
tell me that you loved me
you really, really did
but there are no refunds
and for three easy payments
of anguish, time, and torment
you were mine, mine, mine:
what a deal!
tell me it's for my own good
when you break down early
i'll get my money back
and take it gambling
where the odds are better.
it's just like you said
just like you said it would be
in fact
the only guarantee i was given
in the fine print.
I'll invest in something else
and you can keep your broken promises.
807 · Aug 2016
sunflowers' heads
cosmo naught Aug 2016
The sunflowers' heads
hang heavy with beauty—
it would mean nothing to me
but I seeded the dirt.
I can stake them and tie them
and they will comply,
smile and greet passersby,
but I know how they hurt.
794 · May 2016
crime and punishment
cosmo naught May 2016
I finally washed my bed sheets.

But on Mondays,
I still water that ******* orchid.

That beautiful blue *******
blooms a new hue every week.

And every week, I am forced to remember
(how could I forget)
how I watered and waited
for a new you to bloom—

not one more beautiful,
not one more suave,
or more handsome, or clever—

but the one you assured me was ripening, quiet
like the beautiful ******* before me.
The one that would love me,
despite being lifeless
for giving you all that supports me.

I thought about throwing it out

but every week,
the orchid keeps its promise.

"Crime and punishment grow out of one stem. Punishment is a fruit that, unsuspected, ripens with the flower of the pleasure that concealed it."
—Ralph Waldo Emerson
775 · Sep 2015
To Get A Grip
cosmo naught Sep 2015
these hand-holding dreams
are disturbing my sleep.
i clutch at the sheets
as it creeps over me
with its blanket of flowers
whose petals count hours,
the tint of a rose
until now,
from when i fell for you
in that christmas-lit room:
a horizon of eyes
over, under the moon.
no, i couldn't have dreamed
that, again, here we'd meet,
locking fingers, again,
fast asleep.
764 · Jun 2015
Intactile Illusion
cosmo naught Jun 2015
I haven't learned the secret,
save to know that it exists.
I would tell you more about it
if it wouldn't break a promise.
Beyond its weighted words,
I can't be sure it can be heard
but I can tell you how it feels (or so I'm told).
It burns and, though it's searing, it feels cold.
cosmo naught Dec 2014
I threw away
your spare toothbrush,
and the cigarette
you burned
at my windowsill,

on two different days
after counting
how long since you'd left.

*I tell myself
that I'm over you,
while I sing the blues
under my breath.
758 · Feb 2011
cosmo naught Feb 2011
today i bruised an apple,
i split him to his core.
all he wanted was to nourish me
and nothing more.

once a fragrant flower
fitted in a white bouquet,
he chose to be support for me,
and i cast him away.
753 · Nov 2012
Bad Seed
cosmo naught Nov 2012
I planted flowers in the bed--
I tilled the ground up new:
for daffodil and iris bulbs
to grow tall in your lieu.

Not lily nor mum,
no, nothing did come:
as did nothing of you.
743 · Apr 2015
Losing Touch
cosmo naught Apr 2015
I remember when
"She knows me well,"
"She knows too much."
I offered all
of my support,
but he favored
the crutch.
In reality,
his duality
is what saved me
in clutch.
He'll call me when
things change again,
next time
he loses touch.
742 · Apr 2016
lovely but lonely
cosmo naught Apr 2016
I first fell
in love
on my head
with a boy who
was not
ready yet
(That's my type.)
and I left,
and I left
words unsaid
and I reddened
the face
of the boy
in my bed
for a boy who
was greedy,
could tell I
was needy,
could help stop
the bleed, but
was not
ready yet.
next was the boy
that I won
(No one won.)
he's the boy
who said "likewise"
and smiled
like the sun.
like a vision,
my dreams,
so it was
and would be
about every
six weeks.
then, oh,
was the guy
who would hold me
real late
while we watched
and we tried
not to date
but he loved me,
we did,
and he made
me feel pretty
on my period
(he was ready
for me,
I did not
deserve him.)
in between
was the guy
who lived
inside my brain;
we drove ourselves
and each other
I don't know
where his
band's playing
or how to spell
his kid's name
(Yes I do.
And he's cute.
I don't know
what I'm saying.)
next and last
but not least
was a boy
I would meet,
young and blonde
and could sing
and so
in love with me.
he wrote songs,
composed small
but what I thought
of him
he did not think
of me.

