The prison you have painted around yourself
You don't even realize your in
When you lie to yourself you harm your mental health
Don't blame this on Satan or sin

I know how much she cares for me and I care for her to
But if I said I wanted to be with her that just would not be true
I can only go so far to make her night with my attention
In the morning there is emptiness
Because between us are different intentions
Yes I know the pain and the feeling of rejection
Which is why I lead her on this way but avoid a real conection

Tell me I should do my best
But I need no help to clean this mess
All this pain I must confess
Its not in vain it fuels success
Each mental hill each spiritual test
Will train my being until death
You can shine so bright and free
Once you beat back darkness, hate and greed

I guess life is much more simple when you never have to think
Your scared to open up your mind so you numb your fear with drinks

Don't dare to ask your inner self if happiness has found it
Because the truth is that your phony smiles are what your realness drounds in

All these expectations that your dieing to fulfill
Whatever it may take to fake it;  clothes or friends or pills

You tell me everything thing is fine
But when I look into your eyes
I see pain beneath the lies
I can tell you need to cry
Let it out don't run or hide

If to love you was a gamble, I would be all in
If wanting you was taboo, oh you know that I would sin
If it took miles and miles of climbing, I would not give in
Just to hold you darling I would **** a hundred men
But I know that as of lately you could never feel the same
So when I am around you, girl I go straight insane
I want you to be happy and happy you do seem
But I've never felt the same since the night you stayed with me
Did you want to crush me, did you try to lead me on
Or was I just an object to you, something warm and strong
You gave me hope of having you because right then I did
And despite all the pain it put us through I'd do it all again
Because it seemed so real
So genuine and clean
You made me so **** happy
Time spent with you was a dream

Soon I will find love again and probably get hurt
I hope your there to pick me up when I fall in the dirt
Maybe we can't be together, yes I understand
But I don't have to own you, I have no demands
I want you to be happy and I want to move on
But please don't ever think that means I want you to be gone
I still want to laugh with you about this mess called life
I still want to listen, and offer up advice
I still want to be a friend, not just a passing nod
Don't let one mistake you made make all that's right feel wrong

-When you start to spiral towards the hopeless
-You need to somehow gain new focus
-Because truth will always shine its' light and scatter lies like locusts
-Sometimes truth is not convenient but face it all the same
-Since the dawn of man our lives never have been tame
-We all owe it to each other to run this complex race
-Take a hand when it is offered and share the burden of your pain
-No one is the author, at least that's how it seems
-There is no rhyme or reason to the morbid and obscene
-But we CAN control our minds to shape how we perceive
-Happiness is our own choice, so breathe deeply and just be

Everything that happens has happened can't you see
Everything that happens to happen to you and me

Everything that happens they say happens for a reason
And when it does it brings a change and shift of seasons

Whether it is fate or all random in the end
Let's just accept the truth and realize now and then
Things like this happen and they happen fairly often
These things won't stop until your laying in your coffin

-People are beginning to do what I call awaken
-They all have understood by now that they were once mistaken
-Lost within their selfishness and blind to real relations
-That every being on this earth is a valuable creation
-You can't define your own self-worth with society's invasion
-Of your mind and spirit; a twisted slow persuasion
-You thought that all your value was built on superficials
-Like who you know and what you own and if you seem official
-But realize in the end that **** only hurts and stresses
-Deep within you's where you'll find solutions to life's messes
-Finding inner peace at last because you chose to choose acceptance
-Its feeling everything that comes because when you live life happens
-Its forgiveness, mercy, joy and pain
-Its sunny days and storms of rain
-Whatever happens or has occurred
- See it all for what it is
- Its beautifully absurd

I am on a rock that's flying through space
But all I want to do is just see your face
No moment in time could ever replace
The way that I felt within your embrace

I saw the utter paralyzing pain in his eyes

So much of the identity he had constructed to represent himself today, was a product of the attachment to an idea of who they were together
Like a cartoonist he painted a separate reality with broad romantic stokes
One where she existed for him
While he did not admit this to himself, it was true
Because when she was her own woman
He no longer possessed her

Did he truly love her?
Or did he love the image and feeling of being attached to her?
Could he simply appreciate the time they shared?
Or would he spend every present moment worrying and ensuring that she would stay with him through the future?

