I've been slitting my wrist
Trying to the numb the pain of a frightful Tuesday night
It's not working
What have I become?
Never thought I would commit such
Funny enough during that moment I felt nothing
No hurt, no pain and no shame
The feelings came to haunt me when I'm in my thoughts
Every night it was the same story
I cried but it wasn't enough
Shouting for help but it fell on deaf ears
One came to save me
The razor came to save me
It's not painful when I slit it just creates an ich
The Ich makes me forget

I can't stop crying
So I go to my room
Go look look for my help
Slit slit slit .
I'm still crying I must stop
Slit slit slit
Its starting to ich I'm almost there
Slit slit slit.
My cheeks are now dry .
I made it
I've stopped crying
The disappointing actions vanished
The sad life I live just .... Faded .

Darkness consumes me
Swallows me in
Waves of destruction
crashing around me
Chiseling at my soul
Hacking away
All resolve and reason
until all that is left
Is a corroded soul
Desolate
Destroyed
Depraved
A silent echo
Of the woman I once was

She's crying in her car
For the tenth time this week
And she begs for her life to end
And her request goes unanswered
She is a hallow woman
So broken from this world
Breaking more from the brokeness
Because people tell her
it'll get better
you'll move on
you'll forget
you won't always feel this way
And she just screams
When?! When does it stop feeling like a dagger is in my chest? When do I get to smile again? When will it get better? When, because it sure as hell hasn't happened after all this time.

She sits in her car
And she cries
Tries to steady her breath
She hopes
One day she won't have to cry
One day it won't ache her to wake up
She hopes
With every tear
And somehow she thinks
Her time will never come.

I can hear it slicing through my brain,
like a sharp, stray tune of imperfect melody.
It tampers with desolate whimpers
A cry for attention
My contoured skin is peeled away
by those words

"Never will I be,
Pretty."

If I could just cut it off
like excess skin
like layers of flabby fats

If there's a liposuction
for dark thoughts
If I can tuck it
away from my tummy

I'd do it in a heartbeat.