it's been lovely
but lonely
when those
who would hold me
have told me
they loved me
but not
really known me.
728 · Aug 2016
delta waves (ii)
cosmo naught Aug 2016
If you think no one can change
then you believe this of yourself
and if you think this of yourself
then this is why.
Don't listen to the parts of you
that don't tell you the truth
should they benefit
if you believe the lie.
725 · May 2016
a musing (i)
cosmo naught May 2016
I daydream briefly
and I think about
the softened, muted features
of a female, screaming silently
and tearing at her shoulder blades.
(who is she, who could she be)

the softened, muted features
of an abandoned cardinal mother,
screeching at the loss of scarlet lover.
(where is he, or could he be)

the softened, muted features
of myself alone and sleeping,
finger tucked inside a book
I haven't read about self-love
that I just like to tuck my fingers in.
(how am I, how could I be)

*I don't know why
I want to tell you
but I do,
I really do.
I think my heart
is in an okay place
and think that
yours is too.
715 · May 2015
Crystal Vision
cosmo naught May 2015
What an unfortunate coincidence
that you'd appear. so beautiful
on the first day, I forgot
to think. your name,
Such a beautiful coincidence
or) unfortunate event, it is.
the product and the
quotient. all the same
all the same
713 · Aug 2016
milling about
cosmo naught Aug 2016
a brand new
to breathe in
made of
from my dreams
lifts my heavy
heart to light
new stardust
the night

brand new
air to
fill my lungs with
scent of nectar
to collect
and lubricate
our twisted
tongues with

brand new
like a wholly
world bloomed
to become it
708 · Aug 2015
cosmo naught Aug 2015

like a patch of earth
whose cracks smile
but seed fruitless,

in your

I take in sheets
that quench
too quick:


In the pause between
your mouthfuls,

I take gulps
and gasp for air.
698 · Sep 2013
About her and everything
cosmo naught Sep 2013
My breath,
light and quickening,
candle flame flickering,
rose-scented sweat
     on my skin

Your fists,
clenched like iron grips,
backs arched to our tips,
bridging where we'll go,
     where we've been

But tomorrow,
in the sunrise,
with both of us here,
will you think about me?
or about her and everything?
The kindling you saw in her eyes
when she told you
if she wasn't his,
you'd be hers
(and if you not mine,
then her, yours).

When I grabbed at the sheets
and you grabbed for your jeans
Was it about your hurry?
or about her and everything?
Everything, everything, all of and anything,
anything that is not me.
694 · Feb 2016
first person limited
cosmo naught Feb 2016
Do you feel
at home
in your body?

If I did
I wouldn't
have asked
690 · Mar 2015
cosmo naught Mar 2015
It's thrilling and it's terrible,
it's wondrous while unbearable:
the piquing mind
which seeks to find
the riddle in the parable.
Traverse the universe
like it is yours
for the unwrapping--
the only thing
of anything
to ever free its trappings.

an exaggerated feeling of physical and mental well-being, especially when not justified by external reality

a disorder of affect characterized by depression and anguish

any tendency to deviation of the eyes from the normal when fusional stimuli are absent or fusion is otherwise prevented
685 · Oct 2015
cosmo naught Oct 2015
You: a fire hazard,
and I am the glowing-red exit

whose handle you hold
just to be sure
nothing burns
on the other side.

But nothing can burn me.
What's burning is you,

on the outside
of the exit door.
676 · Jul 2013
Like Honey
cosmo naught Jul 2013
Quietly sleeping, maybe dreaming,
I hear your heartbeat over mine.
I like it better.

Not long ago we spent nights awake,
holding hands, staring past the ceiling
fumbling for words like kids
arranging lettered magnets on a refrigerator door.
So afraid of the feelings
buzzing in our chests like frenzied honeybees
and the sweet, simple words they made
in the combs of our hearts.

The sweet, simple words on the tips of our tongues.
Oh, I could taste them each time you kissed me.

Now we lie here,
quietly sleeping, maybe dreaming
or holding hands, staring past the ceiling
resting on the flowerbed our love made.
670 · Nov 2016
the scorpion & the frog
cosmo naught Nov 2016
I wish that I
had thought to ask
what the frog had
to say back.
670 · Jul 2015
cosmo naught Jul 2015
emotion, mood, & temperament:
scope-events in threes.
weather, climate, atmosphere,
roots & trunks & trees.
tinder, fuel, afire:
all was what what is will be.
I look to see, envisioning
for id, ego, & me.
666 · Jan 2011
cosmo naught Jan 2011
I like waking up
when I am feeling too warm
because you are there
658 · Sep 2015
And Get Some Sleep
cosmo naught Sep 2015
I was depressed and called it ~lifted~
(still get off on being cryptic)
Did my best to take it back
but found my love had been regifted.
Now, though, surely I have grieved,
I'm done suspending disbelief:
let's put this one to bed
and get some sleep.
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