i was living in a fantasy world

until i met you.

you made me see the world 

or the reality of life. 

you made me see

you, my reality.

I was sitting there thinking about oneness.
I’m not sure what I was thinking about or if it could even be considered thinking in any kind of meaningful way.
It was just a vicious cycle…how, how not, how?
I was thinking so hard I let my hand brush the curve of my breast—and he noticed.
His eyes glanced and flickered and the flicker said,
“what just happened?
Was she thinking about something?
Was she thinking about me?
Was it for me?”
then he remembered I was contemplating oneness
and everyone else
was contemplating oneness
and this is not the time nor the place.

When all we had to show from
several sunlit days
was skin burned red from heat
we learned to avoid the light,
learned that freedom breathes
in darkness, where shadows cloak
secrets and we become blinded
by anything beyond this warmth
of togetherness.  Light limps
toward us in the demands of dawn
so we hide beneath the shade
of trees, and in the rustling of branches
during storm the wind sends her message,
barely a sigh in the rumbling thunder
but something about white flags
and the closing of curtains.
But I won't surrender, for in nightfall
I've discovered that I don't need
candles or stars
when I have the glow of your eyes.

Me
I quickly tap my screen to respond to your message
"I'm absolute garbage and I love you."

You
Your fingers softly brush against the keys as you type out your reply,
"You're absolutely beautiful garbage and I love you more."

Me
I thought that things would be different with you; you were so much more compassionate
"I think I'm in love with you."

You
You hesitate as you read my message, unaware of the stars that were forming in my mind at the mere thought of you
"I'm not in love with you."

Me
I read the message with my brimming eyes and soon enough, I hear the explosions in my ear of the galaxies that once formed when you told me I was an unexplainable force of nature that everyone was wary of.
I also hear the slow thudding of my heart in my ears before everything fades away and becomes numb.

You*
You sit there, quiet and in deep thought
You heard the planets imploding all the way from your bedroom
But all you did was shrug, shake your head and turn up your music.

I
Can't
Find
My
Keys
She said so slowly
As she crumbled
Down the
Staircase
While
We stared
At her

If he needs it, I got it, and i'll give it to him.
If he wants it, I got it, and i'll give it to him.
If he asks, i'll say yes.
I'll put my pride aside, and ride it.
No feelings.
You're having a bad night?
Lose yourself inside of me, literally.
Maybe being under you, and it being so rough, will make me forget the last time, the last feelings of love.
I don't want you and you don't want the strings,
but we can **** every Saturday night at the cemetery.
I'll help you, while you're helping me.