Time to go back,
into my place.
Where no one can see me,
no light or no grace.

Time to go back,
into my hole.
Where all is forgotten,
all pain is fore told.

Time to go back
into my hell.
Where the creature is waiting,
that torturous cell.

Time to go back
into my sane.
Where my fortune is told,
all crazy as rain.

Time to go back
into my youth.
Where my story is begun
with the heel of a boot.

Seeing his body lying before me felt unreal
If I only knew of the pain he would feel
As my shades shades the rays and hides my sobbing gaze
Never would I have thought to see this day
Tears fill my eyes as I hug his mother
He use to be like my blood,my brother
She says "His saddness is at an end."
The pain is indescribable watching them bury your oldest friend.

I'm so confused
No I don't understand
Because who I see here
Is Not who I am.
Reflections tell a story
The one everyone sees
But if you look deeper inside
There's much more left to be.
We're told when we're young
That anything is possible
But society continues
To declare dreams improbable.
I don't hate who I am
Just who I see in the mirror
For these thoughts I keep hidden:
They provoke too much fear.
I want to be normal
Young and happy
But I can't figure out
If I'm really me.
I make a decision
Decide on a label
That is until
New cards hit the table.

It's fathers day

and yet my father is the only one who ever hurt me

but he is also the only one who ever loved me

its very confusing

because I love him and he loves me

but his way of showing things

is seen by others crazy

I would rather have a card saying I love you

then a punch in the eye

since they mean the same thing to you

but now your in jail

far away

and now im crying on my living room couch

with a tube of ice cream

praying that you where here

to show me you love me

even if that meant hitting me

I miss you daddy

and I love you even though you hurt me

Happy fathers day

I love you daddy

You make me wonder what I would be like

If you hadn't comed in and changed my life

if you hadn't made everything that's wrong seem right

or if you didn't trick me into believing in love in first sight

or if you did teach me death

because I died when you left me

So I guess that means my question is answered

without you in my life I would be like a cancer survivor  

without the cancer

When we kissed it sent electricity throw my bones
it sent waves of adrenaline through me
none stopping
and that feeling
called me

so every night I went to your room
and every day I was your punching bag
you where the on thing I couldn't live without
but I literally cant live with you
because you where killing me

Those kisses of electricity
gave me frost bite
colder than a winter night
they sent fear through me
I didn't know
I couldn't see how you where hurting me
All I could do was imagine that that frost bite was cold because of me
I did something to make things turn badly
and sadly I couldn't get out of this mess
I couldn't believe
you would ever mean to hurt anybody

then my angles came to help me

Anger is like the headlights of an incoming truck. It's blinding, and you'll never realize you were on the wrong side of the road until the moment of impact.

a.g

this morning, i could not get one breath in edgewise
as she stuck her nose in the air and told me condescendingly
how parroted prayer and mass-market worship got her closer to god

and i had to clench my teeth
to refrain from telling her
i prefer the nine inch nails version of
that.

I almost
forgot to
tell you
about
how the
stars
shine off
your smile
and the
setting sun
looks better
in your
pale blue
eyes.
and all
of the
woods and
desserts,
I'll set it all
on fire.
      And we'll
burn together
never questioning
how it could
have been.