It's like a habit, done unconsciously
Do we even know, it is reactionary?
This breathing out with varying intensities
Could itself, be a tendency
Says a lot---it could mean anything, 
It could mean everything...
Speaking becomes a choice,
To hear, or not to hear one's voice. 

There's a sigh of admission
Or agreement...a signal of an ensuing confession,
Rarely comes with a nod or a smile...
We admire with a sigh
Our eyes, a sparkle it could never hide,
We give out a sigh of despair
When hopelessness permeates the air.
From disappointment, we frown
Our shoulders are down,
And when one is anxious, and wait-less
Limbs are so restless
Mind is unruly, followed usually 
By a sigh of anxiety.
When heart and mind have conceded
A sigh of surrender has succeeded
When what we see is beyond comprehension
And we.....have run out of options...

When the air is laced with sorrow
We sigh, and then tears follow
Because words refuse to flow
A sigh is all that we can let go.

We sense disrespect
A snort, we usually expect
As things, people, sometimes stray
And we sigh in dismay.

When what we feel we cannot utter
We exhale...it feels so much better
Sometimes, it is gentle...other times, violent
Could be like a shout...or one so fervent...

I ventured...thought of a lot more sighs,
They could fill my page...I could run out of rhymes
So I'm ending this poem with one...prolonged and high
Acknowledging...that a sigh is not just a sigh,
it holds words, actions suppressed, even ****** expressions,
Confusing....at times, giving wrong impressions,
Because...the true reason for the sigh 
Is known, only to the one who sighs.


Sally

Copyright March 2015
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan

You didn't look at me
When I said
Look at new horizons
You were already staring straight ahead
Breaking my heart
In a thousand
Pieces.

Shake The Foundation* bring it to the ground
When it falls it won't make a sound
Mind blown open share third eye site
Words filled with wisdom spiritual dynamite
What does it take for people to learn?
Wallow in pain in jobs we earn
Truth is always clear as can be
Does it take a Zombie Apocalypse to save humanity?
Walking Dead at heaven’s gate
Slowly transform into what we hate
People want someone to tell them what to do
Take a bite..taste...now chew
Minds not open only speaking what's spoken
Patterns get set..hmm they need to be broken
Text me all day conversation is never clear
I prefer to hear a voice in my ear
Relationships robotic bodies become toxic
Medication for profit who created this logic?
Revolution's rebel creates the next level
Wear a halo of an Angel with horns of a Devil
From ******* beginnings..born from sinning
Acquired spells to assimilate failure into winning
Illuminating eyes behind every one is a prize
Mind butterflies carried on the winds of wise
No energy does it take to spread the hate
When focused and applied can devastate
Watch me shake the foundation bring it to the ground
Drop bombs of love...Vibrate souls with my sound..

that it is a journey
Of
1000 miles

//                                            
She was sittin on the bed with the 200 lbs of
Macrame string that we managed to buy
At Fisherman's Wharf

With the help of 5 complete strangers

Who had showered us with the

Life altering kindness

You think really doesn't exist

( but it does ! )

//

And she said

DO YOU WANT TO HELP ME MAKE THE BELTS AND POUCHES ?

I turned to my brain and told it to tell my mouth

To say NO

Firmly ( but nicely )

I turned to her and said

SURE
WHEN DO WE START ?


//

JESUS **** !

I started screaming ( silently )

at my brain

YOU TRAITOR !

And you , MOUTH  !

You knew !  You knew !!

••

She became ecstatic !

And said

GREAT!
WE' LL START WITH ME TEACHING YOU
THE BASIC SQUARE KNOT !

//

I started to give my brain it's obvious instruction

BUT !

I blurted out

WOW !
I ALWAYS WANTED TO LEARN HOW
TO MAKE SAILOR'S KNOTS

//

I turned in a huff to these 2 fiends of brain and mouth

And said ( silently )

ALWAYS ?
YOU MADE ME SAY

ALWAYS   !?
A WEEK AGO WE HAD NEVER EVEN HEARD

OF SAILOR 'S KNOTS !!

///

Then the song
Of
JANIS JOPLIN
came to me

FREEDOM ' S JUST ANOTHER WORD
FOR NOTHIN LEFT TO LOSE ----

//

and I now had nothin left

My life was surrendered to hers

( due to the love and kindness of strangers ! )

••

But  ( you see )

There was a massive mistake in my calculations
( again )

You see

SHE
had ( unknownst to me with my selfish heart )

Made a similar commitment to me !

And / more and more /only asked me to do what
I really wanted to do

( even to learn to do macrame )

What I was afraid to do without encouragement

••

WE BECAME A       TEAM !

//

We both had different social skills

She was so unbelievably compassionate

She was so able to break thru people's fears
And enter into such trust inducing relationships

It seemed like magic to me

//

I was really good at organizing things

Setting plans

Seeing the picture of the goals
We needed to accomplish

//

In a certain sense

We never talked

--

A glance back and forth

A subtle gesture

//.

Complete unity

••

People would ask

HOW YOU 2 GETTING ALONG !?

ARE YOU IN LOVE !?

""

and we would look at each other and wonder

GETTING ALONG ?
IN LOVE ?

And not have the slightest idea what they were talking about !

//

And that might help explain
Why

When I read the poems here

I don't know what you are talking about

//

( not the slightest idea )

//

Like there is a weird thing happening
And then it gets weirder

And then someone gets upset because it gets weirder
But it was weird already !

••

And then the strangest vocabulary gets going

Trying to describe some feelings that are really only thoughts

About something that isn't really happening anyway

( or something like that )

••

So

On and on it goes !

I just try to be

Like those strangers on Fisherman's Wharf

Trying to make the magic

That is pure human kindness

//

To throw myself upon

The BARBED WIRE OF EGO

So that you might

climb my back

AND LEAP INTO THE FREEDOM
OF          INFINITY !