The deeper the veins
of a silent rising
fountainhead reach,
awaking a muse
more chilling
than the truth
    in the blood ―
a  cold
stillness stirs
that lets me
feel  an
unheeded sigh
cast in the wind

A breathe
of words
from a sudden
burst of silence,
tossed like a
handful of dust
lost in a rush
  of wind ―
a  beclouded
murmur fleeted;
holding your breath
as the aching
passion
manifest,
no longer
containable

I really wonder
if you even know
or care
who's behind
the dark
     cracked glass ―
you learn to live
with what’s broken
   to survive...
learning to look
in the eyes
of a dark horse
in a tight-lipped mirror,
to hear what’s
pushed back down
unswallowed

Staring down
the muted throat
of the voiceless;
feeling the anxiety
of held breath,
turning blue
afraid to exhale

If you look
at these words
and remember
there was nothing
left to lose,
then you'll see
     the meaning ―

I don't need
to hear you
tell me to re-lock
all the doors
I wish I never opened;
knowing there are
still moments
when it leaks out
of my silence

Someday,
at first light,
a songbird
hearkens
the morning
dew's passage;
  I’ll take heed
a song
of deliverance
and rise up
  from
  bended knees ...

but right now
I’m still learning
how to live alone


Jesse e Stillwater

The day I was born
Is the the day Pandora's box was open
I came here and with me all the evil
All the misery,despair,sorrow.

Can such a force cease fire,
When all is lost for help?
Forces to cease at all,
Where all the lost to dwell?
Firm water wells sought out,
With those above to quench.
All real and distorted,
They cast down the buckets.
What lies beneath are lies,
With no water pulled up.
Only a truth to see,
Masking the dirt below.
What such forces to cease,
Can they unstoppable?

I'm sorry I pushed you too far
That last night

You were hurting
And so was I
But I hurt you more
And pushed you too far

You couldn't take it anymore
Everyone mad
Everyone leaving
Everyone disappointed
Angry
Annoyed
You just couldn't take it anymore

So on that last night
You told me you did it again
I thought you had stopped
But that night you relapsed
I got mad
I was sad

I yelled at you
Over text of course
For it was long distance
So I couldn't really be there for you in the way you needed

You told me you wanted to die

I was mad

I said go ahead

I ended the skype call

I cried myself to sleep

Then I woke up and said sorry
But all I got in reply was
'He's no longer here'

So now I sit here
Remembering you
Fighting away tears

I don't want people to ask why I'm crying
For I pushed you over the edge
I pushed you a little too far
And now every once in awhile
I wake up in tears

For I remember your fears
They were losing everyone you loved

One of them was losing me or me bring mad at you

That last night I ignored your fears
And pushed you too far

Now I sit here fighting away tears
Whispering silently in my thoughts
'I'm sorry'