Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
 Feb 2016
Little Bear
The windows broken, shattered in wrath.

The doors marred with holes were fists landed.

The floor tiles hold such sad memories..
such unforgivable, unspeakable things.

The corner of the room where I was beaten.

The bedroom where bruised skin and pain was normal,
the bed flipped over, the cot smashed.

The garden heard the screams of hate.

The living room where the ornaments flew, the tv smashed,
a knife held to my throat.

The front door where I was pinned and battered,
stopped from leaving.

The phone ripped from the socket, no calls for help.

The place in the kitchen were I cowered and
our home was ripped apart.

The kitchen tiles where I was made to scrub the floor on my hands and knees for over an hour, while my head was held down, banging it on the floor...
the day before my daughter was born.

The unforgivable words that broke my heart.

The day I knew I would eventually be killed...
and my children.

But, those days are now over.

And I am glad that they are.


Because today, that same window, it frames the prettiest bunch of daffodils.. and a cat...

The doors now hold the name plates for the happy children who's bedrooms they are.

I have washed that floor more than a thousand times and slowly,
it becomes clean.

That corner of the room holds a beautiful bookshelf with scented candles, flowers, my favourite reads piled high.

That bedroom is no longer mine.

The garden blooms with flowers and the grass grows, it is the place where I think the best. Where the birds feed, where our two bee hotels might need an extension...

The living room is my favourite place, such bright colours adorn the walls. Filled with art, music, books, more cats and the occasional dog..

The front door is where we leave for work and come home,
tired but happy. I have my own key.

The phone and number replaced, for when I call my friends and family. For when my children call home.

The kitchen floor, wood covers those scars, the floor will always be ***** no matter how much I scrub. My daughter is 14 and happy.

I cannot yet forget nor forgive the hateful words.

Everyday I know I was right to leave.

We are here...

We are happy and have begun to heal.

And so has our home.
Time eventually heals all wounds. And for the scars that are left behind, well... they must become the reason you move on and find happiness again. The things spoken have been the hardest to get past. I find it hard to trust anyone, but it is a work in progress... that too will come in time. We decorate our home with flowers, art, laughter, pets and music. It heals us. And it heals those places in our home that bare the invisible scars, the ones I can still see.
 Feb 2016
Pixievic
You are not inside my mind
Sometimes
I do things my way

It doesn't mean
I'm wrong
Crazy
Mis informed

Just different
Unique
Rare
The One & Only

Me

(C) Pixievic 2016
We are not all the same!
 Feb 2016
Pixievic
Deeds not words!
They cried in their protest
Marching on Parliament
Intent on their quest
To the corrupt politicians
Who recorded their struggle
But denied them the vote
And left them to juggle
Their lives that equaled
Less than their brothers
Where they had no rights
Not even as mothers
As wives they were thwarted
Their wages their spouses
They worked long hard hours
And still kept their houses
Tea on the table
Washing hung out
The children looked after
To their husbands - devout
They stood up for their choices
The injustice they faced
Were imprisoned & tortured
And fired in disgrace
Children were taken
Away from their mothers
Who were labelled as mad
Their opinions were smothered
Yet still they continued
To rally & fight
Secure in the knowledge
That they deserved rights
That equaled the men
That ruled their world
So they took up arms
And fists were curled
When one was killed
That brave young girl
Who in front of a horse
Her body she hurled
Votes for Women
Her banner announced
So simple & honest
The message pronounced
To hundreds of people
Who just stood & stared
As her breath left her body
The women prepared
To fight their fight
Be true to their cause
Take down the men
And change the laws
So thank you to those
Brave women of old
Who did what they did
Without being told
We now have the right
As women, to fight
Without risk to our freedom
And stand up for our rights!!

