I took a walk with life today
and found that we
are all connected.
I took it’s gentle hands and
whispered calmly beneath my breath:

“you are beautiful”

and then all at once-
the constant commotion
unfolding around me
came to a surrender.

I found myself staring at
solutions and all of the
questions that follow.

I am floored
by how simple
life can be.

There are no answers
and this is the
meaning to
everything.

We live and
we breathe and
we hold on until
it’s time to
let go.

This is not a cycle.

This is not
evolution.

This is not aging
just to die
and this is not
the human condition.

This is the experience.

This is the lifetime.

This is what we are
granted.

I long for a comfort
that I will never feel
and resent it
for it never being so.

I wonder how long
I have to go
and even then-

I am wrong.

There is so much
going on
and the cars keep
hauling
and the grass
keeps growing
and the moon keeps
setting and
the sun keeps
rising and

the story
goes.

I am not immortal
and I cannot capture
every moment
as I’d like to
and I know that
this is
okay
but as long
as I’m alive-

I’ll continue to strive
for something
better than
myself.

Even if it’s
not what I
deserve.

in a field of daisy bells ,
where the hopes are laid,
there has been a thunderstorm,
that abolished them all away.

And when you
            love someone;

their name
begins
to sound like
a song that
never leaves
       your
            head.


-Andrew Durst.

When I was really young
I used to always sleep
With my face toward the wall
And my back toward the rest of the room.

I remember always being afraid of the dark.
As if something or someone else was always with me in the same room.

I never turned over when I heard a noise or saw a shadow.
I was always scared that I'd see "someone" or "something" standing in the corner of my room looking directly into my eyes through the thick darkness that devoured my bed room.

I was only 7 years old.
I had no idea that monsters and fairy tales were all makeshift beliefs for people's entertainment.

Trying to sleep every night was pure hell.
Always thinking that every sound was made by a ghost,
Every shadow was casted from the boogie man
And that every feeling or sensation my nerves collected from anything other than the bed was the demons and monsters touching me, waiting for me to fall asleep.

If only I knew then what I know now.
That every fear and nightmare I ever had
Was actually something to laugh about.

dreams are like wishes
wishes we want so badly to come true
wishes of love and faith

dreams are like the opposite of reality
the opposite of the truth
they set you up for disappointment
sadly

dreams are the way our minds try to mock us
to make us depressed inside
to make us realize life is a big game we can never beat

that's what dreams are
yes they are magical
but they are just dreams