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 Jun 2015
South-by-Southwest
When I was small
   and I knew it all

When life was fast
   and nowhere to go

I just see myself looking back
   through the rear view mirror

And : When "Then" turned into "Now"
And : I'm not so sure about anything now
And : I want life to slow down
And : Last , taking forever to get here

   It was fear looking back
   In the rear view mirror
 May 2015
Mike Hauser
when it comes to Facebook
i no longer like
finding social media
takes up to much of my time

and in today's society
how many peak in for a look
at what their friends are doing
making them feel they've kept in touch

or how we Snapchat our activities
and in seconds it is gone
i ask can you picture that
if not Instagram's not far off

and if your in a hurry
with the words you have to say
in no time you can tweet it out
then soon be on your way

all this newfangled socializing
is anti-social at its best
never to deeply diving
yet still wearing our masks

please don't get me wrong
social media does have its place
it's just sometimes in this book
we all wear a different face

and no amount of liking
can real time face to face be replaced
 May 2015
Mike Hauser
Where did she go this time
This seamstress of the rhyme
Did she just up and quit
Had enough of it
Decided to move on
Flipping the silver coin
That came up on heads
So that is why she left

Where did she up and go
This seamstress of the poem
Did she even bid farewell
Tell us all to go to...
Hello are you out there
I'm in my underwear
That may be T.M.I.
What I won't do for a rhyme

Why did she have to part
This seamstress of poetic art
Since the day she went away
Things round here ain't been the same
Sitting here wondering what is up
Cause I miss Deborah very much

Oh and the part about me in my underwear now burned into your mind
Any good Shrink could erase that given enough money and time
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
1. Take care of your teeth and gums
Brush & floss, everyday (Seriously)
Keep your teeth, if at all possible.
They are your very own precious Ivory.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
2. a. Eat well. Do not deny your body
nourishment. Gals, you will want a nice
set of *****. Trust me...eat.
b, Try to not put on too much extra weight.
(no judgement here) Just that it is very
******* your body. Ridiculously
difficult to lose when you're older.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
3. Love the skin you live within.  Try not to
bake your bareness too long in the sun,
or burn your precious epidermis.
Cleanse, exfoliate. Most of all, drink plenty of water and moisturize, moisturize, moisturize
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
4. Hang on to all of your bones.
You will miss them when they are gone
Take care of your hands, neck, hips and knees.
Once your joints wear out, it's a total ******.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
5. Keep movin' and groovin'.
If you stay still too long, you will get stuck
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
6. Find the humor in everything. It is there!
All of life's lessons placed before you.
When all else fails, you can laugh about it.
(Trust Me. Your going to need this one)
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

~Christi Michaels~May 2015~
Copyright © 2015 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
☆Retrospective☆Sage Advice☆
all information learned by trial and error
 May 2015
Musfiq us shaleheen
~~
..
When the Beauty I See
In the Land and the Sea
Even the Flowers to be
But not like She

When the Love I See
Within the Flower and Bee
Even in my Heart to be
But not like She

~~
..
@Musfiq us shaleheen
 May 2015
Mike Essig
The stranger said "Love it can cry you a river -
Me, I'm a loner cause I can't take the heartache
And sometimes I'm a fighter when I get too much whiskey -
Here have a little whiskey, pretend you don't give a **** -*

I am a loner and
sometimes a fighter,
but there is
not enough
whiskey in the world
to drink you
out of my heart
or  allow me
to pretend
I don't give a ****
or to ignore
the heartache.

I take my pain
like a warrior:
straight up.
  ~mce
RLA
 May 2015
Mike Hauser
i'm going to change the name
of this poem throughout the day

how much so it all depends
on how fickle a mood i am in

it's inner workings will stay the same
only the title i'll rearrange

of course this will not make much sense
but what have i writ that ever did

the intriguing titles may draw a crowd
but once inside and they find out

exactly what it is i've done
and of this poems value as being none

they may light their torches and then drum me
out of town if not hellopoetry

so here goes, hang on tight
this may end up a bumpy ride
 May 2015
Sjr1000
Pharmaceutical Commercial

A senior serene woman
with blissful eyes
lays down in a garden of dandelions and kale
spreads her legs to the warming sun.
"Lack of desire? Ask your doctor about Libidothan.
Side effects may include:
Nose bleeds
liver damage
heart failure
marry your daughter
make you touch your toes
stand on your nose
Grows hair on your head
Gives you *****
Grows hair there too
Makes you feel so funny
like a long neck goose
make you shout out
baby that's a what I like!

Inform your doctor
if it cures you or kills you"


Phone Tree
"Please listen carefully for our menu has changed. Your business is very important to us.

Press one to speak with the universal complaint department.
Press two to find out the exact moment and cause of your death.
Press three to find out who your lover is having an affair with.
Four to speak directly to god or Santa
Five to speak to satan.
Please leave a message.

This voice mail is not monitored.

Have a nice day!"

Pastoral Chic
(On the label of chicken parts)

The McDougal family farm
set in the rolling green hills,
Petaluma California,
Where small towns know how to live,
And neighbors take care of each other,
Our family farm,
Five thousand square feet
of slaughtered chickens
feeling the love of what it means
To be in a family farmers tender care,
From our ****** floors
to your dining room table,
From our family to yours
with tender loving care.
(No antibiotics/gluten free/humanely destroyed)
Please feel free to add your own.
"Feel so funny. . ."  Jerry Lee Lewis/The Big Booper; Chantilly Lace/jp Richardson, 1958.
 May 2015
Francie Lynch
Sure, it's easy to define life.
Explain everything using the variable,
X.
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