(C) Pixievic 2016
My Great Grandmother was a Suffragette - they were an amazing group of women in Britain  who campaigned for women's rights.  Deeds not Words was their battle cry! The movement started properly in 1901 but it wasn't until 1928 until women were given the vote properly (1918 saw a law that meant women could vote if they were over 30 & married) in 1925 the law was changed so that women had rights to their own children. In 1914 Emily Davison threw herself under the Kings horse in protest & was killed - this marked a change from peaceful protest to a more militant action. Women were imprisoned & tortured for their beliefs regularly force fed when peacefully protesting through hunger strikes. My GGM was part of this movement - it's her birthday today so I wanted to acknowledge what she & her fellow campaigners did -   Here ends my brief history lesson!!
It's funny how I forgot all of it in just a snap
That moments ago, I'm craving for it like it's some kind of drug
Then getting rid of it
The way I get rid of my thumb ******* habit.

I have learned the art of being numb
And taught myself to be contented of what I can only get
Right now I don't even know how to approach you
And I can't even look you in the eye.

I can't even remember the last time we talked
Without using that high pitch voices and grumpy faces
I can't even recall if you have ever
Told me that you love me.  

And now's a very different situation
Guess who's reaching out to me---YOU
But don't you think it's a little too late
To make amends and do what you should have done years ago?

Nothing's ever too late really
It's just that I can't retrieve that part of me
Who have always wanted this time to come by
'Cause all that's left in me is hatred.


Krystal Marcelo
*01/28/16
This is the third part of my "four-part" poem for my Dad. Just to burst this thoughts that right until now I never dare told him. I know that I'm not the only one who undergone this kind of situations so I hope you can relate to it. I hardly make it rhyme but I hope this gonna make sense...
Going back to the old days
I never dreamed of anything big
Not of wealth, not of fairy tales
But just a little space in your heart.

A chance to be acknowledged
A chance to be appreciated
And patiently anticipating for the day
That I would not be invisible in your sight anymore.

There's nothing ever mattered to me
Than to be called as a "daddy's girl"
Probably I idolized you so much
That I'm mimicking every little thing that you do.

From the way you sit on that little porch of ours
As you smoke there every morning
To the way you pull your shirt halfway to your chest
When it's getting terribly hot outside.

I even remembered that time when I went home sobbing
'Cause I heard a bunch of men,
Whom you consider your true friends,
Backstabbing you which made me mad and wanna hit them that time.

I have done everything---almost everything
But all efforts were all in vain
And that concept of reaching out to you
Just disintegrate in my system unknowingly.


Krystal Marcelo
*01/28/16
This is the second part of my "four-part" poem for my Dad. Just to burst this thoughts that right until now I never dare told him. I know that I'm not the only one who undergone this kind of situations so I hope you can relate to it. I hardly make it rhyme but I hope this gonna make sense...
Not a premature baby
But as tiny as a kitten
Incubated for the first few hours of existence
And told that might be dying.

Those mentioned before just added
To the reasons you dislike me
Aside from the fact that I'm a girl
And you have always wanted a boy for your firstborn.

I remembered the line from the movie 'Noah'
When Ila asked him why he spared the twins
And he said,"I looked down at those two little girls
and all I had in my heart was love
."
And wondered if you haven't seen that kind of love
When you looked down on me.

'Cause you held me in your arms
Without gentleness
Like I'm not vulnerable
Like I'm not from your own flesh and blood.

As I'm growing into my skin
The more I crave for your attention
For your affection
But I got nothing.

And as the day passed by
The more you made me feel how unwanted I am.


Krystal Marcelo
*01/28/16
This is the first part of my "four-part" poem for my Dad. Just to burst this thoughts that right until now I never dare told him. I know that I'm not the only one who undergone this kind of situations so I hope you can relate to it. I hardly make it rhyme but I hope this gonna make sense...
 Jan 2016
Pixievic
As you sit a top the branches
Of this ancient temple old and wise
Without a worry or a care
Shielding sunlight from your eyes
Can you see the woman down below?
Her face is full of fear
She has a tale she needs to tell
But, not one you'll want to hear
No fairytale of love and hope
This memoir from within
But a nightmare from which she waits
For her life to begin
You see, not long from now
Your childhood will be taken
And the person you confide it to
Will tell you you're mistaken
Your hopes, your dreams, your life
Will never be the same
But please believe me when I say
You are not to blame!*

(C) Pixievic 2016
Written as part of my healing process -  an oak tree was my 'safe place'
 Jan 2016
Pixievic
Just minding my own business
Standing in a line
With a basket full of shopping
In a headspace that was mine
When suddenly a voice piped up

'What you cooking love?!'

