i've currently
many
many
thunderstorms inside of me
and i'm learning
how to
rain
people often see the sunshine
and forget
that lightening
brings brightness
to the dark
as well
or that
thunder wants to be heard
just as much as the birds
and
dark clouds
are really just as soft as
the white ones
i've currently
many
many
thunderstorms inside of me
and i am no longer scared
of getting wet
i seek shelter within myself
here is where i
reign

I want you, but I'm okay with your essence
Basking in your scent long after your presence
The pursuit of my happiness
Seems to wrapped up in your arms
Yet I'm wrapped up
And you seem to be gone
Our fate is as good as whitewashed
Unwritten history in the making
Sanitized love
I give and you're taking
I should never be ok with half
When whole is available
I was ok with your essence
Until it became untraceable

Slipping further away
Deeper into the darkness
Bad choices and wrong turns
Weigh the anchor speeding descent
Plastic smiles and crocodile tears
Which is the mask?
Where does the truth lie?
Reaching down to offer a reprieve
There is no hand to grasp
Helpless, watching
Tears burning as the light fades to nothing
Where is the fire that lit you from within?
If you reach for me,
I will always be there

"This is but once an end to us,
A single blot upon our page.
There is still much we will discuss.
In another time; another age"

Her palm went weak within my grasp,
As her soothing voice began to fade.
And like the biting of an asp,
There was no bargain to be made.

"I cannot breathe this wretched air--
Made toxic by her extinguished breath--
And were I to feel I could not care,
I'd follow her into her death."

A plague upon mortality!
A curse 'pon all the gods!
And yet the binds of morality,
Will maintain all uneven odds.

"There is still much we will discuss.
In another time; another age"
It repeats and rolls--a cursed chorus,
Set 'gainst a melody that dances up a rage.

Nothing left to discuss; no other time or age.
No longer can I breathe her breath; there is no other way.
The world is not a picture show; we're not born on a stage!
Life exists for pain and loss; there's no grand scheme we play!

"I cannot live this wretched life--
Made empty by her extinguished flame--
I'd hoped that I could make her my wife,
But not all plans are laid the same..."

I drag myself into the street--
Away from the memories of her--
And fall 'neath the current of marching feet.
I try to forget all that we were...

Then I sense a figure there,
A silhouette among the crowd.
And all I'm left to do is stare,
With what little strength I'm left endowed.

"There is not but once to any end,
No singularity to the times.
Though it will not repeat, my friend,
The past works well in rhymes."

Me: - let the bird fly,
         let it leave its nest,
         let the tears cry ,
         when laughter is at its best.

soul let it not heal us,
         let us heal time,
         when your dreams blind your vision;
         let us draw the line.

ME - lets go find the answer ,
          to me easy it seams,
         lets become one,
         and live our dreams.

soulI'ave seen them break many times,
         its me the one who cries,
         every-time your heart breaks;
         its me the one who dies.

ME - OKAY i will **** all my thoughts;
        i wont hurt you no more ;
       will **** those blessed memories;
       that hurt you to the core.

ME -here is the good news,
           i'ave got it out of my head,
          **can you hear me my brother ?!
          are you asleep or are you dead !!!!

There's a friend--
Why JUST a friend?
BeCause  she said.

There's a girL--
Why JUST a girl?
Because i said.

You're just A boy.
That...
I won't deny

Who do yoU want?
i don't know.

Who shoulD you want?
That's too easy.

"Pick a Side"
"mIx em"

Well, there's
a challenge
a chase
an obsession
...It's fleeing
Or, Am I?

Stepping out
On stepping stones
Cracked and ready to crumble
The slightest pressure or lightest weight
Bring the depths instantly closer
Plummeting to the unknown
Facing the unwanted
The sunny sky turns tunnel
Turns pinhead, turns black
Vertigo, no sign to guide
Nothing to lean on
No way to track the bubbles
As the drowning ensues
Searing pain, like lightening
Blinds or enlightens
A flash of what's to come
For an instant there is tomorrow
In that instant hope renews
A hint of up or down
A choice of direction
A path to glory
A way of life
And the sun will never be lost again

be direct
  direct me


have I not,
    but cannot more
                      be been strong for you,
            so I teach you to teach the power
of strength by daring to ask


ask me
   i will create anything it is
in my power
   to create for you
i will break anything for you
that needs to be broken

old poet old brok-en asking that you keep on
asking, I need nothing broke, busted but still needing you,
needing you whole for me to be whole,
from that hole of dark, we share different sides,
I need you creating
you anew

al green said
  no one told us about the sorrow
no one told me about today
no one told me about tomorrow    

if asking were my strength
  this deadly blind balance
would not be my act

but it is that you arrived here to survive here,
the balance is blind, but you are not,
you knew sorrow was a possible.
you want easy, I'll give you easy,
ask yourself above all,
what's next that
I want

answering
   l o v e...
i can answer
i can answer

*the old poet asks,
why is it this poem world always comes around to that
old tirade, that four letter word...the one you ask,
when is it
my turn, and I answer you twice,
for you asked and answered twice,
I do love you,
I do love you,
exactly as you are,
invisible but oh so visible to us all,
and that is why you must ask for
more, evermore,
never ceasing, believing this more
is due, due to you

he wasn’t expecting my lips to be so warm

nor my heart to be so cold

he wanted to go by what he felt

and not believe what he was told

"There was something about that boy,"
she said, and I could feel her words
creep into my brain and pull at my heart,
they hit close to home, "he could make
anyone feel special, you know?
It was like his smile had the power
to make or break a person,
and he built me back up,
he put the pieces together
and made me whole again
with just that smile.
I swear it."

Her eyes were far away then,
and I imagined this one boy
taking her hand and making everything okay.
"All I've ever gotten from love is trouble,"
I say, thinking about my latest failed
attempts at living a fairytale with
a boy that had puppy dog eyes
and a wolf's bite, a pearl-white smile
that turned to snake fangs at night.

But this boy she talked about,
--with so much love in her voice,
so much joy behind her eyes,
so many memories in her brain
that I can almost see them,
I am almost a part of them--
everything about him must
have been beautiful


and that's exactly what I want.