a love that will last is what we thought
who would've thought it would end so soon
do you regret the days when we both thought
that our love would take us over the moon
for my days with you were not too long
i wouldn't mind living those days again
the love you gave was as sweet as a song
but the love I gave you were only thrown in the rain
darling, i don't regret anything with you
every day I still want to stay with you
even if it hurts me, I would still love you too
even if you don't want me to
if i ask you, do regret being with me too?
would you say no like you used to?
did you change your mind about me too?
because whatever happened, i didn't change my mind about you
i know I have to go on with my life
but can you hold me tight one last time?
a wise man once said,
"one of hardest and painful goodbyes are not the ones that are said. but the ones that have not yet been said and heard by your ears but you can already feel it in your heart. i still want to believe that if we're meant to be, we will be. maybe it would take weeks, months, years. but, i'll wait. if we see each other one day and you realize that you still love me, just remember that i still love you. because it is impossible for me to unlove you.
kaliwa't kanan ang tingin
naghahanap lagi sa dilim
ang iyong buhay na puno ng lihim
ngayo'y ayaw kang patahimikin
kaliwa't kanan ang naririnig
sa mga tunog na hindi naman himig
mga salitang tila nakakayanig
ng pagkatao mo dito sa daigdig
kaliwa't kanan ang nararamdaman
ang saya na napalitan ng kalungkutan
unti-unting nababalot ng kahirapan
ang dating tayo'y puno ng kasiyahan
kaliwa't kanan akong humihiling
sana'y bumalik ka sa aking piling
bumalik tayo sa masaya at puno ng lambing
sana'y ikaw talaga ang para sa akin
kahit isang hiling, sana'y tuparin
iwanan ang lahat
bago pa lumalim
ang mga sugat ng puso
na hindi na gagaling
kung ngayon ako'y lilisan
ako'y humihingi ng kapatawaran
sapagkat ito ay nararapat
upang hindi na kayo
pagdating ng ilang buwan
unti-unti niyo akong malilimutan
sa aking pagpapaalam
sana'y tanggapin niyo ang aking pagbitaw
this is not poem about you and me
this is a poem only about me
i did not write this to let you go
i wrote it because i can't let go
really, this isn't a poem.
I'm scared of the monsters inside of me slowly creeping out.
I'm scared that these monsters are slowly consuming me.
I try to fight it. I really do.
Those monsters grew because of memories.
Bad memories that no one could erase. Memories that stay with me even if i want it to leave.
I can't forget. That's my flaw.
It's not that you did anything wrong to me now.
Because you didn't. You really didn't.
It's not because I haven't forgiven you. Don't think that.
Because the moment you apologized, I already did forgive you. And i would do it again.
I just can't forget everything.
Sometimes, i wish i could wake up with amnesia.
So i don't have to remember the bad.
Because it hurts. It still does.
And i can't express it enough.
I can't put it into words.
I want this to stop.
I want to stop the pain because it's slowly killing me.
I can't even sleep at night without crying.
I can't even close my eyes without imagining.
I can't. I can't let go of it, the memories they haunt me when i'm awake. They haunt me when i'm asleep. They haunt me when i'm with you. They haunt me when i'm not with you.
They follow me like shadows in the dark.
I hate it. I might lose it before it goes away.
I don't know.
I want it to be over.
When will it be over?
i want to sleep
so i can rest my tired body
shut down my mind
and free my soul
i want to sleep
so i can see nothing
the noise won't be heard
and what i say won't be spoken
i want to sleep
so i can be free
free from every anxiety i feel
free from the pain i cause to others
i want to sleep forever
and live like how the wind goes
but always felt.