Like the surging wwwaves
Of an angry ocean..
My feelings are the same.

Wanting nothing better
Than to be swept away
By one of those waves.

.... And if by chance,
Under a wave I'll plunge
Beneath the sea.....
Clutching onto my last breath, gasping.

Knowing my existence on earth has ended
Trusting the spirit to unite me with the beginning
To answer every question I've ever wondered
Billowing in the wind like a fresh breeze.

Knowing my voice will never be heard again....
Only the brief murmuring that can only be heard...

....above the sea

waking up, drinking black coffee
trying to wash this darkness off me
hands shaking as i light a cigarette
these thoughts keep getting bigger yet

daybreak nightmare, nightmare daybreak
what does the night care?
just what a day takes

truth is, I don't know which is worse
sleeping in a nightmare, or waking to a curse
it acts out the same, forward or reverse
I guess the nightmares are my way to rehearse

daybreak nightmare, nightmare daybreak
what does the night care?
just what a day takes

waking up, drinking black coffee
trying to wash this darkness off me
hands shaking as i light a cigarette
these thoughts keep getting bigger yet

Take me as I am
Or take nothing at all
I’ve been conditioned by my environment
To fight, to run, or just take the fall.

Prisms of light encompass the sin
Rays of light that burn my flesh, in agony
Yet here, I stand, daring the worst to happen
Causing temporary blindness, now I can see.

You seem unapproachable when you so desire
Cuts my flesh with stabbing knives, severing my esteem
But that’s okay, I’ve been through much worse
I’ll take another ******* one for the team.

Wish you could truly understand, I’m real
Every disguise is transparent to you
But I realize that you have been severely wounded
And for me, the truth I know will come true.

Now the question is… will you risk it?
Or is there too much of your heart at stake?
No reason to continue to lurk beneath the shadows
I think that if I leave my guard down, my heart will be crushed and break.

You are beautiful to me
Even if you don’t believe it
I wouldn’t hurt you.. Even if I wanted to
Not that you would believe me.

see me
feel me
take me
reel me

hold me
protect me
think you can change me?

forsake me
challenge me
try me
humor me

betray me
forget me
try to love me
As you turn around, I'm gone.

Feel the fire on your flesh, burning, transforming your entirety
Keeping all your secrets, forever hidden from the ones that you choose to deceive.
And if you feel that he is getting too close, run away…. Far away..
Never be too far away from home, to truly leave.

There in the distance, there is a siren beckoning for you.
She has her hands out to embrace you, only to crush you.
Her velvet dress is plunging down, so deep  you can see inside her.
But, it’s never enough to make her want you as much as you want her..

Listening to the folk music in the distance …
I can feel the agony coming on to me again..
Could it be real “??   Could it be my fault, again.?
Seeking revenge through the strangest of ways.  

The rocks are so real, that the sailors think they are seeing a mirage
But in reality, they think they will truly live past this day
Gorging upon the flesh of the past in the true spirit of the future
Bent, solemn, tragic, metamorphisis of the human character.  
Dig deeper, into the humanity that is no more.

Lifting my eyes to the stained, blackness of  their souls
Freedom beckoning from a distance for miles
Sativa and honey dripping from the demons, black. toothless grins
As I ***** my empty stomach and wretching, green nothingness, human bile.

So go upon your merry way and sing while you die
Feel the ******* anger and bitterness eating your insides.
So then, you walk the plank, knowing your end is near
Never giving in to the blanket of fear.

Tell tale signs of forgiveness, that is rarely real.
Stop the *******, you don’t know how to feel.
You lost  your soul a long time ago, gave it up for a bag
Now your eternity is forever evil and you’ve lost your true life’s zeal

Love too much
Hurt too much
Always needing a heart to touch

Limitless sources of abundance so clear
No ability to cause you harm or unnecessary fear
Sometimes momentary blindness, inability to truly hear

Critical lapses of  excruciating, intensity from my vivid past
Try, as I might, to make the most healthy relationship last
As days turn into nights, I wish a moment of bliss with you that would last.

Not sure anymore, of anything that is real
Putrid, agonizing, annoyance seems to keep me off keel
Hoping, dreaming and wanting for my positive feelings to be real

Lustful thoughts of our time together feel ****** and surreal
In the midst of the anger and bitterness,  I realize I am able to feel.
Seductive, entranced, mesmorized with true love stamped within our hearts, forever sealed.

The dripping of the lukewarm indecision has grown old, decrepit and shames me in despair
Ready now for the realness of  a soul mate, never knowing one that cared.
So here it goes, where it ends, know one knows… now that my soul has been given and shared.

In the end, where I have always been
Crushed within the lions den
Here I am, nothing hidden, never knowing the why and when.

My heart is now yours and given of my free will
Never again will I have to trudge up  the loneliness hill.
The love that I seek has been found in you
With a light in our eyes, yours sparkling blue.

The things in my past that riddled me with fear
When the darkness replaced the light is no longer here.
I'm trusting you to love me and hope it is true.
This poem was written especially for you.