During one of my recent internet travels,
I came across a picture of a “minor”,
posing with tinted lips
and exposed *******.
What got my eyes
pinned were the thousand number of likes
by virtually hooting “boys”
and comments by other group of “gentlemen”
telling her how to dress.

HUMILITY: I have been asked to repeat the word
too many times to recall what it means:
the man on the subway cat-called
and accused me of showing too much skin
but instead of fighting back, I smiled
because girls ought to be nice.
I have been taught to survive
by using my body as a swiss army knife,
and I convince myself that
there is protection in being polite.

H-U-M-I-I am forgetting the rest.

The smoke curled up from between his fingers
and he blew out toxic, blurring my vision.
I gasped and wheezed
but I held my sneeze,
I cannot slap him across his face. HUMILITY.
So, I just pretended to cough, hoping he’ll feel ashamed.

I have been trained to flutter my eyelash,
clench my jaw at a whiplash
and business school boys,
who manifest success by refusing to take “NO” for an answer.
And for every time his prying eyes
scan down by body,
as if rating my inexperienced assets on a scale of one to five,
and every time his touch trails a chill down my spine,
I wonder:
Male kindness is so alien to us; we confuse it with seduction every time.

HUMILITY: the quality of having a low view of one’s importance
but, I fail to understand
when did it become synonymous to diffidence;
there is a subtle difference between
papercuts and shattered integrity,
holding hands and chaining souls,
building houses and creating homes,
humiliation rotting down to bones and humility.
HUMILITY, have you spelled it too many times to know what it looks like?

Amongst the crowd, I blaze it across and up
Down the middle, a mechanically knit hug
With its broken handle
And popping arm crossstiches
To fasten the shame
To hide the tears inside me
That have not evaporated

In my jacket, I am me
3XL and slowly dying
Of a death that no one knows
Or a change that could end the world's colds
No one knows because no one knows care

Eitherway, the fantasy *****
So for reality, I conform
And learn to hide
My curves that have been
Rolled against the mud I never wanted
Shot into the toilet that the water dwelled in stench
Bruised in the way of another but never for a child. Brutal for a teenager

Because love was tailor made
For someone else
Time was made to order
For the busy and no time for me
Because friends beat you up
For being a giant that doesnt fight back

Locked secrets
A past and a pension
Within my body
That I am willing
I am so wishing
To be a shadow
In my black jacket
A face not from the many
But being trampled on the floor
Yet phasing through
Like the timeless, like a ghost
Seldom gone but never present

Can you be so kind, as to let go
of your own ego, that wily old foe
and put your head to the ground, if needs be
to hear the pain, of a man all at sea?

Can you be so loving, as to forget
your own desires, without regret
and step into the fire, if needs be
to soothe away the pain, of a heart much aggrieved?

Can you be so calm, as to not care
for your own fears, and truly dare
to leave behind all you know, if needs be
and run to the rescue, of a child in need?

Can you be so strong, as to ignore
all the aches and pains, all the cuts and sores
and rise again and again, if needs be
to give a helping hand, to the tired and weak?

Can you be so brave, as to look through
the bluff and bluster, of men cruel
and call a ***** a *****, as it should be
and risk a beating, for the cause of the meek?

If you can, come with me my friend
we shall walk to every corner of every land
we shall keep going till we can go no more
and spread Love, let that magic untold, unfold

That one where my head is being sawed off;

I can feel the teeth of the blade biting into my flesh

and I know I am going to be dead very soon.

Or the one where everyone

I’ve ever loved

is gone

and I know

I will

be alone

forever.

Then I’m at the top of the stairs

and falling

into

a black

infinity of nothing.

Or that time I remember

I have a baby

and that I’ve not fed it

or given it a drink for weeks

and now my hand is on the doorknob

opening the door where I remember it must be

and I’m dreading what I will find.

*Sweet dreams, nighty night, don’t let the bed bugs bite.

have you ever looked out the window while it rained?
really makes you wonder right?
what its like to be a rain drop
one in millions of others
landing in an unfamiliar location
alone
all that just to be dried back up in the air
repeating the cycle
my name is Devin Blazejowski
and i know what its like to be a raindrop

Listen
Hear it
Feel it
Pounding
Beating
Humming
Buzzing
Senses overwhelmed
Reality fades away
Time stops
Forever sounds pretty good
Lose yourself
Become one with it
It enters your soul
It pours through your body
Everything connects
It's all tied together
The light shines down
And you are there
Living
Breathing
Listening to the music

Where on earth did all the time go?
The seeds of sleepiness start to grow
Time's constantly passing me by
as I keep asking myself 'why?'
So where has all of the time gone
What's it all been spent upon?