unti unting nawawalan ng gana
pero heto ako, tuluyan pa ring umaasa
sa bawat umaga nating dalawa
hindi ko mapigilan na kumapit nalang sa bawat "sana"

kung bakit nagkaganito
hindi ko alam
ang sabi mo, mahal mo ako
pero bakit parang iniwan mo na ako?

hanggang kailan kaya ako maghihintay
kasi sabi mo'y ika'y babalik
pero sa bawat araw na nagdaan
parang nawawalan na ng halaga ang "walang hanggan"

love is not made of giving and taking in equal parts
it is not a favor for a favor
i owe you nothing

love is not a compromise reached after long deliberation
it is not hurting on Monday
and healing on Tuesday

love is not touching because you will leave if i do not
it is not feigning naivety
when you see me cry

love is not the untimely squandering of innocence
it is not the suffocating grip of guilt
it is not your unwelcome touch

love is not
love is not
love is not

when we look sideways
at a subject/object of desire

do we see what is there
     or what we want to see

glances may blur the image
    distort the view
    reflect realities of our dreams

yet often they determine our actions

and thus

the rest of our lives

There are times when I'm overcome by this feeling,
That I want to die before I turn 30.
I don't know why I've become so fixated by the number,
Maybe because it's just over five years away,
And five years flies by in an instant
Without me making any progress with getting better.
My life stopped existing at 16,
So I still have this childish, biased view of age,
Where anything anywhere close to the halfway point
Of the average life expectancy feels 'old'.
I'm just so afraid of blinking and realising
I've missed out on my only chance of youthful enjoyment.
And there are people in their 30s who climb Everest,
Who jump out of planes for fun and who travel the world,
So I know it's stupid.
But it feels like five years from now
I'll be wrinkled, with cracking bones and a stomach
Too weak to swallow adventure.

The lyrics of colors..


It was a field of beautiful flowers.. So many colors and auras, a dream within a dream.. So many reds to spread this crimson song that sings when the wind makes these flowers dance.. The blues are shy as they hide behind the reds not realizing they add the most beautiful lyrics to this quiet song.. The yellows spread their arms far and wide shining like 1000 suns.. The purples are mystery beauty that one can only behold under the white moonlight as it kisses the dark colored dream pedals that shine ever so.. The oranges blossom their sweet melody as they sing in chorus with all the other colors. And the angelic whites are so bright you swear that you see halos over them all.. Within this Galaxy of colors I come across one I have never seen.. In the center of this chaos of beauty stood one shadow black flower.. It stood alone colorless and sad.. As My eyes set upon it I realized that this one was by far the most beautiful of them all.. The shadow black star shined alone at the center of this galaxy.. This is the creator of colors.. Because without this there truly would be no beauty.. Thus beauty starts in the shadow black havens at the center of this beautiful song.. No matter how fast light travels its always greeted by darkness that has gotten their first.. This is the beginning..

There was a fire in the water..
On the mirror lake..
It was a reflection..
It was the only time the fire could make love to the water..
Without ever burning or dowsing one another..
Just a beautiful reflection of an impossible releationship..

I'll be that person
to push you away
if what you want is to go
I could not ask you to stay
always looking to grow
what you need is your own
time to refill your heart
with all the love you have shown
knowledge of self is important
to know and to be
you cannot climb the latter
if the first you cannot see