And being kind
I turned around
And stood gazing from above ....

Upon a short & greasy man
Who's eyes were firmly fixed
To the swelling of my *****
He really was transfixed!
I cleared my throat and said 'hello'
In an attempt to raise
That shiny head with thinning hair
From it's penetrating gaze

'Well I'm cooking chicken'
I said without a beat

'That's a shame' came his reply
'coz I don't really eat meat'

'This is for my family'
My response was firm & clear

'So you're not inviting me then?'
He said - without raising an ear

'Well no not really'I replied
Turning my back again
And then tap tap upon my arm
Hard enough to cause some pain
And so being well bought up
I turned again to face
This strange companion in my wait
To get out of this place

'I think you're very pretty'
He said - not raising up his head

'Ummm Thank you' I returned
Whilst fiddling with my bread

'So you know what really bugs me?'
He spat with quite some venom
'This thing that girls have got
Wearing double denim...'
'And all of these tattoos they have
Do they really think
That men find it attractive?'


Well - I didn't stop to think

I slowly turned my back again
And quietly pulled down a sleeve
And removed my arms one by one
Not wishing to deceive
And revealed in all its glory
The ink across my back
And glanced across my shoulder
To watch his fast backtrack...

I wear my self expression
Emblazoned on my skin
I am inked & I am proud
I'm not going to keep it hidden
So my advice to you is this my friends
If a date is what you seek
Talk to my face
Don't be rash
And don't call me a freak!!

(C) Pixievic 2016
"You never know when you might meet your soul mate" I was once told - so I make it a point to engage with everyone - not always a great idea!!
 Jan 2016
Pixievic
Die hard hipsters
Wildly clinging to images of
Adolescence
Regaling epic fables
Lost inside **** infested minds
Grazing shoulders with the
Super cool young things
Franticly plunging ahead
Towards perceived sophistication
Bearded dudes
Heads cocked at a jaunty angle
Whiskey in hand, lust in their eyes
Confrontation
Just one sip away
Painted princesses
With ***** smeared lipstick and beguiling costumes
Stealing glances in the direction
Of anticipated adulation
Dreamy trumpets from bygone days
Colliding with breakbeats
Deliciously intoxicating
Shimmering
Across dance floors
Bodies blending
Contorting in need
Cheeks flushed
From a desire to complete
Glorious in their absurdity
Pretension festers
Brilliance diminished
Hidden within conformity
And a compulsion to submit
Its Friday Night
The pressure is on
To 'be seen'
Where intention is necessary
But the encounter
Is
Everything

(C) Pixievic 2016
 Jan 2016
Pixievic
Waiting to Happen

Who is she?
This being
This life
In and out of existence with no real
Connection
A superficial exterior needed to shield
A crumbling, shattered spirit, hidden Underneath
There are no pieces
No fragments to paste together
Nothing inside but a void so deep it might never be filled
Be warned
This is a cruel and dangerous world
Where nothing is ever as it seems
I use words as weapons and then
For love
Other people's confusion will consume you
If you let it
When someone steals your soul
It is hard to find your way back
Retreat
Hide
Gaze out with a longing upon a fragile memory
Don't let the demons of insecurity
Feast on your dreams
Journey inwards with permission to see
Daylight
Rise again
From the ashes of reality on whimsical  wings
A masterpiece ......
Just waiting to happen

(C) Pixievic 2016
 Jan 2016
KnowLove
Apart, our Souls, they linger lost. My hearts demise, is what you cost. No sunshine, no colour, only lonely frost. That litters this Soul... aside Ive been tossed.

#TwinFlame

— The End —