my memory - Hello Poetry

6d

CantSeeMe

sharp vision
that's the mission

glasses before my eyes
to fix every mistake
simple and wise
corrections small
for one other call

positive
negative

close and far

my eyes are in war
they have fought
I stressed them out

till everything comes back
blurry so bad

blink

#eyes #glasses

6d

CantSeeMe

22:49 hello poetry

staring at a screen
it says ‘bad gateway’
what does it mean?

I don't know
but I've seen this before
that's why I'm in
survival mode
it's gonna be okay
I'll just take the next road
left

writing poems...
in my head

#hellopoetry #error #badgateway #502

Aug 17

CantSeeMe

butterfly

you lay on my finger
pitch-black and ginger
tiny but great

most of us would think it's fate
that I’m
a princess
just like in Disney
painless
and
fearless…
wearing a dress
a crown and a corset

but I know better
I'm just a girl in a sweater
you don't like me
you just like my fear
the salt of my sweat
so you could taste it
like sweets

but little did you know
sweat comes with a reason
but your wings still bow
and I don't frown
I just sit and observe
I don't deserve
this
so you fly away
but I still hoped
you would stay
but maybe we'll meet
next season

“sweat comes with a reason”

Yesterday a butterfly came on my finger again...

#butterfly

Aug 17

CantSeeMe

I've watched you die

death in books
it changes my mood
maybe even
how I look

it reads like it's real
I just wanted you to heal…

these days
I've watched you die
though we didn’t even say
goodbye

but did we
ever say hello?
I'm sure you did
but I think
mine didn't fit

I've watched you die
on the couch
you didn't know me
you couldn't even see
someone was there
right next to you
listening free

I've watched you die
my eyes went crazy
always thought I was shady

don't trust me

I spy on you
never talk
only stalk
read your mind
so I could find
a great light
something bright

empathy
for you

they say it was right there
where you've died
on the other side
but I know

I've watched you die
on the couch

all I have of you
are words
letters
together
in chapters

I've watched you die
but you still exist
Don't you?
your name holds a story
you don't have to worry
I remember

I remember...

Sammie McCoy died of illness: het geheugenboek by Lara Avery

Annie killed: meisje vermist gevonden by Stefanie Sybens

Megan Harris car accident, hit by car: hou me niet vast by Wanne Synnave

Parker Bennet suicide: hou me niet vast by Wanne Synnave

Madame Manec natural death: all the light we cannot see by Anthony Doerr

Werner Pfennig stepped on bomb: all the light we cannot see by Anthony Doerr

Sall Sigh killed: a good girl's guide to ****** by Holly Jackson

Andie Bell choked on *****: a good girl's guide to ****** by Holly Jackson

Bianca Di Angelo sacrificed: the titan curse by Rick Riordan

Zoe nightshade: the titan curse by Rick Riordan

Luke Castellan sacrificed: the last olympian by Rick Riordan

Jason Grace sacrificed: the burning maze by Rick Riordan

Stanley Forbes/Jack Brunswick killed: good girl, bad blood by Holly Jackson

Rue Brownlow sacrificed: the hunger games by Suzanne Collins

Augustus Waters died of cancer :The fault in our stars by John Green

Jason Bell killed: as sweet as the death by Holy Jackson

#death #book #reading

Aug 15

CantSeeMe

Spooky town

ancient houses
old with mouses

no human soul
only coal
used to stove
patisserie

traces of
a metal brick
on wheels it is
the leather so tick
for comfort to sit
under the bridge

old-school curtains
from lace
crossed stitches
handmade
from the itches
to create

in dutch we would say “there was no cat”
but in fact there was

two friends in a spooky town
a cat and a dove
playing the game of the mouse

writing some memories from my vacation... in hope I don't forget

#spookytown

Aug 15

CantSeeMe

Pumptrack

wind in my face
doing this since
I was half my age
sweat on my forehead
warmth from the helmet

moving fast
while
passion lasts
going up
going down

massage under my feet
cause the beton can't beat
all off the speed

make me small
so I won't fall
my knees low
wheels will grow

rollerblades
inline skates
rolling shoes

call them all what you want
make another brand
I still stand

#skating #pumptrack #rollerblades #inlineskates #sport

Aug 10

CantSeeMe

I remember

it was dark and tender
my dad next to me
I was five
so free
at the driveway
we be

at some point
of the night
we looked upon the sky

I don't know why

we looked at the north
I saw a star so bright
with the colour of light

I looked him in the eyes
and said
“that's…grandpa”
flying so high

he said “no”

that's the northern star
it will always be
the brightest of them all
it's there when you seek
a guide to peek

when you've traveled so far
where no one can fish
when you wonder
‘Is this… ?’
or
‘What if…?’’
remember the star
that's it

An evening in the driveway of our house with my father...

I can't remember many of my memories...
I used to remember all the bad things, now I've forgotten them too, but I still remember this one.

#northernstar #sky #night #northstar #polestar

Aug 10

CantSeeMe

Just tell me (a story of a language)

my dad taught me English

just one time
I was at the age of nine
or maybe six
three
or two
I have no clue
it’s his first language
or something close to it
from Cuba, China, Canada,
to college in the Netherlands
and meeting Belgium for the first
not only for thirst
but because it’s a place
called home
for my grandparents
cause at the end
you always come back
to what you’ve had
I guess that doesn't rhyme
but It's fine

when I was twelve
I had to go to language camp
trying to learn
the language that has burned
on the soul of my dad
don't get mad
I came crying home
practice was needed
one week
not enough

so after summer turned
school returned
English I learned
while I sat on that chair
in the seat over there
pen and book
it was terrible too
but after three years
I could finally say
"How are you today?”

not special for sure
just studying this
everyone can do it
but I hope someday
I can make him proud
when he won't shout
when I make…
a misssteaaacke

I'm sorry

My dad speaks dutch with me, but with his siblings he still speaks English...

#language #english #learning #studying #disappoint

Aug 10

CantSeeMe

Almost a happy child

excited I got
looking forward
wouldn't stop
could almost touch
the dream I saw
behave I will
follow the drill

two months to wait
turned with one call
no faith
three years -it changed
older I get
let's see what's left
in 3 years
no drafts
a sketchbook full
of practice deep
sketches weep
still I will follow free
the path
for me

a dream that broke
so much to choke

discrimination it is
but I won't miss
they made a choice
but I have a voice
write it down
with rhyme, not frown
the truth I speak
without a leak

The story behind:

Drawing is kind of the only thing I have some confidence in. Because the only way to become better is practice. And I'm in some really weird world if I draw, I like it that way. You look. And if you really see it, you draw it. That’s how it works.

So when I found a drawing course that focused on really seeing,drawing realistically, cause that's what I like. I got excited. Finally, something where I fit into. Something serious.

But then…
They called my mom.
Said I was too young. 18+ only.
Could have made an exception if I was 17
But no way a 15 year old could come in. They never asked to see my art. Never cared how I draw. Just: “Too young.”
And “the teacher doesn't want you.” So I’m not getting in.

But that's not stopping me :)

This vacation, I’ll practice.
With some silly YouTube videos and some from real professionals, I will try every **** thing until, maybe some year sometime I could get in a class.

#art #dream #drawing #discrimination #almost

— The End —