To the boy who slings beer near the capitol of Virginia:
I can't drink what you're selling, but
I do wish I could climb into your mind for a day.
I'd watch the colors pass by as you switch lenses,
as you understand the misunderstood,
as you explain all of that ignorance
that rents the space under the rug.
You made me dream with my eyes wide open.
These are the words I never said to you
and the words you needed to hear in the dark.
I missed the boat with you on it,
but I often wonder
if you ever care to go for a swim.

It all Happened in the abstract

That's the only place where it could get a Happy ending

How am i?
You want the truth?
I'm broken
Not the type you get when you didn't get your way so you're slightly disappointed. I'm heart broken. My heart is aching deep inside my chest, it trembles because it's now coming to terms with what my brain already knows.
How am i?
I am in pain ...
I have alot of physical ailments but nothing, nothing at all compares to crying yourself to sleep, waking up from sleeping crying, going through your day crying. I've cried for 3 days now.
How am i?
I'm trying to be strong.
Why?  I know if you knew how I really feel you'll be devastated so I lie, I tell you I'm doing okay, I'm great, fantastic...while  having..tears on my cheeks....so you can focus on you. I went to school trying to hide my tears but then I saw my friend and I broke down. I actually gripped at my heart and I told her it hurts soooo bad. My heart was beating like normal but yet it hurt so bad. I cried so much that I accepted it, class mates passed me and asked "Are you ok?" I said "I'm great, ignore the tears I have allergies".
How am i?
I'm hurt.
So so so so so so hurt. You wanted to stop hurting me so much that you decided to break my heart instead. I hate you for that.  You promised me you wouldn't break my heart. Then why am I crying everyday, why does my heart ache, why am I not eating....why am I in such pain.....why do I feel so.... empty.
How am I?
I don't know.
I'm so many things yet nothing all at once.
I wouldn't wish heart break on an enemy if I had any.
It's painful...no one deserves to feel like they're nothing,...
No one deserves to feel broken.




                                                     ­               Jonesy 2020 (c)

You give your heart away to the ones who already have enough love from others so yours may not mean anything. You left empty and it  is that vaccum that kills slowly. Accepting love from others that care may seem reasonable but the difficult part comes when you can't reciprocate the same love because yours has already been given away. Without knowing you have broken a heart already and that makes two people hurting. Life would be so much easier if you didn't expect to get exactly what you give. Just love everyone the same way Jesus loved the church. The ones you love don't love you and you love the ones that don't love you. Its karma. The cycle will go on, mental illness n depression will never cease. Why not open up to change. Don't give away your heart just give the love and don't expect the same thing in return. It's not risky at all coz love has never failed......not yet

my wish for yet another year
    apart from all the usual
    of good health luck success and joy
is that the news become more elevating
inform us less about what's going wrong
foreground the positive
not only the sensational alarmist frightening

in short
provide a better balanced view of our world
to make it clear from what is seen and heard
that even though
room for improvement on the globe is plenty
we can do it

A HAPPY NEWS YEAR 2020