Lonely, like the ancient ocean
flooding fast upon the sand

past a fading line of footprints,
ankle deep in surf she stands

casting wishes on the water
like a sprinkling of snow,

light they land but moments after,
melt into the waves, and go..

You are the backbone when I collapse
The blanket on a snowy day
My morning shower companion
Who feels like the extension of my skin
The smell of comfort on the pillow next to mine
When I wake up alone
My overstuffed feeding target
And the epicenter of my earthquakes
That I can neither resist nor withstand
The promise, faith, meaning and forgiveness
All in one person whom I could never lose

There was nothing like a holiday to make me feel  alone .

I watched her move with the music she seemed anything but alone .

They say honey draws bee's and **** does flies well here tonight in this bar you had a good mix of both.


She moved shook her *** every eye was on her .

From the ones that yearned to know that body to the women who just shook there heads and under there breath whispered what a *****.

How marvelous she was underneath dimmed lights me I just watched and sipped a overpriced drink .

Hank was behind the bar for some reason he always found time to speak with me .

I have no idea why I truly didn't care for people I just was in need of a drink and didn't have anything at home.

Man some looker over there huh buddy?

Yeah she's got a magnificent *** doesn't she ?

Yeah little big though for me Jack .


Never been one invented to big for me .

Hank laughed yeah that's true hell and never one to loose either.

What can I say Hank I'm a man of low standards and easily Impressed therefore I'm seldom disappointed .


Your one crazy ******* you know that ?

Hell I never forget that hank how bout a refill my man and by are entertainment a drink on me .

Hank went to fetch my Jack and coke and give the girl with the nice *** a drink although I doubted she needed one from me seems every guy in this place was buying her drinks and from her looks I understood why .


I looked around the room the usual's were all there and a few new faces I didn't truly care I was to them the odd ball drunken writer what a rare spices that is indeed .

Almost as rare as a fireman who smokes or is bat **** crazy .

When there's no fire to put out the nut would light something on fire just to have something to put out guess we all need a purpose and me I just need another drink.


The jukebox just kept playing the right kind of music and she kept in perfect time with the beat .

Rhythm  is always in the hips it flowed from there and took over it was some perfectly strange and beautiful  voodoo to watch.


The pool players missed shots and the place seemed almost alive.

Eventually a fight would break out now that was some entertainment .

I sipped my other drink hank was a good barkeep and total **** at mixing drinks

he started watering them down bout the third real drunks always notice .


**** Hank why not just give me all coke!

Make it a double always in mine you ******.

Hey Jack sorry must have been distracted.

Well stop staring at Larry's *** hasn't he told you he don't swing that way anymore since college.

Larry who was bent over the table making a shot just laughed .

**** man I never went to college Larry replied.


Yeah your right it must have been prison I knew I recognized you from somewhere .

The room busted up laughing ******* Jack .

Larry said laughing .


The room was alive the ***** was flowing .

Tommy walked up to me man you see that that chick dancing man.

I got two eyes don't I Tommy?

Well I been talking to her man I bet you fifty bucks she going home with me tonight.


Oh yeah Tommy she cant resist you huh?

**** man who could?

Been buying here drinks all night I can tell she wants it you see

the way she was rubbing up against me that last song .


Well you must have done something Tommy in fact seems you really worked her up .

What the hell you talking bout Jack ?

Tommy asked me as that goofy as expression was yet again upon his face.

Tommy was a arrogant *** in every sense he thought he was hot **** and when you took the hot part out of that statement you had his more true essence.


For as Tommy was facing me bragging I had been watching that little brunette the whole time.



Well Tommy I said , it seems that girl you danced with was so worked up she just couldn't wait for your return.

I don't get what you mean Jack.
Look I nodded my head he turned to view what  would in his mind be his latest conquest  making out with another woman .


I herd him say what the **** .

I took another sip of my watered down drink .

So Tommy I asked as I patted him on the shoulder .

Still want to take that bet?


And another night bit the dust .

Stay crazy


Gonz

I know you think
I wear lipstick everyday
And my hands always
Smell like
Chai tea and raspberries

I know you think
My tongue always
Tastes like
Melted sugar
And peppermint

I know you think
I sleep in the same lace
Underwear
You find me in
On certain Sundays
In the spring
When the air is light
And my jeans
Don't stick
To my thighs

I know you think
I'm larger than life

Above chipped teeth
And bruises
And cigarette ash
And acne

I know you think
My eyes don't turn
Blood red
And poison
When I cry

I know you think
My finger nails
Are always
Freshly painted

And I always wear
A bra
That fits

I know you think
Yoga pants are
My comfy clothes,
Never gray sweat pants
With a faded red stain
Between my legs

I know you think
My calves are always
Soft, hairless, and toned

You think
I wait by the phone
With vanilla incense
Burning in a red robe

But you're wrong
And that's impossible

I won't let you in
Cause I won't be
The one
To shatter
Your whole
Pretty, little world

I'm disgusting
Sometimes

I sleep with
Way too many
Girls and guys

And sometimes I cry so much
My eyelids peel
Til I look like
Leather face
And I don't leave my house
For 8 days

And in those 8 days
I shower
Maybe twice

My skin gets rough
In the winter

Right now
I have a
Pimple on
My left shoulder
And every morning
It looks a little
Meaner

My ***** spill
Out over the top
And the sides
Of my favorite
Sport's bra

And I don't care

I smell like burnt oil
And cheap hair dye
Half of the time

I haven't washed
My sheets in a while
And they smell like
Salt water
And chlorine

You put me up on a pedestal
From which I refuse to fall

So I'll stay here,
Far,
Untouchable

You'll never love me
With sticky tampons
In my garbage can
And half drank beer bottles
On my bedroom floor

I'll stay here,
Far,
Untouchable,

Safe