I have said your name a thousand times in the empty belly of my apartment. My heart puked love on your wicked soul until it dried out and had nothing left.

Forgive my heart for never having the courage to walk away from you
But I could never fill all those empty voids or mend those shattered dreams

My skin could barely keep you inside..
But see..
I shifted my bones to make room for your insecurities and keep them warm until I could make you realize you have nothing to be insecure about

Your sighs held me together like an anchor
Your soul was the incomplete pages within my diary

I blame you
I blame you for my fingers stuttering everytime I write love
For my broken ribcage, from all those butterflies you gave me
For letting me drown within the depths of my own soul
For messing with my heart whenever it got back up its crutches.
I blame you

For these voids within me

The first time I tasted your name my demons were silenced
Something comforting about losing my soul to yours.
About wanting to bury my deepest insecurities inside you..
Something about the way my bones want to find shelter inside you..
About the way my body slaves for your words
The way your words make my spine fall apart & never want to resurrect again..
See..
I want to get high off your sadness & feed off your depression.
Let your sadness conceal in every possible bit of my soul
I want your lips to constantly make love to my thoughts..
My promises?
I will find beauty in your filthy unkept soul
I will never divorce my unspoken thoughts, that way silence never has to make room in our conversations..
    
You are every word that I cannot understand or seem to find definition for..
And your voice..Oh Lord
Your voice is a collection of words I want to ink all over my body
And your smile..
Well.. Its the closest thing I have ever had to happiness..  
  
Promise me you'll find beauty in my thoughts...
I think, secretly they adore you..

Relax darling its my time,
Stay calm and watch me,
Sit back and adore it all,
As did you in old days.

Your bones tilled and toiled,
Your heart pumped and paused,
Your tears rolled for tomorrow,
Lean back let me fix you.

Let those shoulders fall free,
I got your back and front too,
With all my heart ill be here,
Let me spoon feed you baby.

Oh look at those stars calling me,
Like broken pieced of diamonds.

Look beneath where i stand,
Well two steps after my feet.

I know not what awaits below,
But i rather sink than not know.

I can paint the darkness below,
With the colours born with me.

A place to be alone for myself,
Is all i need from magic and all.

Birds tweet tunes in my name,
Butterflies circle my morning sky.

To dream like the humans do,
And love like the humans do.

I stare at myself
And think:
What has the world done
To make me hate it like this?

I stare at myself
And answer:
Nothing. It has done sweet nothing.

"This is the problem,", I hear myself say.
Night unravels all the progress of day.
You and your problems aren't less important than me or mine...
That's just the thought in all our lives.

I'll wonder myself away from this heartbreak;
To a world where it doesn't exist.
Where no crying happens;
And the nights are sweet and long.

I'll wonder myself away from this heartbreak;
To a universe where the stars hold our future
Where no tears of sadness dare fall
And the bliss lasts forever.

I'll wonder myself away from this heartbreak;
To a life where happiness is rife
Where tears of joy run like waterfalls
And heals and cleanses our broken souls.

I'll wonder myself away from this heartbreak,
My dear,
To a new life where I know my worth
Where my potential is recognized
And where love overflows like streams.