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 Jan 2018
PEARL SMOKE
iN & Out Of Rehab
       iRelapse
Then Collapse
iNever
        Commited To Sober Living So Why Are People Tripping?
     Drug Programs
Are A Waste According To My Case.
        im Never  Going to Stop
 unless i O.D And Drop
But Even iN Heaven Thats iF iRise.
            With the Angel
imma Continue Tweaking Cause iM A ****** Tweaker
     Or iN Hell With Fallen Angels.
It'll Be Better,
       Since iSold My Soul To The Devil.
He Never Asked
iJust Gave iT Up.
iFell iN Love With A stimulant Drug made up Of Chemicals ****** Poison But idgaf il Keep Dosing.  
 Went From Snorting To Smoking
    Methamphetamine
iLet iT Get The Best Of Me.

Part 2
Out & iN
2014 iTs Krazie
iM Back To This Dope ****.
Its been Already 4 years and
Im still Addicted.
In & Out
Of Rehabs, Different Drug Programs and Sad That iStill
Havnt learned ****.
Got Out November 19 2014 For The 3rd Time
And im Still Twisting, Getting Lit
Ilove Living Twisted
Im on a comedown
Im irrated right now wanting to take
Another hit.
 Oct 2017
PEARL SMOKE
The Klouds are in the morning.
As soon as I hear the birds chirping
Once the sun shines in.
Lines are For the night
Since I can’t flick the bics light
Lines last longer
klouds Hit stronger
Thank god for hot rails!
A combination of both ❤️❤️
The best of all is the needle
You feel all the **** blast through
Such a warm loving feeling.
 Oct 2017
PEARL SMOKE
This is why I want you
I need you right now
It's you who I cry for
Dopelove where are you?
I feel lonely and cold
I want your warmth & comfort
I love the way you listen to my words. You never judge, your so understanding. You try your best to keep me happy
Making me feel special & important
I don't need nobody
Just you
You give me everything noones could.
Honesty & loyalty
You listen and make me feel beautiful
 Oct 2017
PEARL SMOKE
I don't care
How people might View me
I don't give a ****
Call me a Drug Addict
I don't give a ****
**** I love it
Why deny it?
Ew you crack head
Ha ***** Mind yours
Cause I love that world
Drugs and drugs
Yes, I love all of them
 Oct 2017
PEARL SMOKE
I Was Safe By Your Side.
Now Your Gone, Im in Pain.
Im Desperate To Feel Numb, To Take A Hit.
to feel alive, in my zone once again.
We all know i cant go back to my prefrence.
its ok, i found a subtitue substance.
not as potent, but it takes me out my 5 senses.
im hurt, im broken.
drugs are always my token.
 Oct 2017
PEARL SMOKE
Hell Yeah!
i Feel Like How Im supposed to be.
On this fascinating Level You Will never get to feel or see
unless youve read the outcome
unless you are a daredevil like me.
So Sensational And Powerful
I love this tweak
Its So Sad That im high
& After so much help givin
im still doing it.
But look it weakens me
when i feel alone and down
i begin to reminisce about it when im feeling negative
Then Thoughts of using rush right in
i Get the urge and feel temptation rise
then begin to fein
many thoughts of getting lit start racing in
my mind.
An Old Writing i Found
 Oct 2017
PEARL SMOKE
I Introduced Myself To ****
Searched On The Internet
Most Dangerous Drug
I Was Curious
None Around Me Had Ever Mentioned or Talked About it
At 14
I Read Its Affects & Effects
The Consequences
Of **** Use Didn't Scare me
The Sensation of How it Makes You Feel is What bought me.
There i Go
That Same Day, That Night.
Hit Up My Dealer
Asked if He Had Any Connections
Turned out, He Sold That Too
iWanted To Try This
A One Time Thing, Just to see
Got it That Night
Crushed it Till i Thought Could Turn To Powder, Never Did.
Rolled Up A Dollar
Snorted A 3/4 Inch Line
Of Shiny Crystals
Then instantly my Nose Was on fire
Felt Like it Cut Up Inside my nose
Dissolving my sinuses
The pain lasted Around 40 Seconds
My Eyes Got Teary and Redish
Then A Few Minutes Later
A Nasty Taste Dripped in the Back Of My Throat
So Bitter and horrible
But
The Feel iT Gave Me Was
incredibly Wonderful
Did not expect this much Amazing sensation.
I loved it, Ice Seduced Me
The Drug Had Me Up loving Life For 24 Hrs
Once The high was gone
I Noticed i felt much better on it
So i Wanted it again
The Feeling Was As if You Won The Lottery, Had Every Materialistic
Thing you Ever wanted
As if All Your Dreams all Came True
Accomplishing
More Than 100 Thing's
Felt So Good about myself
Motivated, Highself Esteemed
I Liked How iT Functioned
iUsed
Then iT Quickly Turned
To Abuse
I Wanted To Feel That Loving Euphoria Affect Everyday
I loved it.
Id Started Buying more of it
Without Keeping Count of How Much id Spend.
Id Buy Bigger Quantities
The Amount iBegan With No Longer Hit Me, iNeeded More
I Had Then Built A Tolerance iHad No Recognition of.
