I am lost inside my head
Every time I lay in my bed
Waiting for sleep to wash over me
Sleep, that blissful nothing.

I am lost inside my heart
My emotions are tearing me apart
But that pain is nothing
Compared to how I constantly feel

I am lost within this world
This world of pain and insincerity
I wish someone would carry me
Back home to where I used to be free

Free from having to search my heart
In order to play my part

In the midst of this storm
I have to pretend to be someone
Who isn't me.

It's 3am

I'm on the phone
No one's awake and I'm alone

It's 3am

The radio's on
Songs are played on lonely station

It's 3am

I'm in my bed
My eyes are open and sleep has fled

It's 3am

I'm on the balcony
The sky is dark and just quite scary

It's 3am

Some windows have lights
Could they also not sleep tonight

It's 3am

I'm still awake
When will life ever give me a break

She stands where the river blows her hair wild

no youth and no favor for her
no hands to clean the salt licks on her skin
her palms are dreams wrinkled dry
yet craving an offer.

You come from a distant land, she says,
heavens bless you.

I got no small change, I respond,
my mind drifts to ponder,

a small change, I need that too,
always hungered for
and faltered through
like I missed the vessel narrowly
to be on the river's other side.

Maybe when I come back,
I turn toward her.

She was gone.

in these winter days,
i feel strangely nostalgic.
i think about her, i do
but it is with happiness
in my heart and, more importantly,
in my brain.

it's over,
the page is flipped
the world is spinning
and the poets keep writing.
they write about love and hate
and sadness and happiness so great
you feel you're floating and you'll never land
but that's okay because you feel safe

and i still miss her

i miss her with my every breath
i miss her with all my cells
i will miss her until the end of times

and i'm happy

i'm happy when i'm sad
i'm happy when memories of her
flood my veins and i feel as though
it will be too much and i will surely perish.

because, at the end of the day,
what is happiness?
it's a beautiful, unknown path to me

but i think that, perhaps, it is time
to get lost on it.