Although he was with her for years
He was rarely ever truly WITH her
He was only with the image he projected onto her
The image of girlfriend
The image of wife

And he was never truly himself
He was the image of boyfriend
The image of husband

So when these illusions fell away
And she went on to live a life free of his expectations
His world fell apart
He lost his role
He lost his identity
He lost his life

I lie here, secure and warm in my own bed

But something lurks within this darkness and I swear to myself its not just in my head

At the age of five to my mother I said
That dark scary creatures watched me while I had slept

I'm 22 years old now and its not just the creatures
Its more often dark presences that lack any features

A fear all past darkness could never create
I sense them and feel them in a half-councious state
They whispered my name; just that thought makes me shake

Call it a dream, call it insanity
Its as real to me as my waking reality

Stored away within the cellar of you soul

You keep good deeds never done and stories never told

These items stored will serve no purpose

So just give them away

A compliment, a smile, or hug, can change somebody's day

Give and give, then give some more because you can't run out

The love will just keep on returning; this fact I do not doubt

The need to be understood can be compared an unceasing itch or an executioners hood
Holding me hostage to self-deprecation
Leaving me feeling so empty and vacant
But when I stop placing value on the perception of others, I learn to accept critics as sisters and brothers
Whether you love me or hate me, I'm here till the end
Just being myself with no need to pretend
And just being me is so very fulfilling
I feel more alive, and honest and giving

What makes your eyes shine bright with wonder?
What makes your heart beat like the thunder?
If you could walk down any road
Would you find courage to walk alone?
Will you be honest when I ask
Did you truly love me in the past?
Can you trust me here today
And believe me when I say
That just your perfect flawless presence
Makes me again believe in heaven
There must be forces up above to make such beauty that shines forth love

My eyes open to another day
Oh my God what can I say
How did so much just float away

But time doesn't pass, its always here
So don't dwell on what has disappeared  

'Cause when you do that your someplace else
And that's stress which hurts your health

Love all you can but please stay true
Do the things you love to do

Don't get trapped by expectations
Create your own based on sensation

I just can never fathom
Why people on the daily jump into the corporate chasm
Chasing monetary lies
But scared of living random
They want purpose they want structure
But that **** is lacking luster

Dull and boring plastic people
Countless hoards of roaming sheeple
I want freedom like an eagle
I won't just chase these crumbs like seaguls

I gotta learn to love me for all that I am
For all that I'm not
With all that I have

I gotta learn to trust me
For what I am doing
For who I am now and for what I am pursuing

Cuz one day I'll need to let me
Let me just fade
Into oblivion
Where my body decays

Truth is like poetry.

Most people don't like it.

Tell me something I don't know
Is this life a TV show
When I want fast it all goes slow
When time I grasp for it quickly flows
Far from my hands and out of sight
I wish we all could just take flight
With minds so powerful and bright
From hearts of gold we spread delight
We change the world and strive for right
But every day will turn to night

So many people mistake facts as the answers to life's mysteries

In reality, facts are just clues

Along the path of an infinitely large and undiscovered map

Leading to an ultimate treasure

That is truth

You got time but not a whole bunch
You got money but its never enough
You don't got nobody, nobody to love
But everyone loves you
So that's just enough
You gotta heart, you gotta mind
You gotta spirit so you'll be just fine
You may feel alone, you may feel depressed
But know in the future,you will be blessed
As a matter of fact, your blessed right now
You gotta pair of shoes and two feet on the ground
Hope in your mind and love in your heart
So I think today is a good time to start
Loving yourself, loving your life
Embracing true peace and avoiding all strife

S: Filled with knowledge like one of a kind
C: Soaked with passion, down to my spine
S: My mistakes are my greatest teacher, they put me in line
C: My perceptions were once limited, much like my time
S: Until I spit about life, and made it all rhyme
C: With thoughts so heavy, they could become crimes
S: But my only crime is love, its what I have for all
C: I love when I rise and still love when I fall
S: So don't tell me what its like to really live. From all I was dealt, love could be the least energy I give
C: I turn off my brain and think with my heart. When I do this, my whole life becomes art
S: And my ego falls apart. When my ego falls apart, my soul awakens. Allowing me to go with the flow, let me not be mistaken

What is sin but discontent
With the world and your regrets

Spinning on a tilted axis
What could we do to ever have this
Shot at life and all that happens
Can we know if fate or accidents
Would lead us through theses narrow passages
Down the paths of loss and damages

Through the valley of despair
Please keep going don't stop there

Find yourself on the highest mountain
Right beside a clean clear fountain
Live right now for simple presence
Existence is your holy essence

Body? What's the definition of the word.... body..... a coalition of..... anything? Bodies bodies bodies.....
I'm baked

What was the fuel that drove you into the present and will drive you into the future?
What was the motive for the bridges burned and or moments wasted?
Was the yearning for change a longing for the past?
Or was the only thing that mattered the present since the past and future seemed more and more like a grand illusion with every present moment that presented itself to a conscious mind that could not truly fathom the concept of consciousness itself?
Would the greatest of discoveries just lead to more questions?
Where can we find truth? Who are we? Who aren't we?
It doesn't make sense.
But doesn't that make it all the more beautiful?

Time to engage with your surroundings
Don't deny the violent sounds that are your own heart's poundings
Deal with all life's ******* no matter how bleak it may be sounding

"I wish I would have expressed and felt love more"
"I wish I would have expressed myself/been myself more"
"I wish I would have been true to myself instead of living the life others expected of me"
"I wish I had helped more people"
"I wish I hadn't been such an *******"