Since the day I awoke, within myself,
among the dead men, walking amidst the beginnings ending,
into a more serious version of mine
self... there I awoke.
Now in my forties / a toys-r-us type of young homie, I carried on without worry;
the laid back kid--type of guy,
who’d love to be in love with love,
the romantic idea of... a perfect kiss supernovae.
Something more than the mundane now,
We’re all at war with our doubts,
the lies every ****** person is spewing out
I wanted more than something not like this.
Why wake now, now when everything
begins to end / the child now must grow up. (Freudian)
Do not be depend/dent.

Alone alive / separated from that human connection,
feeling complete, a recognition of precious lives all the same,
or somethin’ intrinsic to mortality
every requiem Dream ...

All as one as life as grand as vast... as love,
as cosmic as... heaven up above.
Since that day I woke,
I begin to miss it the most, to be more
Participating
That human experience, once carefree & dreamlike
Paradise,
we are amiss of the truthfulness of it
We still sadly resist, existence still imperfect
Life already dismissed, taken,
advantage / playing pretend
losing Love to survival mode.
I feel lost, yo!  without that feeling connected...
Fathers and sons, bro to bro, each other know, y’know?
Since the day I awoke

to childhood’s end, at war
with the souls of men, again ourselves we harm,
the pain without... and on earth, a home,
A world full of soul...
plurals about, praying to one,
just one to know. To heart.
Since sad these bitter times just before the night,
let us bask in the last rays of Golden
sun, the light t’while the green miles
before we are undone... before
Any hope of getting woke
Humanity as a whole...

At war / in hell—a hell of pitch dark,
drowning in the black
The fear, the space time, its infinite width
that men want to claim / themselves define
It’s shores polluted skies ...

(****** upon to gorge, we parasites blind)
Men made / manifest more a destiny beyond barbarian,
past angst and hungry
For purpose, for a shared experience as a whole / a world,
For something more than what’s real, made here,
earth bound and heavy...
I awoke.
As Human as Experiment, flagella in Terra’s petri-dish.
Amidst the suffering, our beautiful breakdown, I awoke.
I see it now, now at dead ends... here’s looking forward to childhood once again. Before. Gone.
Only human. An oxymoron,
I am the great experiment.

This burden is too great, I find betrayal such a heavy load. Tis not enough to say that I can pray it away, when the devil lives just down the road.

Abort mission, reboot, we’ve lost control
Where are the procedures, refresh the protocol!
It seems like this civilization has been deemed unstable
Question is, are we really competent and able
To protect our planet and all that we hold dear
No, we ain’t, unless, under duress, we fear.

This coronavirus was like a bull in a china shop
We were concerned about constantly being over the top
Performance, marketing, scales, and stakeholders
It seems we need to revise the strategy, dear readers.

So what now? Are we going to slow down and ponder?
On what we have to give up and offer to manage humanity
Or keep on being obtuse, dollar-oriented and benighted?
Decide to see inside ourselves and stand united?

‘Cause, guess what? When life as we know it will end
It isn’t the green note that you desperately clutch in your hand
That will save you from illnesses, grief, and sadness
Thus: We have to seek the pursuit of happiness
Which will always prevail, keep on smiling to the new day
All this frenzy will appease itself and soon be at bay…

Nancy, March, 30, 2020. Written from 12:03pm to 12:40pm

Sing to me
A sweet song of grace
A melody of youth
From a calmer place

A sweeping orchestra
Or whispering voice
Whatever you wish
I’ll leave you the choice

Just sing to me now
For a time and times still
That I might rise up
My duty to fulfill