the walls whisper loneliness
the bed begs for closeness
every night
you were here with me
every night
i kissed you sweetly
but slowly
you were disappearing
i kept trying to make myself known
that i was here still
but i can't make a ghost see me
unless they want to on their own
i close and lock the door
i whisper,
"please come home"
but we don't live here anymore
it's me, again
always finding myself at this familiar end
pangs of nostalgia and
your ghost
won't even haunt me
won't even say hello
anymore

and
       just like that
I am falling
unfolding in your eyes
layers of shadows unraveling
in polar-laced
              spirals of hunger
deep freeze melting upon tongue
an icy build-up
thawed in seconds
for my very cells burn
          beneath your gaze
as you take in the fullness
                 of my presence
     despite the smoky,
glass-paned haze
My presence-
     suffused with
          the darkness of silk-
          I want it to graze your skin
the most gentle feather
  stroking emotion
       coaxing out the
        delicately-wrapped
          firestones in you
           spinning them into    
a frenzied lava-slaked ocean
     and then those unexplained,
flurried lattice flakes
that somehow soothe and cool
within this inferno
of just-missed proximity

My essence
             is cast like a net
over you
as we dive into
         the volumes
as I pull the
heated visions out of your mind
             feel your heart's closest
  most tiny reverberations
           little beats barely heard
yet in some unlikely way
pump blood into mine
Undo me
as my wet blue pools
dissolve into yours
my trussed-up implosions
flowing out in air-spun tempest
Unwrap my defenses
          a soldered-up dam breaking
                 a glass tubular bell
                   hairline fracture quaking
Strip me bare
no need to even touch me
for the vapors of
your voice
remove the layers
of debris
like the steam of earth
irons out
the blackened quilt of sky
to reveal
the altar
           of our
stars

Do you know that feeling
of familiarity
that quickly turns into
perplexity?

Like when you stare
at an unsuspicious word
a minute too long
and then suddenly,
you start to *doubt why it's spelled that way.

I don't think
that I will ever
feel that way with you.