I've never fit in,
I never belonged anywhere
except to myself.

I can tear off my own skin
Pull my hair out and break my bones.
None of this will cause me to cry
Like the feeling of being alone.

Sitting in the dark
Make up running down my face
Crying so hard
My mind is a haze

Why do I do this
To myself
I think I'm crazy
I need some help

My hand is numb
And my body shakes
My wrist is ******
My wrist aches

I'm sorry
I know I promised
But I couldn't help it.....

She will smash
every wine glass,
they are broken
but not her heart.

She will walk barefoot
from room to room
while her feet are bleeding,
but not her heart.

She will drink him up
until her body aches
and her head hurts,
but not her heart.

I see
   I read

I poke fun

I
plead

I
*****

I gripe

I run
   I fight

I look
   I listen

I keep
   to myself

I find
    what's
       missin'

is
     I'm plural

i am constantly torn between killing myself and killing somebody around me

If only your arms
Held me true again
Our lips and
bodies entwined~
If we could remember
language once shared.
Find our rhythm divine

Yet we have climbed
these ravaged cliffs
Heartbreak Chasm
between~
A fragile bridge
of diminished connect
Crossed only in my dreams

Older now
in this state of suspense
To watch our love fall away~
A tender time for both of us
This loss of each
Precious day


Copyright © 2015 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved

I told a woman her child died. I told a mother her child will never be there again. I told a mother the bright beautiful dreaming girl she raised and watched grow is no longer breathing. I broke a persons soul. I told a father her princess died. I broke their soul as well. I made a promise to keep this princess alive and stand by her side no matter how much she hurt me, no matter how much she hated me at times, she wanted to **** near **** me and my friends, but I loved her. She smiled so delightly, she passed through days so peacefully. She wasn't sad truthfully she wasn't. I knew her like the back of my hand I knew every little sign every little thing about her. She wasn't sad entirely. No one can truthfully say they aren't sad deep down about something. But ive come to learn a thought, a thought of death, a thought of blood dripping down your arms, a thought of curiousity of who would care. Sometimes that thought that urge the need to find out is all it takes. The princess of my life. The light tk the worst times ever. Shes gone, no sign, no pulse, no hint of why. Her pale skin is ice. Her eyes are closer. Her hair is on the side. Her wrist on her waist. Her feet turned to the side. She fell, she fell to the ground. Her sweet voice is gone. She was a dreamer, a dreamer who actually made the dreams come true. She made life an ok thing. I don't know many who cant say she could rebuild the world if it fell. A strong girl died. A wonderious princess fell. I told the mother this princess has simply died.. The promise I made so much while ago became a thing to pursue blame. To tell a mother her child died. Well it haunts you for ever. You never get back the thing you are so delighted to have in your life. Its like ripping your life you made away from you and crushing it. Its torture.. Having a child die is one thing, having the child be yours. That's your death right there you don't life after that its only pure death from then on. The blame will mostly forever be put on me. Because of a promise I couldn't keep. But a little thing the princess taught me. Show your pain even if your high titled or looked up to cause what's a good hero with no emotion or realism. -Lovey