I Noticed
My Allowence Money Was No Longer Enough To Get Me High
I Lost Control, **** Took A hold.
iBelieved iWas Doing it Out of me.
When in Reality
The Substance is whats Telling Me What To Do & how to Move
Developed The Addictive Mentality
Asking My Body For More
& More.
Scheming Of Ways To Provide Myself to get high.
It Was Destroying My Life
I Was To High To Even Realize The Negative Affects it was creating.
It Pushed People Away
I Was All About My Dope
Didnt Care if i lost Friends
Just Wanted To Smoke.
It Complicated & Made My Life miserable.
Crystal Had Me So Distracted i Had No iDea Or Intrest About What Was Going On Around me.
Family Arguments Appeared
iWould Get Rowdy Or Act ****** When id Be Coming Down
And Just Talk nonsense
Even if Nobody Was Doing Anything to me
Id Just Keep Disrespecting.
I Slowly Started To Disappear
And Was Becoming A Whole New Person.
With A Different View, Perspective
Unknown motives
Unpredictable Actions
I Lost My Self Completely
Mentally & Emotionally
I Smoked My Self Gone
People Then Started Becoming Concerned, Saying i had a problem.
I Then No Longer New
Who i Really Was.
Not Like it Mattered To Me Anyways
All i Cared About Was My Dope
And Getting High.
I Was Living in My Own Unrealistic World.
What Began To Look Real To Me.
Lack Of sleep
Made Me Start Tripping, Hearing Voices And Seeing ****.
I Would Go Weeks Without Sleep And food .
I Experienced So Many Bad Trips
Methamphetamine Had Me In A Bumpy Road, Lead Me To places i didnt know existed
And introduced me to tweakers who became my homie
iWasnt Concerned About My Looks Rather More into finding more
Dope Hooks
My Image Was Fading
I Became Very Thin, My Cheecks ****** in
Skin Tone Was Pale
Easily bruised
Collar bone out, My pupils Would Stand Out Especially With The Dark Bags under My Eyes.
i thought i looked good.
The Drug blocked the view of how i slowly began to look.
I Didnt Mind, Didn't Care .
I No longer Stoped to think About
My Actions or consequences
i Started to rebel more
I Didnt Fear Or Was Scared of nothing.
Eventually i Got To The point were i Would use and just feel nothing.
I Had No More Emotions
I Couldn't Smile or cry
I Felt No Remorse No Guilt
No Present Conscious
All Of This Behavior Led Me To Stealing And Doing Things that Went against My Own Will.
The Drugs
Messed With My Head
Gave Me insane Thoughts
Made Me Think Evil
Into A Complete Monster.
Its Really Krazie How these Tiny Shards Can Convernt
You into Something So Lifeless And Horrible.
I Went From Being A Curious Regular girl
To Just Wanting to Sit in My Room Isolated Everyday and just get high Hitting the Glass Pipe.
I dedicated all my time to this
I was sprung and in love
I depended on it for everything
I Went A Long Road
Went Through So Much
4 years of this
Story goes on..
 Oct 2017
PEARL SMOKE
iJust Want To Escape From Reality once again.
Heartfull of Pain, Pipe Full of Magic
Im Having So Many
Racing Thoughts, wild emotions zoning i feel like
Im losing it Again, iwant Outs at this moment i want to
Scream "**** THIS" And Run Away again.  Icant cope
With this, its too much iwant to feel numb and forget.
 Sep 2017
PEARL SMOKE
Gotta Love This ****
Changes You Up Quick.
Take A Little Hit, Take A Pop, A Taste, A Bite A Syringe  .
Chemical Effects Seeing Life Unrealistic Getting Super ****** Twisted <3
Loving Life Feeling 20x Better Than Mighty Fine, iTs Fantastic Can Be Long Lasting.
You'll Truly See How Wonderful iT iS, Like Real Magic.
Body Sensation, Mind Blasting,  Euphoria Rising, Smiles, Hugs, Many Laughing.
One Simple Dose Can Make You Feel important, Wanted, Loved,  Above, Amazing, Powerful, Special, invincible.
Your Kept Focused On Yourself And Dreamy Like Flow That You'll Soon Fall inlove With
iTs A Feel indescribable & Just Everything You Can Ask For.
Blocks And Keeps You Away From Your Surroundings, its Unique, intense, Has Suspense , Gives You Affection & So Much Satisfaction Plus Attention Keeps You  Distracted By These Temporary Actions.
You Like What iT Brings You
How Happy & Better Of A Life You Seem To Be Living iN Your Eyes,
it Lies
It'l Keep You Wanting So You Begin And Keep On Finding .
You Used, Now You Abuse
Fell For iTs Tricks,Now You Say
I Can't Live Without This.
Your Life's On Pause Took This Dangerous Vacation Which No One Has A Clue Whether You'll Come Back The Same Or Alive Cause
Your Brains So
Damaged & Fried
You Keep On Consuming Assuming Everything's All Right,
Your Hooked On This Potion Poison That Hypnotized You
Took Ahold Of You
Your Becoming Unknown
Lost Control , Life Spans On A Thin Line, Fast Mode, Became So Distant , isolated
Your Un-Existent To The World Now. But You Yourself Dont Even Give A **** About Anyone But Your Drugs . Went So Low Sold Your Soul To A Heavy Substance Which You Consider Your Only And Lord.
