You make the first move
and I rise to meet you
The destruction we agree
is mutually assured

If this love is war
we're going nuclear

I refuse to sign the peace
treaty, to surrender my
lands to a man who's  history
rides nations in his eyes

You cannot coax me
out of my shell only
to crush me when I am
most vulnerable

I will not be an
innocent bystander
to your horrors

I will not allow you
to make my pain beautiful
It is not your canvas
to experiment on.

(You'll only throw
red at it anyway)

I'm tired of tiptoeing
around the subject
like it is a minefield

Eventually I will
bleed your intentions dry
bandage them with a kiss
and revel in their cries

I will tear apart the lies
deftly with nimble fingers
and your tongue will always
defy you, spitting fire
and carefully lodged bullets

Once your secrets flare
there will be no rescue party
to salvage what we had

Only our ashes shall remain
*embers of a past unspoken.

we search for secrets
and lies because we
can't understand
the realities
in our
minds

i wish
like all of you, that i could laugh, and have stupid inside jokes of the times nobody else would find funny.
i wish
like all of you, that i could be invited
to the sleepovers, the parties, the fun things you all do.
i wish
like all of you, that i could laugh and not wonder if my laugh is too loud, or too annoying. speak without looking down, or pulling at the ends of my hair. surround myself with people without feeling like the air around me is suffocating me, rather than helping me breathe.
i wish*
but, until then, i'll just sit close by and wish.