Distance looms
In close proximity
A thousand miles away
Close enough to touch
Together alone
Alone Together
No words
Silence is deafening
A smile and a nod
Polite discomfort
Alone together
Together alone

Gray skies and broken rain
Sliding down the windshield
A lifeline ever-changing
Droplets, in contact they merge
Yet, some sit lonely, isolated
Only to be ****** into the paths of others
Left behind or swept away

left to ponder with too much time
minutes tick by like days
and forever seems a possibility
while waiting for tomorrow

A heart that reaches out through the years
One that regrasps what it never truly let go
Thoughts ignite to fuse the past to the present
Melded emotions in a blended reality
Emotion so heightened that time is lost
United through lost years by the memory of what never was
Separated now only by what was lived apart
Betrayed by passion, hindered by commitment
And enveloped in the dream of the possibility that lingers

Do not let me trust your
Mouth full of lies
Kisses of saccharin-sweet hemlock
Eyes of angelic innocence
And heart of iron, forged in Hell
Set me free before you hurt me
Let me go and fair thee well

The black sky turns navy, turns blue
It is tomorrow
Today is yesterday
Yet it does not feel in the past
Still fresh, it lingers
It taints the morning with its unanswered questions
With its thoughts weighing heavily in the air
It is hard to breathe
Barely notice the rising sun
Roosters crow in the distance
Cold permeates the room
Seeping through the walls,
Like a ghost of Christmas
Chilled and Aged
Not as fine as wine
More than sour grapes
May the heavy head be cleared with the fog

Never have I been the best at hiding how I feel.  There is no peaceful game.  My face reveals the truth.  Never to be doubted.  Nothing left to wonder.  Still, I reign it in.  I stifle my reality in an attempt to keep you close.  So tender-hearted beneath that thickening shell.  The shell I penetrated somehow.  Once you found me in your heart, you pushed with all your might.  Trying to get me out.  I cannot be budged. Yet, I am not free to love you.  You refuse to let me be yours in theory or practice.  You love me, but not by choice.  Fear of the possibility of pain keeps you at bay.  Yet saving yourself from pain has deemed my own inconsequential.  For running from me pulls out my heart.  

Pushing me away
What's best, or just what's easy
Burns holes in my soul

Not one to take the easy way out.  Suffering to love you.  There is no expectation of love requited.  There is nothing but a dream, part memory part wishful thinking.  Hot needles still poke at me, slowly breaking me down.  Weakening my very being with the sharp jabs of stinging words or careless action, or worse...absolute inaction.  I have learned to stop expecting the "Morning Sunshine" or "'Night Darlin'" that used to brighten each day.  Those thoughtless things, the tiny nothing things that let me know I was on your mind.  So far from nothing those nothings were.  Days and nights seem incomplete in their absence.  Weaning to make your days bearable makes mine unendurable, empty, and melancholy has come to underlie all things.  

Joy of love melts ice
Heat smothered by a tear cloud
Threadbare soul survives

Challenges faced sideways leave blind spots. Choices made by indecision.  Letting mistakes be made, watching as they choose wrong. I see the truth and know what I know.  Everything is aligned for my own misfortune.  For as a bystander, I lay no claims.  Anything I do will hasten the inevitable.  So I let the weaning drip down to nothing.  Reluctantly I watch as you disappear with my heart in hand.  I stood firm as you ran away in place.  You turned to me, you needed me, you loved me.  As the clouds dissipate and the sun creeps over the horizon, With the blue sky I turn to mist. Slowly fading to the past.  A ghost of could've been, used to be, and never was

**Surrender takes time
                        Reluctantly relinquished
                                               I will fight no more

Behind those eyes of blue-gray-green
Lies a heart of which is seldom seen
Though hard for some to realize
There's a world of pain behind said eyes
From drama of torn childhood
From doing bad but being good
To grown up tears of discontent
From words once spoken but never meant
And now with empty bottles past
With clarity one hopes will last
Can be seen a glimpse of inner peace
Of eager joy which begs release
Though years of numbness linger still
Denying freedom to laugh at will
A perfectly polished yesteryear
Cradles everything the heart holds dear
The memories of warmth and fun
Tarnish easily out in the sun
When walking backwards leads you blind
One can never leave the past behind
The farther away the better it seems
Even the nightmares look like a dream
Now, when walking heel to toe
Facing the way you want to go
The road's less bumpy for the ride
Obstacles faced with longer strides
The light behind those eyes still burns
As chapters end and pages turn
The book continues day by day
Joy slowly rises come what may
Living is what makes us strong
To do what's right when we've been wronged
And though that pain may never die
There's no place left for it to hide
It's worn dull by loves embrace
Displaced, in time, with joy and grace
And then those eyes of blue-gray-green
Will sparkle new with brighter sheen
For a heart that's swelled to greater size
Will be foretold behind those eyes

Snuck in like fog and enveloped me in slumber
Tainting my dreams with every breath
Losing myself as I exhale
Filling me with the truth of desire
Pulling me deeper into the beautiful nightmare-
Turned hopeful longing
For to become a part of you as you breathe me in
Is all that there is

Build* your *new illusion
                                       on
                               The bones of your **reality

heart pounds like crashing thunder
at the mere thought of the idea
blood burns hot
and time stretches through space
our eyes meet...again
and steam fills the air
a quick lean without a flinch
and electricity breathes life
into a wink and a nod
and the nerves rise
a smile, and blood rushes to the surface
hands gracefully glide over flesh
chain reactions need no words
a gasp and a sigh
attest unspoken passion
lips meet and sparks fly
as breath is stolen, so is a kiss
then so is one more
dancing tongues and fireworks
synergy and floods
blood drains to fill
and fills to feel
the heat rises
taking with it the knowledge
that tomorrow is when "never" comes