Minds Erased,
Future Hope And Dreams Went All To Waste
Reality Seems Fake
So Used To Being High
You Feel its Your Normal Estate. Have No Faith Became So Negative , And Careless & Use Your Heart less Went Against Your Morals & Values Not Minding The Monster You Have Turned into.
Self  Image Beginning To Lose iTs Color iTs Details
Thinning , All Numbed Out,
Having No Type Of Emotions , Cant Laugh, No Smiles, Your Charm Fades,  Life Became A Daze Long Maze You Then Begin To Feel Hopeless, Worthless Thinking And Believing You Can Only Move On By Continuing Smoking
This Dope ****
Your Body Begins This Tolerance, leading & Waiting To Introduce You To What You'll Consider Hell Worser Than Comedowns
Withdrawls.
Body's All Messed Up Tricking You Into Thinking That A Nice Hit Will Fix You Up.
So Much More To This Bad Habit Of A Drug.
Havnt Mentioned
Money, Risks, And Lost's.
Drugs End Up ******* You Up Sadly Madly Disappointed At The Fact You Threw Away Your Life Without Even Noticing .
Or Wanting.
Your Addicted And Sickened
Strung Out But Still Looking Towards How Your Getting Your Next Fix? You Still Go Down The Lane Passing The Stop Sign
In Another Dimension  Nobody But You Only Mention
Going Krazie, Buried Yourself,
Your A New Person.
Paranoia, Voices, Shadows, Whispers Your Becoming insane Looking So Drained.
On A No Sleep Mode,
But You Don't Care So You Still Go Down The Same Lane
Cause iTs Really Hard To Change From What You Have Been Around And Same Routines For A While And So Used To Doing And Living With These New Drugged
Thoughts, Mind, New State Mentality Full Of Loving Drugs And Living With Day And Day On And On.
You Messed With Your Head
Even Though You End Up Making iT To Sobriety Days
Most Likely You'll Relapse And Fall Again.
Because Drugs Had Made A Huge Impact In Your Life For A Long Period Of Time
iTs A Strong Attachment That Can And Will Heal By Time iF You
Try
Have Hope in Your Eyes Ears Heart &
Mind.
 Sep 2017
PEARL SMOKE
I'm Craving Meths Euphoria flow
I'm Sorry Baby
if your reading this But I can't resist to hold this thought in.
Knock knock
It's My Dealer At The door
delivering a Fat sack of
Crystal Rocks
Drop Some, Cut it, line it
One Line
Snort it Fast
Crushed Up Well, Burns like hell
Sniff After Sniffs
Eyes Turned Glossy, Shred A Tear. Seconds later
Felt the Drip Tingle
Down my Throat bitter taste
One Line Two Lines
I'm Beginning To Feel Heightened a sense of Pride and Self Worth Very Confident Awake and Alert.
One Line Two Lines Three Lines
I'm Feeling Amazing, energetic, Talkative
One Line Two Lines Three Lines four
I feel As if I Own And Accomplished Everything in This Word.
Unlimited Happiness all in Just
One Dose.
One Line
I Fell In Love With Its Every Effect.
I forever want to feel this way
One Line Two Lines
IDont Ever Want to stop I'm sprung
I want to continue on
One Line Two Lines Three Lines
I'll Keep Using, it's so strong Fantastic iDc if iOver Dose
One Line Two Lines Three Lines four.
I want More I Need More.
 Sep 2017
PEARL SMOKE
The Sky iS Frozen
Money iS Falling, Green iN The Air.
Theres A Scream, A Screen
Can iT Be
Crystal Clear Flashing its self to me
How Could iT Be
Yes, its The Substance
iT Has Control Over Me, iT Owns Me
iAlready Gave iT My Soul
it Bought Me
iM iTs Slave, iTs Puppet
its Two Thousand Thirteen
2013
**** Hasnt Changed, iTake Rehab As A Game
iGained More Knowledge
iPledge To My Godess
Which iS The Evil The Crooked The Devil.
iM A fallen Angel iNlove with Crystal
 Sep 2017
PEARL SMOKE
This Feeling iS So Amazing.
Youll LOVE IT
More Like Fall inlove and Become Sick Dope Sprung,
iKnow iDid.
Fell For iTs Blinded Tricks So Easily
iTll Greet You And Come To You Nice And Sweetly
A Rush
The Feel As iF You Just Accomplished More Than
100 Things At Once.
A Sunshine Glow
Euphoric Flow
 Sep 2017
PEARL SMOKE
iMMa Love You
Till The Day They Make Me Leave You.
They Don't Know Your My Soul & i
Need You.
I Know iTs Wrong, But iT Feels So Right.
2012 iD Always Repeat "imma Smoke This **** Till iM Dead" Was So Out Of, Smoked Out Telling My Parents iLove Crystal More Than Then.
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