You caused me
This pain

I think
ThatS where we are ?

If you are
Asking

The pieces of my memories of you
Linger against the darkness,
Like a custer of stardust,
that gradually forms a ghost of you
I wish to forget.

Perhaps,
I should just dust you away,
let you chase after some better dreams,
and give into the left over abyss.
Slowly sinking,
drowning,
losing consciousness,
losing all of my false joy and true regrets,
losing all that once were,
or could have been.
Losing almost all of me,
until the slumbering calm finally sweeps over mercifully,
leaving behind only the ghost of me
in its wake.

And then,
Suddenly,
I would realize,
We would finally be the same.

I write my sadness
   To help explain

Without pen and paper
   It's just a stain

She has smiley fiercesome eyes
She could melt any walls with it.
Her smile has eyes of its own
It flashes like neon and cinders.

From a dense crowed
The aura of her presence could be read.
A silence of her Loud!
In the pureness of Oneliness her soul is lead.

There was a change;
of weather it seemed and a dull reigned
Her face was drained;
Of life and the blossoming therein slewed

Oh if only one could mop
This dew of sadness now rested on Her.
Using an elixir of hope
Maybe her smile will be reborn...Alas!

I forgot how it felt.
The aching of a chest as I lean over my patio wall.
Having an affinity with the dust in my throat
That burns along side of my eyes
And you dont know,
But it was worse when you left.

Five.
My dark blue comforter.
My closet door.
The light switch.
The cigarbox on my night stand.
The ***** laundry in my hamper.

I forgot how it felt.
To not breathe when trying to catch as much of the stale air in my bedroom as I could.
Residing there were residual hearts in residual pieces.

Four.
My sheets
My bed frame
The rough carpeting
My cat who disappeared because of the noise.

I forgot how it felt to feel like youre dying.
When anxiety turns into losing your ******* ****.
Because you lost it and you're alone.

Three.
The hum of a ceiling fan that barely works
Scratching of a pen on paper
My breathing and soft whispers that dont matter.

I forgot how it felt.
To feel useless and filled with an intense self loathing
Because I saw your eyes lined with red and watched you walk away - my voice not carrying to call you back.

Two.
My (your) pillow.
My comforter.

I forgot how it felt
To close the door and fall to the floor because I didnt work anymore.
And to know, buried deep under this weeping,
That you wont forgive me.

One.
Salt.

I forgot how it felt.
To feel like I'm dying.

Fraud happiness, can no longer pretend
Alone in this world, no real friends
Living within a dream, can’t wake up
Giving in to life, no way for a shape up
Losing balance with thyself, no living purpose
Demolished by close ones, everlasting feeling worthless
See into your soul, how can one be this empty
Trying to move on but death is tempting
Rivers cried, pain overbearing
Existence died, life over whelming
Eyes open outside, soul’s dead asleep within
Unable to understand, most impossible to convince
Nothing without you, the lifeline for my heart beat
Lost for so long, awaiting the perfect eye to see