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It all Happened in the abstract

That's the only place where it could get a Happy ending
The love that never happened
 Mar 3
How am i?
You want the truth?
I'm broken
Not the type you get when you didn't get your way so you're slightly disappointed. I'm heart broken. My heart is aching deep inside my chest, it trembles because it's now coming to terms with what my brain already knows.
How am i?
I am in pain ...
I have alot of physical ailments but nothing, nothing at all compares to crying yourself to sleep, waking up from sleeping crying, going through your day crying. I've cried for 3 days now.
How am i?
I'm trying to be strong.
Why?  I know if you knew how I really feel you'll be devastated so I lie, I tell you I'm doing okay, I'm great, fantastic...while  having..tears on my you can focus on you. I went to school trying to hide my tears but then I saw my friend and I broke down. I actually gripped at my heart and I told her it hurts soooo bad. My heart was beating like normal but yet it hurt so bad. I cried so much that I accepted it, class mates passed me and asked "Are you ok?" I said "I'm great, ignore the tears I have allergies".
How am i?
I'm hurt.
So so so so so so hurt. You wanted to stop hurting me so much that you decided to break my heart instead. I hate you for that.  You promised me you wouldn't break my heart. Then why am I crying everyday, why does my heart ache, why am I not eating....why am I in such pain.....why do I feel so.... empty.
How am I?
I don't know.
I'm so many things yet nothing all at once.
I wouldn't wish heart break on an enemy if I had any.
It's one deserves to feel like they're nothing,...
No one deserves to feel broken.

                                                     ­               Jonesy 2020 (c)
This poem is in the form of a journal entry. A story of a girl who is coming to grips with being broken.
 Feb 18
Poetic Eagle
You give your heart away to the ones who already have enough love from others so yours may not mean anything. You left empty and it  is that vaccum that kills slowly. Accepting love from others that care may seem reasonable but the difficult part comes when you can't reciprocate the same love because yours has already been given away. Without knowing you have broken a heart already and that makes two people hurting. Life would be so much easier if you didn't expect to get exactly what you give. Just love everyone the same way Jesus loved the church. The ones you love don't love you and you love the ones that don't love you. Its karma. The cycle will go on, mental illness n depression will never cease. Why not open up to change. Don't give away your heart just give the love and don't expect the same thing in return. It's not risky at all coz love has never failed......not yet
Random thoughts
I love art and poetry ts a time to express who I really am. i love my bed as it’s a safe place to feel warm from the chill air. I love to get away to  the countryside sap  up all its beauty and tranquilities a place to chill from the busyness of life. The freedom to roam into the unknown. I  like my cup of tea in fact I drink so much I often run to the loo. My husband Charlie often says is your tongue hanging out meaning another cuppa. Trouble is if you have a bicuit or two you seem to forgot the added carlories until the scales creep up. I love too watch tv but certain programes not soap ******* that fills your head with junk I love getting  a letter for my birthday I know exactly what it will mean . I love to meet my daughter for a chum round the boring supermarket and a cuppa and a heart to heart. I love to spend time with my grandchildren reading my funny stories about mr ketchup which is really about myself .
 Jan 20
Cynthia Jean
Healed by the tsunami of Your Love

Let it flow through us all

That we might touch everyone around us.


Cynthia Jean January 2020
 Jan 20
guy scutellaro
she puts her toes
to an imaginary line
raised by wolves
she chews to the bone
my wish for yet another year
    apart from all the usual
    of good health luck success and joy
is that the news become more elevating
inform us less about what's going wrong
foreground the positive
not only the sensational alarmist frightening

in short
provide a better balanced view of our world
to make it clear from what is seen and heard
that even though
room for improvement on the globe is plenty
we can do it

 Dec 2019
Poetic Eagle
Sometimes excess love becomes toxic
Moving closer to an obsession
 Dec 2019
Poetic Eagle
Stone hearts love the hardest
And may never break
Get e saying that I'm cold hearted a lot
 Dec 2019
Poetic Eagle
I can't expain where it hurts
I can only feel my heart thundering trying to escape
As l become weak and spend hours sleeping trying to get it in place

Could this be just sadness
I hurting just cant explain where
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