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He's never there
she doesnt care.
ashamed they both are
it could leave a scar.
this made me feel so low
so i thought i should just go.
like they say in rome
there's no place like home.
i tried to off myself i felt so responsible
but sadly i just ended up in the ******* hospital.
crazy place i went where the time well spent
went home where nothing changed not even a dent.

a year later i had an anniversary
ha.. got me needing a nursery.
but here i am
not giving a ****.
but still thinking of ways
to spent most days.
and still thinking of plans
to end my demands.
by anniversary i ment a relapsation. you'd be surprised how many people get sent to a mental hospital. its not as stereo types make it seem its just like.. a baby proofed everything building with REALLY nice people and good food. c: it helps. oh and they watch u and have the days planned out for u to do activities that'll help you. no straight jackets or empty cushioned rooms. v.v
 Apr 2016
Happynessa
Never trade your authenticity for approval
Always be the exception
This is a sport l never known.
Your heart;
Tells you to quit this
far.
I had mounted on eagle's
wings.
I never anticipated that
my high would
End up in inevitable nose ***.
Tears stream down.
All those suicide sacrifices,
Along the way l lost so much
And were replaced
By no other than one.
To be in disreputable belongings,
I worry much as l still
carefree,
But you left a wound in my
heart.
Notes (optional)
 Apr 2016
Victoria Jennings
Her whole life has been a whirlwind of her own battles

To her mother her life is perfect

To her father she is nonexistent

To her brothers she is the forgotten

To her professors she's the failure

To her best friend she's a sweet girl and a fun time

To her cats she is caretaker and lover

But in the end all that matters is that...

To her she is flawed, she struggles, she's lost and confused, she lacks beauty, she is too big but doesn't wanna be small, she is fatherless, she is a **** survivor, hushed secrets, she is over sexualized, she is used, she is all too hopeful, she loves just too much, she is shattered, she struggles to hold on, she still fights the call of the blade, she is all flaws condensed into a single person, and she is starting to burst at the seams.
 Apr 2016
Victoria Jennings
She was the brown eyed dreamer

Always hoping for the best

So full of aspiration

Until one day a man knocked on her door

This man's name was depression

He clung to her like a second skin

Tearing away her hopes and dreams

Suddenly everything she wanted

Seemed impossible

He held her down

And she tried to fight him

But all she was left with

Was fake smiles

So no one else would see the monster cloaking her

Depression ran her fingertip across a blade

And she fought to put it away

She won't let him win again

Even if it feels like he is

He makes her heart break some days

And on others he lets her breathe

His cruelest trick is making her cry

When she almost feels happy.
 Apr 2016
Victoria Jennings
There is an endless gap
In my chest
Where your pain
Would be
Now all that remains
Is the pain that comes from me

It is as wide and great as a raging sea
And I cannot make it leave
At least not without your pain I believe.
Random poem late tonight. Was thinking of him more. Always seem to now.
 Apr 2016
Victoria Jennings
I love you*
She whispered into the wind
With a heart so full
She thought it might implode.
 Apr 2016
Victoria Jennings
As always without you
I am a pile of withered ashes

Brokeness that can't heal
Not alone at least

As always I realize another mistake
Another flaw of mine

Another reason I have lost you
**** babe

I tried so hard not to love you
To not need you
To not miss you
But your soul
Has always been a part of mine
And even when others said you
Were completely insane
I said that your craziness was mine

**** sweetie pie
I freaking miss you
You were my best friend
And even though
You could forgive
You couldn't forget
And even though You didn't understand
You tried so hard to
And I think you knew
The contours of my soul
More than anyone ever will

Because ****** baby
You were my eclipse
Always passing through
Sometimes you'd brighten everything
Other times make it so dark
And every once in a while you
Would make it both
And it would be beautiful
We never worked
But we wanted to so badly
We fought for years
Until we quit

And I still miss your little scar
And your freckles
I miss your weird appetite
And I miss your fear
Of hugging me when I cried
I wish you were here
Because I'm a bigger mess without you

Some love stories aren't perfect
Some don't have a happy ending
I know ours didn't
But it was still amazing.
You will never see this. I'm broken. Depression is back sweetie. It always makes me miss you more.
 Apr 2016
Leslie Jade
Stop! She's hurting
Everyday all she thinks about is dying
She doesn't want to hear anything
because she would always end up crying

Her mom doesn't understand
she had nothing, including her dad
everyone around her is mad
not knowing they're the reason why she's sad

they're so fond of humiliating her
including her dearest mother
she always hides on a corner
isolating herself, thinking it will be over


She had nothing left, but the blade
it's her bestfriend & her aid
all the sufferings temporarily fade
with her blood dripping when she laid
Hi I'm new and this is one of my poems so ya
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